Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

Quote

Background: in literally every single story about how hard motherhood is, the author has to bend over backwards to say how much she loves her kids, how she'd do ANYTHING to protect them if they were in danger. And honestly, every time it feels like overkill.

I don't know what that deep, burning love feels like. I didn't feel it when he was born, and I don't feel it now. I like my kid a lot. I would even say I love him. I want him to feel cocooned by the love of our family.

Quote

Wow. So much concern and outreach from my post yesterday. This week has been a spiral. Take a seat because I’m tired. And I wanted to set straight - we’re not married. I call him husband and he calls me wife because it’s easier than explaining to people why we’re not married/engaged yet. It’s a force of habit, but he is only the “boyfriend/sack of potatoes that lives in my house” right now.

After the daycare incident yesterday evening my mom texted and asked if she could take my boys (8,9 from previous relationship) for the weekend for fishing and a park trip. I don’t get along with my mom all that well, but I decided hey, why not?

So I tell them to pack a bag and throw their skateboards in the car, I’m pissed anyways and don’t want to be in the house. Now I know some of you will judge me harshly - but I didn’t want to take the girls. It’s an hour and 20 minute drive each way to my moms and I didn’t want to make them be in the car. I was going to leave about 7:00 so the girls would only be awake for about an hour, they usually go to sleep at 8.

Cue the dramatics. “They can’t go, they haven’t cleaned, they don’t deserve to have a fun weekend, what if * his daughter from previous relationship, 8* comes over tomorrow who will she play with, why doesn’t she take all 4 kids, this is bullshit” and then, “oh you’re not taking the girls with you? Screw that im leaving too.” “I don’t have to watch them if I leave before you.” And then the man child started walking out the door?!

Told him he wanted to punish the boys because their cleaning skills were equivalent to his. He was the dad so there was no reason he couldn’t watch the girls for a few hours. Lots of other drama, he says I always get my way?? So I said fine, whatever leave.

So he sat back on the couch and played on his phone. I made the toddler a quick dinner, had the boys pack. Tried to talk to him but he went into silent treatment mode. So I got in the car and left. Texted him from gas station saying I’d be back later. I feel the judging already, but he’s their dad and is absolutely capable of watching the girls and keeping them alive for a few hours.

30 minutes later (all via text)

H: I can’t believe you took the boys. You’re gonna be pissed when you get home.

Me: Why?

H: cats are dead

Me: okay

H: kids are alone

Me: good parenting

H: you left. So did I.

Me: I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work.

H: you’ll find out.

Me: I don’t understand why you do this - trying to make me mad isn’t going to make me turn around.

Silence.

The cats are the boys’ they love them. I felt that he was only trying to get a reaction out of me hence the lack of response.

I dropped the kids, hung out for a bit, got home at about midnight.

Cat box is thrown outside and litter is everywhereeeee. Cat food, bowls, treats, everything’s been thrown in the backyard. I call the cats and they finally came so skittishly. They’re only a few months old and not ready to be outside. I got the kitties inside. Didn’t hear screaming so grabbed the litter box and took it back downstairs and filled it up. Gave them water.

Walking back to upstairs, I see my boys’ door is shut. That’s strange, I was going to open it so the cats could sleep in there.

HE FUCKING RANSACKED IT. Threw everything off the dressers and shelves, pulled the dresser drawers out and dumped them, pulled their mattresses/bedding off, and upended their bookshelves and side tables.

I went and checked on the girls, both sound asleep in their beds and no noticeable issues.

Then I went to his room, turned on the light and ripped his blanket off. Something about how I couldn’t believe what a child he was destroying other people’s Things, and that I wanted him out of the house, now. He just looked at me, grabbed another blanket, and went right back to bed.

** Do these posts have a text limit? I feel like I’ve been writing forever but toddler is still sleeping and baby is playing happily with the cats and a laundry basket. **

I drove down to the gas station because I felt like I was going to push him into an escalation I’d regret that’d end up with more things being broken in the house. Or worse, I’d yell and scream and he’d act like I didn’t exist.

Called my poor aunt, it’s 12:30 in the morning now. Discussed options with her. Went home. Sat outside. Finally called dispatch.

The officer I got assigned to was nice, but since I couldn’t verify that anything was broken broken, vs. just “tossed about” he wasn’t sure if he’d actually be able to stick a charge. Counseled me on how this is the beginning stages of abusive relationships and gave me a crisis hotline. Talked for about 30 minutes, he kept asking if I was sure that we were all safe? Yes, yes. He said if we were safe and it wasn’t going to escalate he would like me to go the the county court house Monday and start filing paperwork to get him out of the house legally and start custody papers.

Part of me thinks they looked up his history, he got charged with threatening to kill someone with a knife 10 years ago and was in jail for a while, and then didn’t want to have to be the ones to come wake him up in the middle of the night.

But he was right, I didn’t have enough cause, which is part of the reason I called - to figure out what I needed. And I felt like he helped a lot.

So I went to bed, texted my aunt about the phone call. She offered to have her felon ex and his friends come help but I just laughed at her and went to sleep.

He leaves for work at 6, so he’s gone for the day. I’m trying to decide if I can get my mom to take the girls today/tonight so I can clean the boys’ room before they come back.

Baby woke up, changed her diaper - she was still wearing the one from daycare. Sigh. She uses a different brand than me sometimes so it was 12+ hours in the same diaper.

Going to get my ducks in a row and figure out what paperwork to file, the officer said once it’s all filled out they can serve him and make him leave the house.

Thank you all for reading, this and the original post. I really do appreciate all the words. For a while I really thought I was going to come home to dead cats, so at least they’re here and cuddly. Love love.

Quote
Cambion
Follow-up to the Moo with the Duh who wants to do paternity leave + daycare. She told him his idea was stupid and he decided he will no longer pick the kids up from daycare to teach her a lesson about trying to pick fights with him and left their kids at daycare without giving the teacher a heads-up about coming to get them late.

Quote
Cambion
Another update to the Duh daycare abandonment story with a "separation/divorce" tag. Honestly, what asshole tree do these women all pick their mates off of? Guy decides to punish the kids for not cleaning the house well enough by not letting them go on a fishing trip, so when Moo let them go anyway, he proceeded to tell her the cats were dead and the kids were completely alone in the house because he left them.

In reality, the cats were just thrown outside (were all retrieved and seem to be unharmed), the girl kids that did not go on the trip were safe in their beds and while Duh was actually home, he did completely trash his sons' rooms. She told him to GTFO the house and he just rolled over and went back to bed. So he just made shit up to get a rise out of her and then refuse to get out of her house (it's hers, not theirs).

Oh, and this stellar example of humanity has a criminal record from a decade ago where he threatened to kill someone. IThe house may be hers, but I also know it can be a BITCH to evict someone. What a fucking trainwreck. Who looks at someone who threatens to murder a perso with a deadly weapon and goes, "Mmhmm that's the one I want?" Because I can't imagine this kind of crazy is easy to hide.

Quote
toraneko
Those clever comedians running breakingmom have changed it to "breaking dad" as their April fools joke. I thought there already was a breakingdad, but anyway, I imagine a typical breaking dad post would involve bitching about moomy's bitching about dad's constant gaming, or her constant harassment about doing chores and watching brats. And then maybe conclude with "I didn't even want a family in the first place".

Quote
twocents
breakingdad is a private group where one needs approval. I would love to see it if only for the schadenfreude content but I am a member of the cf groups so I doubt I would get it. breakingdad is probably private because only the moos are deserving of the right to bitch

Quote
Cambion
There's a sub that kind of acts as a gateway to r/breakingdad where you basically go, spout off how many mistakes you have and that you hate parenting before asking if you can be admitted into r/breakingduh. Someone over in the Moo sub mentioned that r/breakingdad went private because each half of the same married couple was in each sub - Moo in breakingmom, Duh in breakingduh, and I guess one of the Moos was reading breakingdad and recognized the details from a Duh story as details that bore a resemblance to a Moo story and told the author of the Moo story. They found out they were bitching about one another on their respective breaking subs and the shit his the fan, so now breakingdad is private because Moos can get bloody vicious when they find out someone has an issue with their behavior/rules/appearance/etc.

Quote

Gonorrhea

I just got a call from the county health department that I tested positive for gonorrhea. I had my first prenatal appointment last week and apparently they tested me for STDs as part of a normal pregnancy blood draw?

I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for 7 years. He's the only person I've ever had any form of sex with. And I'm the only person he's so much as kissed for our entire relationship. I have no idea how I got this, unless he's lying to me and has been unfaithful...but that seems just as, if not more, unlikely as a false positive...so I dont know.

I trust him, but my brain is reeling and I dont know what to believe anymore. I have an appointment with the county in the morning to provide them with my sexual history (they won't take my grand list of 1 over the phone -_-) and plan to get another test done then just in case.

I just needed to get this out somewhere. I'm struggling to parent (SAHM to 3) and school my oldest since I got the call. But I can't tell this to any of my friends...at least not yet.

And I'm scared what this means for the baby, I mean, I dont have any idea what this means for a first trimester fetus - we were so happy I was pregnant again (and this is supposed to be the last one). But I'm afraid of misinformation on google....or maybe I'm afraid I'll be convinced that my husband cheated? Ugh. I just don't know.

Quote

A couple days ago I posted that I tested positive for gonorrhea at my first prenatal appointment for baby #4. I was having a lot of trouble believing that he was unfaithful, but the evidence was pretty solid as I must have gotten it somewhere and I haven't been with anyone but him, ever.

I got a retest done yesterday, even though every health care professional I spoke to said it wasn't worth it, that this test is never wrong. Well, I guess it is sometimes. The retest came back negative - my OB says she's never seen that in her 15 years of practice. She intends to test me again at my next appointment, but I'm not sure what it would prove since I accepted the treatment for gonorrhea (antibiotic shot in my butt) at my appointment yesterday.

Thank you to all of you who commented on my previous post. A lot of you helped me to get my head on straight and not dissolve into a puddle of panic in front of my kids!

Quote

so this is my first ever post to reddit - pls be kind, im still learning the reason i created an account is that i am experiencing severe mommy loneliness the last couple of months/years. I have two year old twin girls and third one on the way due in two months.
We just moved to the other side of the country, we will be married one year and together six. My 'husband' is an immature, dependant manchild who will not take any responsibility for anything to do with our family. You know what i mean -- taking some ownership in the huge load of 'things to keep track of': groceries, basic needs such as updated clothing according to season + size, buying toys, remembering birthdays or other special occasions (not even for ourselves but also family + friends), medical appointments, and basically anything on our social calendar.

He will do it whenever i tell him, but that directing role has me feeling EXHAUSTED. I literally need to tell him to go attend to his children whenever they are crying. I have to tell him to make breakfast in the morning. I have to tell him which clothes they can wear. I have to tell him where everything is (mind you, everything is in clear sight if he would just make an effort to look in the goddamn closet/cupboard). I always have hope that somehow he grew the ability to care for them without 'encouragement' overnight, so i first let them cry to see if he finally gets it. I end up even more annoyed because of the trigger of crying children, and the fact that i need to actually TELL HIM to do something. More often than not he even has the audacity (or just sheer stupidity? i dont know at this point) to then ask what he needs to do. Jesus. I am so, so done with prompting the other parent 24/7 without seeing a learning curve. I am discouraged thinking in a couple of weeks there will be a third one added to the mix, including everything that comes with a newborn and me still living over here like im some kind of cranky teleprompter.

He complains about not having me-time about three times a week, which makes him look like the hungry caterpilar since he forgets that he already gets about 3-4 hours a week to work out AND also have each night to himself after the twins go to bed. Whenever i have me-time, like actual time away from the house which is about once a month i think, he never fails to send me multiple texts saying how hard the girls are on him because of their crying/dirty diapers/temper tantrums/basically just normal toddler things. Whenever i get home he goes on repeat on how done he is for the day, and how he now needs the evening 'off' (like he's the paid babysitter or something??), spending the rest of the day grumpy or even aggressively angry. This makes me think twice of leaving the house, since i know the consequences of having a few hours to myself.

He never takes into account that i am actually heavily pregnant AND also working 32 hours a week AND can still come up with a decent amount of patience for either toddler or manchild bullshit. Whenever i call him out on not being able to independently act like a parent or a supportive partner, he rolls his eyes and sighs with a look that screams i'm a nag. The amount of support i can count on is limited to two questions: 1. do you want a cup of tea and 2. what can i do. Now the second one seems nice, but if you have to be the one fueling the fire, al-ways repeating yourself, questioning if he really cannot SEE WHAT THE FUCK IS IN FRONT OF HIM, it becomes fake support.

To end my man rant: i am just extremely lonely in having my needs and feelings properly met and understood. I need women around me who understand and to talk to. Can you help me?

Quote
Cambion
And of course she's knocked up again. I don't get it, if these women are so repulsed by their lazy bastard men who do nothing and are sometimes mean to them, why do they fuck them? The sex can't be that good that it's worth making more brats with these guys.

Quote

Single at 35 weeks pregnant on Easter

Basically I just told him I can't do it anymore. We did the babymoon, he goes to my older daughter's football games to watch her cheer, he gets me food I'm craving....... there has been lots to be grateful for. What I CANT do any longer is deal with the blatant disrespect coming from his elderly (85-year-old) mother, who is a psychologist (& mother of 4) & should know how damaging her body shaming can be to a pregnant woman... or from his kids. He has 1 kid (out of 3) that I like. & she still throws tantrums even though she just turned 15. My daughter is 14 (this is how we met, through our daughters) & she's so mature, you'll never catch her slamming doors or stomping around crying- EVER.

His sons (now 18 & 20) hate me since their mom hates me. Btw their mom is the one who cheated on their dad & made the fam go through a 7-year divorce bc she is such a miserable psycho B. But I digress. I do see why she blew the marriage up. She was having mental health issues & fell pregnant with their 4th kid. My (now ex) SO & his parents (both psychologists) coerced her into an abortion that she absolutely didn't want. So she blew the marriage up. I feel her, but also i can't even tell her that bc she HATES me & has poisoned the kids against me.

The issue isn't so much that al of this is going on, it's that he never corrects his kids when they're being disrespectful as fuck. Actually, he gives in to their tantrums which is why there's a patched hole in the wall, which is why they feel comfortable saying "fuck you dad" & saying my soon-to-be-born baby is a mistake. FUCK this shit. I'm done. The icing on the cake was his son not acknowledging the bday gift I got him. Didn't say thank you for Valentine's Day or Christmas gifts either. (The other son is away at college & already called me a playboy slut & other stuff so I don't get that MF any gifts).

I'm so over being SO low on the totem pole that my feelings don't mean a damn thing. Funny part is about the ex wife- she gets 15 THOUSAND dollars a month, he already bought & paid off one house for her, & he's buying her 1 more house per the divorce agreement & that bitch is still beyond miserable & dead set on making sure her kids hate me. The daughter doesn't hate me but she's understandably defensive of her mom (in convos w her dad- I don't talk about the mom) & then she's ALL.OVER.ME. Like I'll be basically naked in bed w just sheets & a bra she'll come rub all over my belly. Zero sense of personal space. & the final tipping point for me was just weird vibes i get.

You tell me if I'm overreacting. my SO dances w his daughter & when he dips her he holds where her butt meets her thigh, the butt cheek crease. I told him that's no place to grab any woman, let alone your daughter, while dipping them. Pretty sure it's the small of their back that you hold. He brushed it off & nothing happened again for awhile until the other day when he's like "You're in great shape (daughter's name!) look how toned & nice your butt is!" & grabbed it. Now he's saying it was more of a Pat, & she was facing me so I can't say if it was a Pat or a grab, but what I DO know is if he did that in public he'd get weird stares bc it's Fucking weird. Is it not??!! My daughter exercises daily & not once have I grabbed/patted her ass. These aren't toddlers with diapers on. They're pubescent teenagers with boobs, periods, pubic hair etc. IMO way too old to be patting or however he wants to justify it.

I told him it's weird & makes me very uncomfortable & now he's saying I said he's a child molester who gropes his kid. I said I didn't say that, but if you touch any other teenage girl's ass you'd have legal issues- & if you touched any other woman besides your daughter like that I'd consider it cheating so it's EXTRA weird to me that you feel comfortable with that. You guys, am I overreacting??

Anyway, I think we're done bc in the heat of arguing I said it's not just weird it's Fucking disgusting & you better never touch my daughters like that or our baby coming. Am I losing my mind?! Thank you for listening to my Easter rant. I'm sitting here waiting for my toddler & my teen to get up so we can dye some eggs & get cracking on this candy, so sorry for the wall of text I just need some feedback & can't ask my friends for fear of rumors getting started.