The "I got bin go-ed" thread

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peace-n-quiet

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cosmictraveler
I got bingoed by the mom of a friend of mine who passed away about 5 years ago. I developed a friendship with his mom after he passed, and I really thought she was accepting of my being CF based on previous conversations, but today she lobbed every bingo my way that she could while we were having a conversation about something else and the subject kind of forayed into my being CF. I just changed the subject because I didn't want to risk getting really bitchy in response. It really angered me and hurt my feelings based on previous interactions with her where she was quite accepting and even said I "stand taller than most." It's odd that all these bingoes just came out of nowhere. How does it affect her in any way, in any case? :headbrick

I am sorry that this happened to you. But, it just goes to show everyone that you cannot trust breeders. They dragged people here in spite of the fact that there are so many kids already here without parents. How much sense does that make? They are narcissistic and stupid. The only reason breeders have kids is to have a free CNA in their senior years or because of peer pressure. No matter how sane a breeder seems, don't trust them or they will turn on you.

Thanks Peace-n-quiet! Yeah, you are pretty much right. It's sad but true. My husband actually said something similar after I told him about it. A breeder is a breeder is a breeder in the end. I'm just going to steer clear of this subject with her from now on.

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cosmictraveler

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rose
Well I got bingoed again today by my new psychologist , I'm seeing her for issues related to having a shitty and abusive childhood.
Any way on my notes it apparently says patient does not want any children and is looking into sterilisation.

She looks at me asked about it, I tell her yes I want no kids blah blah, she then says "if I were you I'd be keeping all my options open" wtf ....I lost my temper with her and snapped "I do not want them for a variety of reasons and already know were I stand on this issue I am not here to discuss changing my mind.

She then pulled the whole it must be because of my shitty childhood is the reason for not wanting them. I don't know what to as this psychologist is covered cost wise by a government plan thing that I'm under here in Australia and my health insurance covers the rest of the cost. So I can't exactly go find another one that easily either.

Don't ask, DEMAND a new therapist, and make it explicitly clear WHY you are rejecting this therapist. It doesn't matter how the costs are being covered, you deserve to have a compatible therapist. And be very, very clear with any new therapist you get that the subject is NOT up for debate, or you will complain about them. Sometimes you just have to advocate for yourself really hard, and waiting for a new therapist who's more compatible for you will be worth the wait. When I was undergoing therapy a few years ago, I told them explicitly that I need an LGFT-friendly therapist with a fairly liberal mindset. This was a state-funded program and I got who I asked for. Never even asked me about my CF stance or anything, but I knew if it came up, she wouldn't bingo me (and I think she was CF as well). Be clear about the kind of person you need to speak with for therapy, because the purpose is to help you overcome stress, anxiety, and other issues, NOT to try and alter who you are as a person. Best of luck to you. I feel the utmost sympathy for you.

Thank you, I have spoken with my doctor who was horrified that idiots like this therapist exist. My doctor is organising a referral to a new therapist for me. I emailed the dumb bitch of a therapist and told her the reason why I was ending therapy after just the first session and the reason for it was her failure to remain impartial during the session about my personal choices. She also made a few remarks about my physical appearance which I didn't mention on here as I didn't feel it was relevant at the time.

I received an email back with her desperately trying to back pedal. I didn't respond to that one I've said my bit there is nothing more to say.
I did some further searching into her background and according to one online profile she runs support groups for moos suffering from depression and helps them to bond with their new loafs. Wish I had known this before seeing her.

Any health care professional that bingoes you about a lifestyle choice that is not harming others should be reported. They are there to provide a service, not to judge you for your choice. When you see a psychologist, there is a certain amount of trust you place in that person, not to mention that you make yourself vulnerable emotionally.

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rose
Heard today out of some old bag, how my life will be empty without children and that most people once they reach middle age regret it.

Just so you know, I just turned 64 and I don't regret being childfree one single bit. Part of the reason I'm on Bratfree is to support you younger people, so that you know you made the right decision.

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rose
Don't even ask me how I ended up in this conversation with her.. I promptly told her to get fucked and walked off . The old dear almost had a heart attack on the spot.

Wish I could have been there to see that!

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starlady
There is no way that using proper BC the RIGHTway wouldn't work. Double..or triple up. Thre are things to do if you don't use BC.. or if there is a BC failure. If you want to be CF you WILL be CF. That is such a stupid bingo... that ... 'they just 'happen'.

It's true that even if you use BC religiously, you can still get knocked up. (I got knocked up in '75 when I was using both The Pill and the infamous Dalkon Shield IUD.) That's what abortion is for, and that's why I'm 64 and still CF. I not only talk the talk, I've walked the walk.

And reading this thread has made me count my blessings. After decades of being bingo-ed by everyone from my parents to total strangers on a train, at last I look too old to still be fertile. It's a done deal, and my face says so. It's really liberating! Hang in there, young people, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

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Cambion
Good way to make money is make bets with everyone about when you'll have kids. Of course when you don't breed when the other side of the bet says you will, they'll have some convenient reason as to why they can't pay you ever.

Didn't George Clooney make a bet to this effect with Michelle Phillips a while back? She told him that he'd be married and a father in IIRC 5 years, or she'd fork over a sum of money. I believe the Clooney had the last laugh in this instance, as he has so far avoided fatherhood like it's the plague - which we all pretty much think it is.

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starlady

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electricfire
The bingo I've gotten was,
"Well, what if your brother has a kid and you get attached to it? That happened with So-and-So."
Well, if that kid happens to have four feet and a tail then it's possible. But if we're talking loaves here, no thanks.

What has getting 'attached' to your brother's kid got to do with having one of your own? That is a stupid comment. So.. you get 'attached' to a neice or nephew... big whoop. Doesn't mean you want one of your own. These bingoers are really scrapin' the bottom of the barrel for these things.

Goes back to the old wive's tale about how being around children, especially children in your own family, makes you "broody." Which is as good an excuse as I need to avoid being around children - anyone's children.

There must be some truth to it, though; the more I'm around kittens, the more I want to adopt kittens. It's like a physical hunger with me, those tiny soft warm fuzzy bodies, I just can't get enough of them. But human infinks? Oh, no no no no.

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skyeyes

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rose
Heard today out of some old bag, how my life will be empty without children and that most people once they reach middle age regret it.

Just so you know, I just turned 64 and I don't regret being childfree one single bit. Part of the reason I'm on Bratfree is to support you younger people, so that you know you made the right decision.

That's great I've never really had any doubt, but I do think it is really nice to hear from people with more experience about what I can look forward to.

(And, of course, I like to hear from people of different ages because we all do have different experiences, no matter how depressingly similar the bingoes may be)

Being around kyds for me is just about the best contraceptive there is. It doesn't make me broody, it makes me appreciate my life all the more!

I just think when I'm around friends/family with kyds, thank fuck that's not me. Even the PNBs - I'm happy they're happy, but it doesn't make me want to live a similar kind of life. While the children of PNB friends are more bearable, and can even be good company at times, they still have their moments of crack monkey-hellion-ness.

If anyone ever gives me the "aww, you're missing out" I just think about all the misery, boredom and crap I'm missing out on and then I thank my lucky stars I'm CF.

My wife got bingoed by a friends wife. She has quite a few years on my wife and I and this woman, SIL and my wife were having a conversation and kids came up. The SIL has two out of control daughters (9 months and 4 years) and my wife was asked if she was going to have kids. My wife said no and my friend's wife asked "are you sure" and my wife (drawing on her experience with the nieces) said "definitely". With that answer the SIL gave my wife a strange look and said "yeah you just like riling up my kids then giving them back to me". When I heard this story from my wife she told me the story but added what she was thinking which was "yeah I don't even like doing that".

I'm glad my wife refrained from telling them about my vasectomy because I would like to announce it at a totally inappropriate time... like over Xmas dinner which is coming up because the SIL insists on having the entire family over for Xmas so it can build more memories for her kids. Shoot me now.

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uglymike
My wife got bingoed by a friends wife. She has quite a few years on my wife and I and this woman, SIL and my wife were having a conversation and kids came up. The SIL has two out of control daughters (9 months and 4 years) and my wife was asked if she was going to have kids. My wife said no and my friend's wife asked "are you sure" and my wife (drawing on her experience with the nieces) said "definitely". With that answer the SIL gave my wife a strange look and said "yeah you just like riling up my kids then giving them back to me". When I heard this story from my wife she told me the story but added what she was thinking which was "yeah I don't even like doing that".

I'm glad my wife refrained from telling them about my vasectomy because I would like to announce it at a totally inappropriate time... like over Xmas dinner which is coming up because the SIL insists on having the entire family over for Xmas so it can build more memories for her kids. Shoot me now.

I don't know if you have the habit of saying prayers in x-mas but it'd be a nice way to announce it. "Lord, thank you for the food on our table, the health that allow us to be together on this special day and the vasectomy a did a few months ago. Amen. Let's eat." smile

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"Don't you know how to deal with children?!"
"I don't like animals who act on instinct."
I think you're on to something Akihiko.

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uglymike
. Shoot me now.

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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skyeyes
It's true that even if you use BC religiously, you can still get knocked up. (I got knocked up in '75 when I was using both The Pill and the infamous Dalkon Shield IUD.) That's what abortion is for, and that's why I'm 64 and still CF. I not only talk the talk, I've walked the walk.

And reading this thread has made me count my blessings. After decades of being bingo-ed by everyone from my parents to total strangers on a train, at last I look too old to still be fertile. It's a done deal, and my face says so. It's really liberating! Hang in there, young people, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Same here. Two methods of BC, low fertility due to previous issues, and it still failed. How's that for Murphy's Law?

Sure, stuff happens. But when someone tells me babies "just happen," I like to tell them abortions "just happen" too.

We can't control everything, but we can definitely lower our odds to nearly nil, and we can also control how we respond to whatever happens.

Bingoed by my mother again after encountering vile beefing moo and out of control toadler in a cafe - I said "and that is why I don't have brats" after seeing moo have to get up and corral wandering toadler for the umpteenth time and listen to it's shrieking when it wasn't permitted to wander around the cafe putting its nasty fingers in the sugar bowls.

Mother's response "but your kids wouldn't be like that" followed by telling me that children are a fact of life and I can't dislike them, that's "not a sustainable position" then followed by telling me how interesting and fun her great nieces and nephews are and what I'm missing out on. My response? My mother sees the famblee kids when the kids are usually pretty happy, because they are having fun and getting loads of attention/people playing with them. She doesn't have to deal with their tantrums, refusal to sleep, fussy eating, or whatever else brats do to torment their parents. She doesn't know how the kids behave at home, when there's no company, and she doesn't have to clean up after them or get them up and out for school etc. this is the woman who hated dealing with a small child so much that she refused to have any more children and left most of the cunt work to my father, then wondered why on earth I was closer to him than her. She has a short memory.

I beg to differ that I cant sustain a position of wishing to avoid brats where possible. I rarely patronise breederific establishments, and don't go back if a place shows preference for breeders and brats over other paying customers. It's a free country and I am under no obligation to like chyldrun. I may have to, at times, tolerate their presence, but tolerating and liking are very different things.

And I bet every parunt thinks their kid won't be a nasty brat. And kids that the rest of us think are nasty brats, the parunts think are angels. I never want breeder brain.

"that children are a fact of life and I can't dislike them"


Okay.. I don't think I've ever heard that one. I know so many other things that are a 'fact of life' and I have every right to dislike any one of them. It's called 'free will'. She sounds like my mother used to.

I got bingoed by my mother last night.
We were watching tv and some kind of kid commercial came up. She started with "In a few years, when you start working and find a partner, you'll also have kids." Of course I couldn't stay silent since I just recently started vocalizing my desire to remain cf and told her I had no interest in hearing someone call me mother. She responded with "Your cousin was just like you and now she's trying for one. She could already have two if her husband wasn't barren! Now you'll need to have five since you're an only daughter." At that point I got a bit mad and told her to plant and grow grandchildren if she wanted them so much as I was not having any children just because she wants grandkids. I didn't use my very serious tone but I can see the pressure starting. I don't know what the hell is happening to her. Lately she has been so broody. Always mentioning grandkids and how she wants to hold them before she dies (her health is fine). I hope I can find a job soon and move to London.

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"Don't you know how to deal with children?!"
"I don't like animals who act on instinct."
I think you're on to something Akihiko.

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Snark Shark

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milenascarlet
" Now you'll need to have five since you're an only daughter."

FIVE??? :goggle she's gone off the deep end!

These people seem to think we're nothing more than twat croissant ovens instead of human beings....geez! eyes2

(FTR, my moo used to be like this, too...until I had my tubal.)

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

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Snark Shark

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popcornculturejunkie

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Snark Shark

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milenascarlet
" Now you'll need to have five since you're an only daughter."

FIVE??? :goggle she's gone off the deep end!

These people seem to think we're nothing more than twat croissant ovens instead of human beings....geez! eyes2

(FTR, my moo used to be like this, too...until I had my tubal.)

seriously!

and what does being an only daughter have to do with anything? It's not like that's milenascarlet's fault!

I'm an only daughter, too. eyes2 My moo bugged me for years about getting married and having kyds just because SHE did it, and that's what women are supposed to do! Being the only daughter didn't really help much...

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

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popcornculturejunkie

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Snark Shark

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popcornculturejunkie

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Snark Shark

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milenascarlet
" Now you'll need to have five since you're an only daughter."

FIVE??? :goggle she's gone off the deep end!

These people seem to think we're nothing more than twat croissant ovens instead of human beings....geez! eyes2

(FTR, my moo used to be like this, too...until I had my tubal.)

seriously!

and what does being an only daughter have to do with anything? It's not like that's milenascarlet's fault!

I'm an only daughter, too. eyes2 My moo bugged me for years about getting married and having kyds just because SHE did it, and that's what women are supposed to do! Being the only daughter didn't really help much...

I really hope mine is in a bad phase. She once suggested she had to find me a fiancé to keep me from traveling in the future. If she was serious, then she really doesn't know me.

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"Don't you know how to deal with children?!"
"I don't like animals who act on instinct."
I think you're on to something Akihiko.

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milenascarlet
I hope I can find a job soon and move to London.

http://www.raf.mod.uk/careers/

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Someone I know was talking about sexism and how he was oblivious to it until he had a daughter. This continued with how transformative parenting is, and how it changes your perception, and is the only way to realize certain truths.

Isn't it great to know that many people can only empathize when they have close personal experience through their offspring? And the more things change, the more they stay the same, because in talking up parenthood as the ultimate form of empathy, he's still oblivious to people who are not like him: people who choose not to have children and who find it rather insulting to suggest that having children is the only way to have your eyes opened to things.

I think this is the one and only time I'm glad my mother acts the way she does. She doesn't bitch and moan for grandshits. I think because I was a unholy terror when I was a child and she doesn't want a round two and/or she assumes that I'm a complete retard and would just take over raising the loaf and bitch and moan about how she "has to" do it (just like when she did my homework for me when I was a kid). Even if I wanted kids, I wouldn't have them. I refuse to let my psycho Moo ruin another person's life like she has mine. You want grandshits so bad, Moo? Marry your idiot - then you can have grandshits-in-law.

For the folks who are also onlies whose breeders pressure them for kids, might I suggest telling them something like, "If you want grandkids, you better go adopt a teen girl and have someone knock her up." They might not be the almighty, golden, sacred Biological Grandchild^TM, but it's either a second-hand grandshit or nothing.

My mom saves the bitching for more important topics than grandbrats. My sister on otoh is society's sweetheart and believes children are the moon and the sun.

Had the strangest thing said to me recently I'm not if it even counts as a bingo but an acquaintance of my mothers was apparently asking her about when am I going to breed and my mum defended me.
But when I came to visit later that evening this woman was still there and she said to me "you know, you may choose not to have kids, but your still part of the human race wether you like or not." Wtf I mean talk about about being screwed up....I had no idea what to make of that one!

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rose
Had the strangest thing said to me recently I'm not if it even counts as a bingo but an acquaintance of my mothers was apparently asking her about when am I going to breed and my mum defended me.
But when I came to visit later that evening this woman was still there and she said to me "you know, you may choose not to have kids, but your still part of the human race wether you like or not." Wtf I mean talk about about being screwed up....I had no idea what to make of that one!

Yup, that's a bingo, trading on the same assumptions as this moo.