Sorry I was gone for the last few days, but I got Friday off, and took some time off to do things for myself and relax a little bit from this situation.
First, I only had minor more discussions with her on the issue. She didn't quite seem to understand the basic issue I have with wanting to be child free. Instead she was concentrating on all the 'noise' around the situation involving finances, responsibility, realities, etc. So I boiled it down to one concise thing for her.
Basically, I analogized it for her in this way. Basically, I am cruising down the interstate of my life. The traffic is clear, the weather is nice, and the music is up. Now, you are asking me to yank off the steering wheel, huck it out the window, and hope for the best. Why the heck would I want to do that?
Of course, this can solicit no answer. There isn't one, except that we are polar opposite. This has helped a lot. The crying is gone, the complaints are gone, and we are starting to move our seperate ways. There is an understanding and acceptance of that. I know most of you do not agree with me, but treating people with respect because they have a polar opinion of yours is not a bad thing. You can't oops someone who is not doing anything to be oopsed. Sleeping with someone else is easily proved. You can call me stupid, but I do not believe this would happen anyways, since she knows I am aware of these kinds of tactics.
She went out with the girls this weekend, and I relaxed at home by myself. It gave us both time to refresh, so that we can get on with the process of going our own ways without it being 'ultra' emotionally charged. I did not go out with this girl for 4 years because she is stupid and crazy. I did that once with an ex wife, and will not repeat that. She may be crazy about having a child, but she knows that I can be stubborn as a mule. Once my mind is made up on something largely affecting my life, it is not going to be influenced. That is what my ex wife did to me, and I will never let it happen again.
In my state you can not be considered common law (as it is in many states) unless you present yourself as husband and wife. We have zero joint anything. She has no access to my money or credit, nor do I have any to hers. It's clean and simple. Even in a marriage the only assets that can be considered joint is ones where both parties contributed. Even in my one year marriage, she owed me money at the end for some debt. I paid no money. So a live in relationship break up will not result in any of those issues.
She does have a job that pays money, and her own insurance she is on, so she can get her own place. She will go the room mate route, so security deposit will not be an issue on that. Regardless, it is an easily dealt with situation.
I am not offended by any of the posts. I was just letting you know that the 'dump the bitch' type statements maybe make us seem a bit more harsh than we have to. A statement of essentially the same thing saying 'The differences just can't be worked out, and it is time to go your seperate ways' is exactly the same thing. Child free is such a 'bizarre' thing to so many people since so much of our society is opposite this. I sure want people to take us seriously, and not see us as some crazy fringe people. Look at PETA for a fine example of how you can look like a lunatic if you take the 'in your face' approach. Then look at Friends Of Animals (which one of the founders broke off and formed because of the issues) and how their message is taken more seriously.
So things are still in progress. The time off was good, in that it allowed me some time to look into myself, and reassure my choices. I watched ads on TV and realized how many of them push the child full life. It was amazing when you are involved in it, and you are more sensitive to the pervasiveness in our society.
So I am kind of wandering around in this post at this point, so I will let it rest with only a sum up statement on how 'offended' I was by things and some other statements. I am not offended. My mind has not been changed, nor will it. My ego was not stroked by 'having my children'. I could care less about that, since I don't want any. I can not get oopsed, since simple DNA clears that up and I have made it clear that I am aware of women taking this tactic. I am not just a 'nice guy'. I stand firm on my opinions, but have reasonable compassion. I don't want to be 'anti-baby crazy', as I think it is as bad as 'baby crazy'. I have my choice, it is right for me, and I will stand with it. I don't believe there were any other outstanding individual questions.
I will keep you updated as things go along. I can guarentee you, however, I will not be talked into children. I prefer to keep the steering wheel firmly in my hands.
Jim