How to deal with child-centric job when you hate kids

Honestly, I don't have enough hours in a shift to go above and beyond. I've got more than plenty on my plate just doing the basics! I'm still kind of trying to iron out the wrinkles in my routine, but I'm getting it. There's simply no more efficient way that I've found for putting books back, which is the most time-consuming thing I do. What I do now is I separate books based on section and then take each stack to its appropriate section, alphabetize them really quick (takes like a minute) and go down each row putting books back rather than just doing laps around each section putting individual books back. But I also think the rest of the staff is going to be making mistakes along with me because things are completely different than last year. I still don't know where some things even go, like stuff that's obviously part of a series, but I can't find where that series has its own spot, if it has one.

But I spoke to a union rep and was told that it doesn't matter how much shit I have left to do, if I'm scheduled to leave at a certain time, then that's when I leave. It doesn't matter if there's 50 books to put back or an entire section looks like a cyclone hit it. I leave at my scheduled quitting time, and if the librarian or the other assistant don't like it, tough shit. And I cannot work off the clock, either voluntarily or because I'm told to. And believe me, at no point during my shift am I sitting on my ass doing absolutely nothing. I would gladly allow someone to come in and watch me for my whole shift to verify that I am always busy. At worst, I may be sitting on my ass doing something, like labeling books, checking things in/out, putting materials back or reorganizing entire shelves. There is no shortage of things to do when I'm all by myself.

There's gonna be some kind of library activity thing for the older kids where they come in and help me put stuff away from the morning classes, and that is a fantastic help, but when I have back-to-back classes in the afternoon and I'm all alone, there's gonna be a lot of stuff to do and not enough time to do it in. But I was also told that if I absolutely cannot get everything done and I hear about it again, I need to go talk to someone in the office. I don't know if they'll arrange for more help or tell the librarian to shove it or what.

I got bitched at today for not being authoritative enough. Yeahhh, the thing is it is nowhere in my job description to be an authority figure. That's why I'm an assistant. Plus, I have NO prior experience with any aspect of this fuckin' job, and it was never explained to me what I do and do not have the authority to do. I don't know if I report things to the librarian or teachers and let them deal with it, or try and handle it on my own. I also was never told what is or is not allowed in regard to behavior; some things are obvious, but others not so much. So I got yelled at for not doing something that I shouldn't have to do anyway.

I also heard about how I don't follow a routine with the brats. Uhh, yeah I do. A brand new system was implemented like three weeks ago, and right when I was getting used to the first one, I had to forget it and do the new one. I'm still having a little trouble remembering what order to do steps in, but I'm getting it. Then sometimes I've got asshole teachers who come in and decide they're gonna run the library their way and completely fuck up the routine I intended to use, so I've got to improvise and try to pick up where they left off.

Apparently, if the teachers feel that I'm not good enough to run the library, they'll just take the reins instead of letting me do my fucking job. The routine involved requires certain steps in a certain order, but some teachers will do everything out of order, or decide to skip what they feel are frivolous steps. I wonder if I could go down to their classrooms and start throwing orders around because I think they're piss-poor educators. I bet I couldn't do that, so why are they allowed to do that shit to me? I have tried telling some of them multiple times, "This is what we have to do, this is the system we have to stick to," and the motherfuckers still just do whatever they want. Then those teachers tattle on me and say I'm disorganized because they come in thinking they own the place. I've been told I look younger than I actually am, so maybe they think I'm just a dumb "kid" compared to them.

While I'm slowly getting better with being firm with the students, this is not going to be an instant transition, and I've been given a LOT of shit to memorize and implement since I started. A LOT, whether it's organization, repairing stuff, software use, locations of materials, routines to follow with students, rules to enforce, creating entries and accompanying labels for new materials, and so on. Were I a teacher, then yeah, I'd probably have all this shit committed to memory by now. But I'm not a teacher, so it's taking me longer than an educator to get the hang of all this bullshit.

I am an introverted, kid-hating, non-leader individual who would never EVER have chosen a profession that involves direct interaction with an age group I do not like, but I'm doing the best that I can. So the school is essentially asking me to change my entire personality and then getting bitchy with me when it's not an immediate change. I have never had any previous work where I had any degree of authority, and any time I have tried to display authority in my personal life, I get mentally beaten right back down into my "proper place." I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to babysit in my life (no one in my family wanted the "weird" niece/cousin to watch their brats), I have never done any kind of volunteer or paid work involving children before this, I have zero teaching experience or supervisory/managerial experience, I'm not a breeder, and I still don't know all the ins and outs of the library. I went into this job totally in the dark, and yeah, after a couple months, I still am not 100 percent sure of what I'm doing and I do still probably make mistakes. I'm not gonna be perfect at a job I know nothing about in such a short time. The district is the one who took a chance on someone who wouldn't be a fantastic fit for the job (and had no previous experience that was in any way related to the job) and now they're throwing tantrums about their choice of employee.

Well, let's see, I was misled about this job from the very start. I was asked completely irrelevant questions during the interview; I was given a big list of job requirements that gave me the impression that I would be helping the librarian with their duties... as in mostly behind-the-scenes kinds of stuff, not running the fuckin' place in the librarian's absence; I did not know I'd be alone for days at a time, trying to basically be a librarian substitute because the school wants to try and save money; I was not told I'd have to shuffle between multiple schools, some of which are located a few towns away; I got extra duties heaped on me that eat up a big chunk of my shift (with no warning) and then I hear about it when I can't get my required job duties done; I wasn't told about the aforementioned extra duties until after I had missed them, because apparently I'm supposed to just intrinsically know these things; I didn't get told what I can and cannot do in regard to student behavior, discipline and so on, except to be firm with the kids (as an assistant, I don't know how much authority I actually have).

Oh, but in spite of all that, I'm the idiot in the matter.

How long have you been there? I've been through the same sort of thing in which I was told what a job was and it turned out totally different. I can remember a job where I was praised for lowering receivables but then told I wasn't "doing anything" and had extra work dumped. My job was billing and I thought getting the receivables down was my job. When receivables started going up again, the boss got on us about that too so there was no way I could win. It took 2 years, but I did get out of there.

Being in the school system, if you tough it out for a while, you might be able to apply for an administrative assistant type position or another job that wouldn't require kid interaction. It's easier if you're on the inside than coming in from outside. I know everyone has said this, but that is the truth. Also, the experience will open other doors for you. We've all been through similar things in the working world because this can happen anywhere. Responsibility without authority is also something that's very common in the workplace, I've experienced it many times myself.

When it comes down to you defending yourself, when something bad happens, try writing it down, date, time, who, etc., and what happened while it's fresh in your mind. If you have this stuff written down, your boss may be more willing to back you up than if you are trying to remember exactly what happened a few hours or days later. It may not stop the offenders from doing what they are doing, but it will protect you.

Just hang in there.

Oh, good grief.
Get over it.
Jobs suck. If you had another option I would say jump to to to it.
You live with your mother. She provides for all your needs an s beyond.
If you do not like it move out and get another job.
Yes. Some of us have had deal. Yes, we have had tasks we hated.
The difference was most of us provided for our selves.
Pay your own bills.
Feed, house and transport yourself.
Stop blaming mommy and be an independent adult.

Is going to a temp agency a possibility, like for data entry? That is something that is for introverts. I know someone who is tutoring at a university in the writing program. That is one on one. Thing is with low pay to move out you have to put up with room mates for a while

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evilchildlessbitch
Oh, good grief.

Why don't you just quit reading Cambion's posts? There's no need to be nasty to her every time she posts about her life, even if you disagree with her choices.

Umm, I never mentioned my mother. So I guess I'm not allowed to bitch about a job that I hate because your special ass doesn't like it? Oh, but you're allowed to piss and moan about your wanna-breed husband. That sure works out real nice for you, doesn't it? I guess I'm not allowed to have problems in my life. Can any of us have problems that we can talk about here? Or am I the only one who isn't permitted to blow off steam, your highness?

If you don't like what I write, don't fucking read it for fuck's sake! Why's this such a difficult concept for your stupid ass to grasp? You're obviously literate, and as far as I know, English is your first language, yet you seem to think you're adding substance to the discussion by spewing the same useless bullshit over and over again. Need I explain the definition of insanity? Maybe your man isn't the only one who's fucked in the head and needs medication. You don't seem to bitch at anyone else about their problems... just mine. I guess that's how you can feel good about yourself - bullying the random internet stranger. That's pretty pathetic, and as bad as my life is, I can at least say I'm not that much of a piece of shit that I get my rocks off bitching at people I don't know.

I've read stuff on here (and on other sites) that I've disagreed with, but rather than starting shit with people, I just move along to something else where I can contribute something actually insightful. Nobody's holding a gun to your goddamned head and making you read what I write, nor are they making you respond. What in the fuck are you achieving by repeatedly posting "shut up, get over it, mommy mommy mommy" to everything I say? I can't say fuckin' anything on here without you bitching at me and I don't know what exactly you gain from breathing down my ass constantly. I was willing to chalk it up to you being upset over your husband wanting to breed, but since that crisis got averted, you've got no excuse now other than simply being an asshole.

From now on, I will be ignoring your horse shit entirely. However, before the ignoring began, someone had to tell your ass to shut the fuck up. I doubt you'll listen because you seem to be incapable of doing that, but hey, I tried. Maybe you ought to go on over to CFEZ - you'd fit right in with the cunts over there. I know you looove to brag about how fiercely independent you are and how that makes you better than everyone else who got their start in life later, but if being that way would turn me into an insufferable bitch like you, then I'm glad to be a late bloomer. No wonder your husband is bipolar - a person would have to be nuts to want to be near you in person. See, I can take cheap shots too.

---

Aaaand rest. Okay, back to your regularly-scheduled program.

@cfdavep, I need to look more into data entry to see what it involves and if I could do it from home. I've heard some of my friends mention it, but I also question whether or not I could do it on my slow-ass internet (I assume it's done digitally). The temp agency where I live seems to be mostly about things I am either not qualified to do or straight up can't do.

(Also, no offense to anyone on here with bipolar disorder. I'm not trying to be a dick to anyone else.)

I'm not being nasty but you are right about reading these posts.
Real life in the United States is people over the age of 25 are expected to support themselves.
There is no difference between mooching off a duh and mooching off a parent.
There is nothing hateful about encouraging a person to get out of a dysfunctional situation or do their jobs they are paid for.

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evilchildlessbitch
I'm not being nasty but you are right about reading these posts.
Real life in the United States is people over the age of 25 are expected to support themselves.
There is no difference between mooching off a duh and mooching off a parent.
There is nothing hateful about encouraging a person to get out of a dysfunctional situation or do their jobs they are paid for.

UH HUH.

And you are married to a weak assed DRUG ADDICT who cannot make up his mind about what he wants and you waste your time with such a FOOL? Why don't you tell HIM to "Suck it up"? Or are you his substitute Mommy?

Oh he's DEPRESSED is he? "Bi Polar" or some such? BULL SHIT. He's a weak assed LOSER who refuses to take responsibility for himself and is dependent on drugs as a CRUTCH.

99% of this "Depression" is straight up BULL SHIT peddled by pill pushers to make a buck. SURE! You're RIGHT! Some people DO have such issues - but - they are rare. How do I know? I'm a SCIENTIST and I know how to read the studies.

You have the gall to judge others - who DID NOT choose the situation they're in - while YOU remain married to some weak ass whiner who's "depressed" boo hoo - why don't you tell HIM to SUCK IT UP?

YOU are no better either - if you bother with such a LOSER at all. Who's living with Mama? YOUR H IS. YOU. You are an enabler of a DRUG ADDICT and you ought to cut this chump loose.

You wanna preach Tough Love?
RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

I live in either our house or our condo.
My car is paid for, his is not.
He is bipolar, I am not. I am a full time PhD student. He works in the tech biz.
We each drive our own vehicles in our own names.
We both have joint and separate savings accounts to last us for the next five years.
His parents never graduated college, mine were the first generation to.
I had a great childhood but no silver spoons here.
At some age we all become responsible for ourselves.
Weh.

Kind of insane when people are considered insane for thinking people on the backside of 20 should at least be taking steps toward grown up independence.

I would be very careful with saying what one should and shouldn't do.

We could end up in a dangerous territory - one should also get married
and have children...

Unfortunately, life is not make-a-wish foundation.
There are a lot of circumstances that can derail your plans.

I don't know about the US but what Cambion does is a completely normal thing
in EU (at least Eastern Europe). Salaries are low and rents are high.
Three generations living in one house is a common thing as there is no other way.

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evilchildlessbitch
There is nothing hateful about encouraging a person to get out of a dysfunctional situation or do their jobs they are paid for.

There's a gulf between encouragement and being rude to someone because they haven't followed your advice.

I am quite sure the problem is not that Cambion doesn't know what steps she needs to take to get away from her mother. Peevishly repeating that information is not helpful nor is it encouraging, as is obvious from her response.

I also would like Cambion to get out from under her mother's thumb and start living her own life. But it's because I like her and want the best for her, not because I think she's pathetic for not having done so yet.

If you don't respect her because she hasn't matched your expectations of adulthood, skip her posts. Just because people are allowed to swear at each other doesn't mean that it makes for a pleasant atmosphere if that's what you do every time she posts looking for commiseration. There are people on this board I'm not so fond of and probably everyone can say the same, but this wouldn't be a very nice place to spend time if the entire board were devoted to people expressing their opinions of one another.

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evilchildlessbitch
Kind of insane when people are considered insane for thinking people on the backside of 20 should at least be taking steps toward grown up independence.

I don't think you're insane for having that opinion. I think you're aggressive and bullying in how you choose to convey that opinion.

You think it is sufficient to be honest and that kindness isn't necessary. I had that impression once as well. But I still ended up feeling guilty after observing how some people reacted to me, and this led me to the conclusion that we do have other obligations in addition to telling the truth.

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mrs. chinaski
I would be very careful with saying what one should and shouldn't do.

We could end up in a dangerous territory - one should also get married
and have children...

Unfortunately, life is not make-a-wish foundation.
There are a lot of circumstances that can derail your plans.

I don't know about the US but what Cambion does is a completely normal thing
in EU (at least Eastern Europe). Salaries are low and rents are high.
Three generations living in one house is a common thing as there is no other way.

It's starting to get that way in the U.S. too. Rents are getting ridiculous even in small communities, and wages have been stagnant for years. Living on your own at a young age has never been easy, but it's even harder now.

I want to see Cambion make it on her own too so she can live her own life and be happy and she knows what she needs to do to get on her own. I know her job is difficult, but I think if she just toughs it out for a while, things will get better. It may not be immediate, but her life will improve if she just sticks with it.

Cambion, maybe look into moving sideways? There may be a way for you to eventually move into administration where your daily interaction with children is low. I don't doubt your current position seriously blows, but grit down and bear it for a little while and hopefully you can move into another arena in the school that won't stress you out as much.

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JohnDrake
Rents are getting ridiculous even in small communities, and wages have been stagnant for years.

Especially where I live. Rent for a shitty 1BR apartment in a crap neighborhood will run you $1500. That's more than my mother's mortgage for a 4BR 2500sqft. house. You can get a 3BR and roommate it up, but it'll still cost each person $1000 and that's before you get into utilities. Meanwhile, finding a job that allows you to pay for the exorbitant rents, medical insurance, utilities, other bills (e.g., student loans, credit cards, etc.), food, and clothing as well as establish savings is difficult. I've got friends working 2-4 jobs in order to accomplish this. I want to get a second job, but my schedule at my primary job is so unstable that it's impossible unless I decide that sleep is completely unnecessary.

And it's more than a little nervy to constantly berate Cambion when she comes to blow off a little steam about her overbearing mother and shitty job, but then expect sympathy and back pats when life gets a little upsetting.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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paragon schnitzophonic
Cambion, maybe look into moving sideways? There may be a way for you to eventually move into administration where your daily interaction with children is low. I don't doubt your current position seriously blows, but grit down and bear it for a little while and hopefully you can move into another arena in the school that won't stress you out as much.

Exactly what I was trying to say. I work in state government and that's what I had to do; take a crappy job and get known in order to get a better one. For a long time, that worked for me but one thing I did learn was a change in management can really make things go downhill quickly. I have had that happen twice, one time I was reassigned to a new supervisor after a reorganization and all of a sudden me, and many others who did the same job and had more experience than I, were all treated like we were idiots who knew nothing and her way was the only way. After for me months and the cases of the other staff, years of being praised for doing good work, we were all now no good at our jobs because she didn't like the way we did them and of course, our staff was now producing the least of any other supervisor's staff in the office. I was able to move on into another area from there and it was better for a while, then things got worse because the job wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be because of the actions of a regional manager who wasn't even my direct supervisor who was trying to justify his job.

Another job we had a good manager who had been there a long time and knew the programs we handled inside and out and was a good leader. She retired and they replaced her with a guy from the outside who had never been a manager or even a supervisor before and in fact, had very little experience outside of student jobs he had in college and none doing what we do. He was hired because they wanted someone with a doctorate in that job for some reason and because of lack of knowledge and experience, there were a lot of problems.

I think the problems we have are caused by too many people. Too many workers keep wages stagnant due to oversupply and increase the demand for housing and other things that ultimately drives up prices. We need to start reducing our population before everything falls apart.

@ JohnDrake: it's interesting that it is a new "standard" in the US too.
It looks like "balance" is being restored.
The standards have improved a bit in the poor countries but
have deteriorated in the so called rich countries.
The result will be that life conditions will be equally shitty everywhere.

@ paragon schitzophonic: Please can you tell me something more about the cost structure
and time management?
How much do you have to earn to pay for all those things?
How can one exist working 4 jobs?

I used to work in a bank, 60 hours a week + 3 hours commute daily.
I worked like that for 3 months. I met a guy there (investment broker)
who had a goal to retire with 40 and worked 60+ a week.
He was 35 but looked like 50....

I gotta give Cambion a lot of credit, hell, she is working directly with brats. I could not do it.

I've been at this job about two months, give or take. This includes the time I was working prior to the official start of the school year. Also, I don't think this job has any possible chance of growth or advancement to different or higher positions such as administration, nor are there any chances for raises. I mean, if the school can't be bothered to hire proper full-time library staff for each school, they sure as fuck aren't going to pay me more.

Given the choice between busting my ass or being an average employee all for the same salary, guess which one I'm gonna do? Why bother going above and beyond for nothing? Fuck, I already feel like I'm going above and beyond just trying to keep up with all the shit they have me doing. It's not only a lot of stuff - that isn't the problem. The problem is that it's a lot of stuff crammed into a very short span of time. I suppose working for a school district could look good on a resume, but it's not like there's any chance of me being promoted.

There is just still so much about this job I'm unsure about because a lot was never explained to me. I didn't know until recently that I'm supposed to be in charge - I assumed the teachers would keep track of their classes and I would do the library work. There's a lot of trial and error that's still going on for me. If kids are, say, throwing books at one another... obviously, I will tell them to knock it off. But if they continue, do I report that behavior to the teacher and let him/her take over with discipline? Do I not let those kids borrow books that day? Do I make them sit and put their heads down? Do I make them stand in the corner? Do I make them clean up the books? Do I make them write "I will not throw books" 100 times? Do I keep them in at recess? How many chances do I give them, and what punishment do I use each time they get told to stop? Do I have the authority to punish them, and to what degree? What are appropriate punishments for the grades I deal with? This is just one example (out of many) of things I'm unsure about.

Actually I have made many kind suggestions for finding alternative transportation to work, joining the military, joining the Peace Corps, looking for somebody who needs a roommate or just a person who rents a room, joining AmeriCorps, buying a really cheap car or looking for a charity that gives away donated cars, taking courses to get certified in something in demand, pursuing jobs in the tech field because many companies are looking specifically to hire women, applying for medicaid, getting cheap antibiotics.
Others have suggested the same things as well.
What I'm not going to do is throw a pity party for a person who has a part time job at an elementary school (oh yeah, and I was slammed for suggesting she find a mentor to help her with lacking skills) who is mad they have to deal with kids. Huh?
I never expected back pats from any post I put up here. Also, my husband isn't a drug addict, never has been but is a diagnosed bipolar, by a physician and everything.

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evilchildlessbitch
Actually I have made many kind suggestions for finding alternative transportation to work, joining the military, joining the Peace Corps, looking for somebody who needs a roommate or just a person who rents a room, joining AmeriCorps, buying a really cheap car or looking for a charity that gives away donated cars, taking courses to get certified in something in demand, pursuing jobs in the tech field because many companies are looking specifically to hire women, applying for medicaid, getting cheap antibiotics.
Others have suggested the same things as well.
What I'm not going to do is throw a pity party for a person who has a part time job at an elementary school (oh yeah, and I was slammed for suggesting she find a mentor to help her with lacking skills) who is mad they have to deal with kids. Huh?
I never expected back pats from any post I put up here. Also, my husband isn't a drug addict, never has been but is a diagnosed bipolar, by a physician and everything.

Accept that your advice is not going to change Cambion's life, because only Cambion can change her life. If you could not improve her life through advice, you will certainly not be able to improve her life by haranguing her. If her reaction to her situation makes you extremely frustrated and unsympathetic, don't participate in what you see as a pity party - just don't read or respond to those posts.

I have met a number of people who I thought weren't making the most of their talents. I've had to either distance myself from them due to frustration or accept that they have internal struggles that I cannot see which may keep them from taking steps to improve their situation quickly. I think of it as similar to domestic violence: it may be obvious to any outsider that the victim should just leave, yet this often doesn't happen because the person's way of thinking has been warped over the years.

It is also that she is reluctant to leave because I think she still has some animals living there, she doesn't want to leave them in the dubious care of her batty mother. Many apartments don't readily accept pets, and most of the options listed (military, Peace Corps) require leaving the pets.

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nightfire
It is also that she is reluctant to leave because I think she still has some animals living there, she doesn't want to leave them in the dubious care of her batty mother. Many apartments don't readily accept pets, and most of the options listed (military, Peace Corps) require leaving the pets.

This is very true. Before we bought the house, I was searching for new rental accommodations, only to find that most, almost all places in fact, did not accept pets. Many didn't accept birds or even a friggin' goldfish! It was one of my many reasons for wanting us to purchase our own home...but that can be expensive as hell.

ETA: Many of these places wouldn't accept a bird, yet they will readily take breeders with brats, who trash those places posthaste.

I think that it is also about Cambion's preferences -
what she REALLY wants.

Sometimes, the options available just don't match your personality
f.e. you cannot join military when you are some
kind of hippie "make love not war" person.