Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices April 29, 2021 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,073 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices April 29, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 01, 2021 | Registered: 6 years ago Posts: 609 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 04, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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I've thought about it for a while and it's just a fact. I don't love my son.
I have fairly recently left an abusive relationship with my son's father. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time. My doctor is aware. I've been on medication, which I've had to stop for various reasons. I've had therapy.
And I just think it's undeniable.
I don't love my son.
He doesn't bring me any happiness. I don't enjoy being near him. I can't wait to get away from him. In many ways, I wish I'd never had him.
I remember thinking multiple times when I was pregnant that I wasn't bonding with this unborn child and in my mind I had 2 options. A. Abort or B. Accept what I read on the internet and that says I'll bond with my baby when he's here.
Well, he's 2 years old now and I can't stand him. I don't want to feel like this but I feel like there's no amount of medication or therapy that is going to change how I feel.
But I can't let him live with his dad, because he's abusive.
In many ways, I think it's because he's like his dad that I feel this way.
Whenever I asked for space when we were arguing, his dad would just get closer, or block my way, or demand I give him a hug or a kiss.
And I just can't stand when my son comes and sits on my knee, and whenever I try and put him down he cries or screams or just tries to scramble back up.
My ex always had a reason why I had to take care of his needs first, and my son is barely a toddler, and needs me to take care of his needs first.
I've not had any fun since before I was 7 weeks pregnant. I've not done a single thing for myself. Every time I try doing something, he's just... There. Destroying, undoing or demanding my undivided attention.
I can't even enjoy a glass of fucking cold water because he can't not be attached to me. I have sensory issues and don't like being touched when eating or drinking.
I end up with dehydration headaches.
I just feel like my life is now a prison.
I tried talking to my mum about it and she's just outright said that if I try and place him with another family then she'll disown me. Even though it's not what's best for him or for me to be together.
I just feel like that feeling I got when I was pregnant. The you should abort because being sick every day is a precursor to the rest of your life was right.
I expect I'll get flamed for posting this.
It feels like there's no where in the world that can offer me the right kind of support.
Sometimes I lay awake at night and get this fight or flight feeling where I just need to disappear. Put my shoes on and run for the hills.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 04, 2021 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 3,786 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 05, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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I went to grab my 3 year old a pair of pants and left my 15 month old in the (what I thought was secure) living room.
In the the minute it took me to find pants my daughter managed to reach under the gate to the kitchen, grab poop that our 3 month old puppy just left, and smear it all over herself and my floor.
Thankfully it didn’t appear to be near her mouth. That was about the only place she didn’t hit.
I brought her up to the tub where she proceeded to keep grabbing at my hair, really getting the poop deep in there.
I’ve managed to get everything cleaned up, including myself, but I’m done for the day. I better get a damn good Mother’s Day gift.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 05, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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I have a 6 month old daughter, and I've had brain fog for the past year. My pregnancy was awful, but I had earned enough brownie points with my work that they cut me tons of slack, and my very social job had me at home due to covid.
When I finished my maternity leave, I was promoted into a new awesome position as an executive at a new company. It's everything I ever wanted, from decent pay, excellent flexibility, I get to do genuine good for my community, etc, and I'm failing.
I can't focus. I'm not getting things done. I'm not managing my time. My follow through is horrendous. I didn't used to be like this! I went through a few bouts of depression and anxiety, and this isn't either of those.
I've always been a do something 100% full attention kind of gal, but I can't get myself to do that. At this point, my work ethic rotates between: my head hurts, I'm tired, I can't focus, I'm overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I can't brain enough to rub two thoughts together, repeat.
I'm incredibly upset with myself, because I know that I'm better than this and I'm wasting my golden opportunity.
My husband has been supportive, but I keep making huge, dumb mistakes in and out of work, and I don't know how to fix this.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 07, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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We are trying for #3. We kind of half-ass started trying 9 months ago, but DH was not enthusiastic at all and I had a lot going on so I didn’t push it too much. But we have agreed, out loud, explicitly, multiple times, that it’s time to get pregnant again. So now for the past 3 cycles I’ve been tracking and testing and actually trying, and for 3 cycles in a row he’s fucked something up.
Let me preface this by saying that I am one of those women who has an extremely regular cycle. I can pinpoint exactly where I am in my cycle and practically feel the egg releasing. Our first two babies were conceived on first attempts without even really trying. So actually having to work at it is a new thing for us.
The first month of trying, I initiated sex on the day I was ovulating. He insisted that he was too tired and asked if we could just try the next day. By the next day I could tell it was too late. Got my period 2 weeks later.
The second month I didn’t want to miss the window again, so we had sex the day before ovulation and I initiated again the next night. But that night he kept going soft and finally just shrugged and announced that he wasn’t going to be able to cum that night. He’s literally never had that problem before, even when he’s drunk. Wtf. But ok, it’s not really his fault, right? We say we’ll try again tomorrow but when tomorrow comes he’s too tired. No pregnancy this cycle.
So last week was my latest ovulation window. I’m horny, he’s indifferent, but we have actual sex on my actual ovulation day for the first time in forever. We have mediocre sex and then as he’s coming HE PULLS OUT. He swears it was an accident, that he misjudged the angle and that I must’ve changed position. But... like... what the actual fuck.
Like I said above, he agreed multiple times that it’s time to try. Each month I revisit the conversation and double check that he’s on board. He says he’s ready for the next baby. But I’m definitely getting suspicious. This kind of immature, poorly thought-out, underhanded issue-avoidance bullshit is definitely his style.
I’m pretty sure I’m feeling PMS symptoms, which means another wasted cycle. I know that conception is always a crapshoot and that many couples try for so much longer without results and I know I should be grateful for the babies I have. And honestly, if he’s really pulling a stunt like this it probably means I shouldn’t be having any more babies with him. But goddamnit I wanted that 3rd. And goddamnit I wanted this fucked up marriage to be functional for a hot second. Guess I’ll have to confront him sooner or later, although I have a feeling that I wouldn’t be able to trust what he says either way. Wish me luck, ladies...
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 07, 2021 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 3,786 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 07, 2021 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 3,643 |
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And honestly, if he’s really pulling a stunt like this it probably means I shouldn’t be having any more babies with him. But goddamnit I wanted that 3rd. And goddamnit I wanted this fucked up marriage to be functional for a hot second. Guess I’ll have to confront him sooner or later, although I have a feeling that I wouldn’t be able to trust what he says either way. Wish me luck, ladies...
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 09, 2021 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,678 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 09, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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Yesterday was a really hard day with our son. He is 9months and his top teeth are cutting so even with tylenol he was miserable and frustrated all day. Pulling out my hair, screaming when I wasn't holding him, trying to spill/knock over everything he saw, bonking his head on the wall on purpose. The dog wouldn't eat breakfast and followed me everywhere. I was just exhausted by the end of the day and husband said he'd give me a break and cook dinner when he got home. I said I would really appreciate it if he could play with the baby outside or upstairs for like 30mins so I could clean the living room because it was disgusting. I'd happily cook dinner too that was all I wanted. He said "sounds good my love ... ue him getting home and immediately starting to talk about how hungry he was, telling me he had a great day and what happened at work.
No sign of him intending to take baby to the park outside or upstairs. I start cleaning anyway, and after 10 minutes I ask if he's still taking him to the park. Had to remind him to put socks and a sweater on baby. They went outside. And were back in 5 minutes because it was chilly. He starts playing with baby in the living room while I'm trying to clean. I'm totally mentally zombified at this point and they're distracting me so badly I just wanted to curl up into a ball and dissolve. Just one thing. I asked for one thing. He knows I am easily distracted and not being able to focus stresses me out. He starts asking what I want for dinner, saying he will cook etc.
I said I could have already started dinner if he'd given me the alone time he said he would. That pissed him off and he took baby upstairs. Okay. I finish cleaning the living room, decide we're having leftovers, and offer him a plate. He says no and I put baby to bed. He sulked off into the basement and didn't say another word to me. This morning he woke me up to tell me he was leaving and didn't even say happy mother's day. I know he doesn't have anything planned so that was all I expected. Maybe I'm just being petty or neurotic who fuckin knows! Idk why I expected him to deal with his feelings instead of me having to coddle him anyway! Maybe I'm stupid for expecting anything from him because I'm clearly just a shitty mean partner and don't deserve appreciation. God. I got 4 hours of sleep last night I just can't wait for this day to be over
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 11, 2021 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 3,643 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 11, 2021 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,410 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 12, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
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I see some people who talk about how they haven’t childproofed their house and they’ve just taught their kids to never touch things in the house or open cabinets.
Like good for you? Do you want me to clap now?
I was watching a YouTuber brag about that they trained their child from birth not to touch things in their house.
I’d rather have a curious toddler than one trained like a dog to stay in their corner.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 12, 2021 | Registered: 8 years ago Posts: 3,643 |
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toraneko
It's the end of tax season and I'm tired, so I'll just let this one speak for itself.Quote
I see some people who talk about how they haven’t childproofed their house and they’ve just taught their kids to never touch things in the house or open cabinets.
Like good for you? Do you want me to clap now?
I was watching a YouTuber brag about that they trained their child from birth not to touch things in their house.
I’d rather have a curious toddler than one trained like a dog to stay in their corner.
https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/naye3l/why_do_people_who_dont_childproof_so_uppity_about/
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 12, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 13, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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I just had my first kid 6 weeks ago. I pushed for 3 hours and was able to have an unassisted birth. I had a 2nd degree tear and still have some internal stitches. I’d put off looking at my vagina as I was afraid of what I’d see. I looked today... it wasn’t a great night to begin with. I haven’t slept well as my son has been a bit fussy (green poo, gassy, does a lot of grunting and squirming and won’t settle properly). Anyways, I looked.... it was horrible. I thought at 6 weeks it would be back to normal... it wasn’t. It’s not... things look... pushed out. And the opening is much wider. Not open mind you, just the opening skin surrounds all of this flesh that now seems to be sticking out that I know wasn’t to begin with. It’s not a prolapse I don’t think or my doctor would have said something. Did this happen to anyone else? Does it get better? Not to be dramatic but this was pretty heart breaking for me.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 13, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 13, 2021 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,073 |
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We were trained "like dogs" to be respectful human beings and I'm glad of it.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 13, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 13, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 20, 2021 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,828 |
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It's basically summer so of course it's time for my Facebook feed to get filled up with posts from my childfree friends, where they share posts about "tricks to make sure you don't leave your kids in the car", and proceed to shame the absolute balls off parents.
"Here's a great product for people who conveniently forget they have a whole ass child in their backseat ????"
"My memory isn't great because of anxiety but I don't think I'd ever forget a kid was in the car for long enough for them to roast to death."
Mmmhmm. So great to know that these weight activated carseat alarms that are purchased to help assuage the constant anxiety of accidentally fucking up beyond repair are just gonna get mom's even more eye rolls and judgment.
I barely remember my kids' newborn days, and you know why? Because I was running on maybe four hours of broken sleep. My daughter's dad and I used to rotate taking days off depending on who got more sleep. Or miraculously we'd both get offered "voluntary time off" (Bezos brand for "don't want to work today? Good we don't want to pay you), take her to the sitters, then go home and pass out.
PPD/PPA fucks with your memory so badly. Any little change in routine can fuck with your autopilot. Low income American working moms are back at work as little as two weeks after giving birth!
"Put something important in the backseat like your purse or shoes so you always have to look in the backseat when you finish your commute" "YoU mEaN yOuR cHiLd IsN't ImPoRtAnT eNoUgH?!" Thank you, you have completely solved my memory issues that come from lack of sleep, lack of support, and anxiety from possibly being viewed as a bad mom.
I remember a post from a dad on one of the other parenting subreddits, years ago now. It was his day to take his toddler to daycare, but he had to get gas before going to daycare (probably not the exact scenario but it was years ago and I can't sift through that many posts to find it verbatim). So he stops, gets gas at the pump, gets back in the car, and drives straight to work. He parks and his kid does something, says something, sneezes, I don't remember, but he described the absolute wave of panic and guilt he felt because if that didn't happen he would have totally just gotten out of the car and left his kid strapped into the carseat and trapped in the car.
It can fucking happen to anyone. Stop fucking shaming humans for using devices or tricks to help them make sure they don't fucking hurt their kids. "I would never do that" good for you Erica, but you also don't plan on having kids, have had great luck with birth control, and are not a fucking saint for saying you'd never do something in a situation you've never been in.
And double fuck moms who shame other moms about this.
And fuck my cats for waking me up at 4am so I saw that post in the first place.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 20, 2021 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,954 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices May 20, 2021 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 201 |