Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

A young person simply saying 'hello' and being on their way is fine. I would/and have responded too. That was a polite chyld just saying 'hello'. What irritates the bejebers out of me are these younger kids who will say 'hi hi hi' over and over and over... and even if you DO respond.. they continue... AND the parunt will let it continue and think it's cute.

If it makes any trolls feel better, i don't like it when adults say hi to me either. Except if they have a friendly dog with them.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Isn't there some troll Code of Honor that states one cannot apply Godwin's Law in the first sentence of their first post?
No cookie.

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Tiquer
Isn't there some troll Code of Honor that states one cannot apply Godwin's Law in the first sentence of their first post?
No cookie.

Do you have cookies? I want some!

Ha ha ha oh Yurble you are clearly a traitor to our cause! larious Your non-conformity will surely confuse the trolls.

Pin a metal on me.. I got baybee stalked. All I could do was think of this board while the 'act' was in progress.

Okay.. I went a local thrift store here that I like to putter around in. Sunday between 10 am and noon is the quietest time to go there on weekend. Got through all my brousing (and got some curtains for my bedroom, a nice pair of shoes and a sparkly shell and jacket combo to wear over the holidays with black velvet pants) and I was in the check out. Guy gets in front of me holding about a 2 year old. Kid had just gotten over a semi melt down as I heard him before I got to the front of the store. So duh stands there and is talking to the kyd and saying "are you a good boy? I think you're real good and you are going to get a baybee burger over at A&W. (which is just across the street)
The kid had just screemed at the top of his lungs that he wanted some freekin thing that they wouldn't buy him.and now they're calling him a 'good boy'
But then came the baybe stalk.
The kid was looking into my basket. So duh looks into my basket and sees the sparkly top. "Oh, look at what that lady is buying? Isn't that shiny?
So the kid leans off of duh's hip to try and touch it. I moved my cart back. Duh gives me a look.
I keep ignoring the dicktrophy and he says to it "oh (some dumb name) I guess she doesn't wany us to touch it"
Well NO! Sheesh!

Keep your rotavirus encrusted fucktrophy away from the merchandise I'm about to purchase, damnit!

It's your hell; you rot in it!

How irritating! Most people know how to respect other people's merchandise, or personal space for that matter. Sounds like Duh has no boundaries, and he's teaching his bastard not to have any either!
What a dickhole!

Happened again! Yesterday it was one grand duh doing a group stalk. I was in a dollar store up here in Nova Scotia (I love to do a tour through Dollarama at least once while I'm up here) and it was a bit crowded because it was a drizzly day and all the tourists seemed to have the same idea. About 20 of us were kind of meandering through a couple asles... Suddenly we hear an older male voice saying.. loudly... "Oh lets just go right through the middle of all these people"
I looked up and it looked like a grandduh with about a 2 yo perched on his hip. So he carged through a group of 5 of us... and said "see the people moved over" (did we have a choice?) and then he proceeded around the end cap and over to the next asle. I could still hear him saying "Where are the toys Bratleigh?"
Then he made another remark about people being in his way... and then said (to bratleigh) "Tell the people that a pretty girl is coming through" (wtf?)
TWO asles over I could still here this jerk. He finally found the toys and was describing each one to the brat. Actually the kid was pretty quiet but grandduh wanted everyone to know she was there and that they needed to get to the toys... and apparently in a big hurry.

I got soooo babystalked last week at the salon. I was minding my own business, sitting in the foyer reading a book while waiting for DH to pick me up as he was kind enough to take my car to get the oil changed. Door opens, in walks a moo with a toddler. This salon, while not Paul Mitchell-expensive, is a very nice salon/spa in an upscale and expensive part of town. It is also very small. So while I'm sitting there and mombie goes over to the stylist chair, her rugrat is playing with a ball. Next thing I know the damn ball hits me in the face! Next thing I know I have a toddler in my face. I hand the ball back to the kid then walked back to the salon area to inform my stylist and the receptionist the unattended child in the front just smacked me in the face with his toy. They were both horrified and my stylist (I do love that girl) invited me to sit in her chair while the receptionist distracted the kid. Needless to say I was furious! WTF was mombie doing-not a damn thing, just chatting w/her stylist over a haircut while she did not have her child in sight. I SOOO wanted to go off on the dumb cunt as this was not a day care, but my stylist is a color genius and I didn't want to get banned from the salon. Had it been under other circumstances I would have ripped that clueless bitch a new one!

Had to help some greasy, mom-jeans wearing, blonde preggo who had two wild she-brats. She needed help with a self-serve copier. (That's right, I'm back in the copy center because miss "I need 40 hours" calls in a lot. YEAH BABY)

"You press this button, then put in your originals, then press start..." For fuck's sake, just spend the extra $.01 per copy and let me do it. And then, "What do you mean color copies are $.49, I thought all the do-it-yerself was ten cents!" Despite the big, "COLOR COPIES: $.49" sign over the damn copier. Reading - it helps!

Anyway, the stalking occurred as she was barely trying to wrangle her brats: "Kailie! Briannen! Get over here! Come listen to the lady and learn how to use the copier. Listen to the nice lady." What. I don't know what gave her the impression of me being a nice lady but whatever it is I need to stop it. The kicker was, she was copying her bratlets' back-to-school lists, despite us having all the local elementary school lists - including hers - available up front for free. Breeders are paradoxically cheap yet frivolous.

Yo, fuck the back-to-school crowd.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

My husband and I were enjoying dinner and drinks at a pub after work yesterday, when a breeder famblee - moo, duhd, and female toadler of about 36-48 months - came in and sat in the booth right behind us.Toadler started in with the ear-piercing shrieking right away; then she began popping her head over the edge of the booth and mugging at my husband. Next, her keepers let her roam free range around the pub - you know, 'cause they're hip breeders, they're not gonna let something like spawning keep them from going out and getting their drink on! The only thing that keeps me from telling people like this off is that people around here are fucking crazy and I don't trust that they wouldn't try to start something right there in the pub, or as we were walking home.

I am a magnet for babystalking. I get why...at five feet tall and tiny, with long blonde hair and big blue eyes I am just not threatening. It doesn't help that (apparently) I look like a Disney princess. Breeders actually ask me quite often if I will dress up like a goddamned princess for their hellspawn's birthday parties, and my dad and stepmom's mombie neighbors have been on my case about getting me to do that before their Bratshley gets too old. It drives me nuts that people expect me to think their kid is adorable because it's bothering me. I'm sorry, that is not how the world works. If some douchey guy in an Ed Hardy shirt comes up to me and starts touching me because he thinks I'm cute, it is acceptable to tell him to stuff it. I apply the same principle to your kid.

What drives me even crazier are the parunts who tell me that I should either enjoy the brats' attention becaus I look this way, or change my looks. I wish I was kidding. Sorry mooface, I like being little and hot. I shouldn't have to look like you do for your brats to ignore me.

The worst is babystalking in enclosed spaces. I got it on my train to work yesterday. First, my train time is sacred. If I am sitting there with sunglasses on and earbuds in, do not talk to me. The gigantic moo got on the train during my morning commute with her goddamned baby in her arms, and instead of choosing an empty row, of which there were plenty, sits right fucking next to me. So the moo spreads her ample self out as she sits down and pulls out a Cosmo magazine which she is trying to read while not dropping her spawn. Finally, she gets sick of trying to balance it, and asks me to hold her fucking kidlet while she reads Cosmo. I glared at her, refused, and tried to get up, but she happens to be the size of Roseanne Barr and Orson Well's love child, so I couldn't move. She is pissed that her kid is getting in the way of her reading about what I assume her husband's secretary is doing to his balls at the moment, so she starts berating me for being an evil selfish cihildhater. Yup, lady, you got my number.

Finally, I am reaching my limit and about to asphyxiate from her moo fumes, so I asked her if her kid had the Bratley Spawn vaccine. She looked at me like a cow in the headlights, and I explained that it could be fatal to her kid since I had a bad case in my youth and it's easily contagious. Never seen something that size move so fast.

I am so glad that my public transit experience is limited to a 20 minute bus ride through the graduate/married student apartment "village" and then to campus so any parents are at least graduate students at a Big 10 university.



I am so sorry about that Moo, I can't even imagine what gos through someone's (tiny) brain to think that that would be acceptable. If these are the most pwecious things in their lives, why are they always so keen to hand them off?

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LadyLuck
I am so glad that my public transit experience is limited to a 20 minute bus ride through the graduate/married student apartment "village" and then to campus so any parents are at least graduate students at a Big 10 university.



I am so sorry about that Moo, I can't even imagine what gos through someone's (tiny) brain to think that that would be acceptable. If these are the most pwecious things in their lives, why are they always so keen to hand them off?

Yes, thank you for this!!! How did she know I wasn't some baby rabid crazy who was going to steal the thing? How does she know I'm not a pedo? How does she know I'm not a serial killer? I'm not any of these things, but she doesn't know that. I mean, I have no capacity to understand why someone would want to steal a kid at all, but aren't these crotchfruit gardens worried sick about babynappers and child molesters and all of that?

Had another doozy today on the train. Again, sunglasses on, book in hand, earphones in, and some creep and his four or five year old little nugget of squirm sits in my row, squishing me in. I'm alternating between reading and playing bejeweled, and the guy is trying to fricken hit on me while the kid is climbing everywhere. Creep says to me, "Ahhh kids. Don't you love them?." I reply, "nope." At this point, the kid is leaning over his duh's lap, staring at me, before whining at his duh that he wants to play bejeweled. The idiot has the audacity to ask me if I wouldn't mind handing over my iPhone to the kid. No. Noooo. Not happening. When I refused, the guy acts like I am the biggest asshole ever for not lending his kid my phone.

And it gets worse. The kid recovers enough from "the mean lady who won't share" to ask me to read to him from my book. That, I can do. Too bad for the kid that I happened to be reading Atlas Shrugged. "Alright, listen up," I started, "'He was holding Dagny half-stretched across the bed, he was tearing her clothes off..."

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brattymcpants
And it gets worse. The kid recovers enough from "the mean lady who won't share" to ask me to read to him from my book. That, I can do. Too bad for the kid that I happened to be reading Atlas Shrugged. "Alright, listen up," I started, "'He was holding Dagny half-stretched across the bed, he was tearing her clothes off..."

The book part is funny as hell. Hard to believe some asshole duh expected a total stranger to hand over something so expensive. I'd have dropped all pretense of civility and told him to fuck off and take his cunt nugget with him.

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brattymcpants


Creep says to me, "Ahhh kids. Don't you love them?." I reply, "nope." At this point, the kid is leaning over his duh's lap, staring at me, before whining at his duh that he wants to play bejeweled. The idiot has the audacity to ask me if I wouldn't mind handing over my iPhone to the kid. No. Noooo. Not happening. When I refused, the guy acts like I am the biggest asshole ever for not lending his kid my phone.

What? You mean you weren't overwhelmed by this manly man's charm?

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brattymcpants

And it gets worse. The kid recovers enough from "the mean lady who won't share" to ask me to read to him from my book. That, I can do. Too bad for the kid that I happened to be reading Atlas Shrugged. "Alright, listen up," I started, "'He was holding Dagny half-stretched across the bed, he was tearing her clothes off..."

YESSSS!!! The fact that you were reading Ayn Rand didn't scare him off? lol I love that part, especially how it's so awkward and uncomfortable not only physically but also in Dagny's inner monologue. How fast did the Duh move the kid?

Another lovely day at Office(Place) during Back-2-Skool season. Everyone brought in their kids to buy shit with Angry Birds and Batman on it. I had a horrible thought...what if the Dark Knight school merchandise came with free movie passes? Anyway...I'm putting stuff on shelves like a good retail peon when I leave my cart out of sight for just a minute eyes2...when I came back, there was a doofus duhd and his two he-brats - one of whom was trying to spread himself across both the duhd's cart and my stock cart.
Me: "Excuse me"
Duhd: "Hurr hey son git off tha cart. Huh huh, kiiiiids, ya know."
Boy: "Look, daddy, Angry Birds!"
Me: "EXCUSE ME"
Dude finally pulls his kid off the cart full of shmancy electronic accessories ($25 printer cables my ass) and I get to continue.

Later, I stop a kid who is running through the store - I could hear him stampeding and giggling. (Where were his parents?) He runs into me - first and last time, and I made sure of that. "DO NOT RUN across the store. I actually looked this kid in the eyes to say it, and I don't normally look my customers in the eyes that often. Damn me if he didn't stop after that.

Finally, there was one couple plus a toddler who were perusing our technology aisles. A coworker and I both approached them at separate times to ask if they were able to find things, etc., and they gave us the same explanation both times: "We're only in here to entertain [name of kid.]" LOLWUT. You are looking to...entertain your kid...in an office supply store. Okay, whatever, just buy some stuff. I like staplers and labeling tape as much as the next person, but I'm old enough to appreciate the difference between one type of ballpoint pen and another. We have all the shit out with licensed characters (i.e., a metric fuckton of flash drives shaped like Marvel and Looney Tunes characters), so the kids are treating it like a toy store.

Otherwise, I'm starting to like my job again - even if some of the managers are in their positions just to be kept out of the workflow. I already hate BTS - I managed to avoid seeing kids and their handlers all summer, and now this.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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LadyLuck

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brattymcpants

And it gets worse. The kid recovers enough from "the mean lady who won't share" to ask me to read to him from my book. That, I can do. Too bad for the kid that I happened to be reading Atlas Shrugged. "Alright, listen up," I started, "'He was holding Dagny half-stretched across the bed, he was tearing her clothes off..."

YESSSS!!! The fact that you were reading Ayn Rand didn't scare him off? lol I love that part, especially how it's so awkward and uncomfortable not only physically but also in Dagny's inner monologue. How fast did the Duh move the kid?

You think it would, but I wasn't counting on this fucker knowing who Ayn Rand is. And I love that part also, she really does uncomfortable well. I really had fun with that, but this was the only time that I've ever wanted to have a copy of 50 Shades of Crap with me. (Not that I've read that BS, I downloaded a sample of it on my iPad to see what all the hype was about...I wanted to take that idiot's "inner goddess" and slap her silly. That shit was awful). I bet that Duh would have booked it faster than he did. (Took him a good ten minutes to realize what was I was reading to the tardlet).

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toomanybrats

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brattymcpants


Creep says to me, "Ahhh kids. Don't you love them?." I reply, "nope." At this point, the kid is leaning over his duh's lap, staring at me, before whining at his duh that he wants to play bejeweled. The idiot has the audacity to ask me if I wouldn't mind handing over my iPhone to the kid. No. Noooo. Not happening. When I refused, the guy acts like I am the biggest asshole ever for not lending his kid my phone.

What? You mean you weren't overwhelmed by this manly man's charm?

Not unless charm was the name of this fucker's cologne.

I am of the "Tits on Toast" variety myself....it never fails when I go out to shop for groceries on my own.

Always some loser duh with a little kyd trailing a couple of feet behind me, duhddy talking a little too loudly in that Gawdawful baybee talk that sounds like the equivalent to nails on a chalkboard.

I usually turn around and give him a stare that says, "Don't you ever shut the hell up?"

Normally that works because I can be quite intimidating when I get pissed. They may make some backhanded rude comment, but I'm just glad when they go away and leave me the fuck alone.

As I left work today and was taking off my work shirt like I always do (tank top underneath), a horrid man pushing a double stroller stared at me.

Later, at the transit center, he boarded the same bus as I did.I put on my shirt again.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

Brattymcpants, I sooo feel your pain.

I happen to resemble a Bratz doll, (minus the hookertastic shoes and makeup)so ,for a while, I got much unwanted attention from little monsters and their makers. I guess you have it tougher, though, because the Disney Princess trend shows no signs of ever ending.

My husband got baby stalked tonight. He also just learned what it is. Some jackass at Walfart, (Hubby loves the place no matter how much I hate it), thought we would let him cut in line ahead of us just because he had a loaf in his cart. He and moo had two full shopping carts and moo is yelling about having to pull out the WIC vouchers. This jackwagon thought we would let him take two full carts when we only had a measly 15 items and this asshole thought he and his moo would be able to take their two full carts of WIC ahead of us??? Hubby went to get the veggies we forgot and duh gave me dirty looks the entire time he was gone. I looked at him, he nodded toward the loaf and tried to shove his cart in front of ours. I went back to reading that magazine I never intended to buy. Hubby came back, gave the duh a dumb look and put our stuff on the checkout, and strikes up a conversation with the cashier. When we got back in the truck I told Hubby what that was all about. His responded with, I had to drag all four of my sisters through walfart and nobody ever offered to let me go ahead! Screw that shit!" I love my charming hubby right now.