Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 28, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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I theoretically give him to the wolves today. He has not once, twice, but three times dig into and ate his own poop today. I have cleaned him and my bathroom up each time. He’s autistic and four. It takes everything in me to not physically grab hold or him and throw him out the window. I am so beyond frustrated.
Potty training isn’t hard. He pees and poops with no effort. We’re trying to get him to realize the sensation of needing to pee or poop. That’s the hard part. Today was ridiculous. I took him to the potty. He wouldn’t go. I made him sit for a good 10 minutes. He wouldn’t go. No indications he needed to. Usually does a weird little half hop on the potty when he needs to poop. Nope. And not even 15-20 mins later he was digging around in his pants. I give up today. I have to make sure he’s in zipped up clothes so he can’t do any excavation. Send (ironically) chocolate.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 28, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,947 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 28, 2022 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,257 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 28, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 29, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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twocents
hell some animals eat their own and others poop.. dogs are famous for this.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 29, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,947 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 01, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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He wants to go overseas to see family. My cousin will also be there with her kids. I love her and her kids but seeing her kids is triggering to me because my child has a disability. I cry over his disability all the time and I’m so depressed over it. I’ve been in this depression that I can’t seem to get out of.
He mentioned going overseas to visit family and I told him “there’s a reason why I don’t want to go but I don’t want to tell you because I know it’s going to upset you.”
He insisted I tell him and I told him the truth. Seeing my cousin’s children is going to be so triggering for me. The vast difference in how my child is how how my cousin’s children are. And my child and cousin’s childen being together in one place, and see how behind my child is makes me feel so anxious. I know it’s not fair and doesn’t make sense, but that’s the truth.
By the way, it’s not that I’m not talking with my cousin. We’re always chatting. I just don’t want to be together right now.
My husband was annoyed at my confession and is sulking.
I just feel so alone.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 01, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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I'm a regretful SAHM to a 3yo. Not a "I love my child but I hate being a mom" parent either, I feel responsibility and obligation towards my kid, but I don't love them. I try my best to hide it cos I know they deserve better, I tell them I love them, I'm affectionate, etc. But I'm counting down the days til they start school and I finally get a break. (Can't afford daycare, no babysitters)
I've seen people comment on tiktoks and articles about this subreddit with stuff like "well don't have a kid if you don't actually want them!" Or "some people can't have kids so you should be grateful!" Well newsflash to those holier than thou observers: you don't know you're going to be a regretful parent til you become a parent, and then there's no going back.
This kid was planned, wanted, years in the making. Every period was a crushing disappointment. We were looking into fertility treatment when we finally conceived, but miscarried that pregnancy at 8 weeks. I tried to see the silver lining of "well at least now we know we can get pregnant!" But I was devastated at the time. Now I know nature was trying to save me from this hell. A few months after the MC, we got pregnant again and this one stuck. I was cautious after the MC, but optimistic. I sang and talked to my bump, looked forward to meeting my baby.
Some people say their whole universe shifts when they meet their baby, and they fall instantly in love. But plenty of articles try to reassure you that that doesn't happen to everyone, so don't worry too much if you're not immediately smitten, it'll come in time, etc.
None of them said I would look at my baby for the first time and my first thought would be "I've made a huge mistake". And that was before the sleep deprivation began.
It's harder than I ever thought it could possibly be. There are no breaks, because even on the very rare occasion that I do get to go out alone, I know I have to come home so I'm never truly relaxing. Never truly able to get back to a baseline level of happiness. I feel like I'd need at least two weeks away to even begin to feel like a human being again.
I could list all the reasons why, but most people in this sub already know. The never ending monotony, the lack of time, money, agency, being touched out and over stimulated constantly, etc.
Recently some friends told me they were thinking about having a kid and without even thinking about it, I blurted out "oh god, why?!" I genuinely cannot recall a single reason I wanted a child, though I know I had some at the time. Other friends have posted pregnancy or birth announcements on social media, and I cannot bring myself to lie and say congratulations. There's nothing to congratulate, the poor idiots are about to ruin their lives, and they're doing it by choice, just like I did.
And I know I can't warn them, because it's not an acceptable thing to say, and they would never believe me. I also try and remind myself that other people obviously do not experience parenthood the same way as me, cos otherwise they'd all stop at one kid like I've done, but I honestly don't know what it is they're getting from this experience that I'm not. It's not rewarding or fulfilling or makes life worth living or any of the other trite clichés people trot out about having children. It's just hell.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 03, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 03, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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Cambion
From r/regretfulparents. A very wanted, very tried for brat winds up being a mistake.
However, I don't entirely agree with the bolded line. Yes, there are people like this person who had a brat they wound up regretting, but as evidenced by every childfree website that has ever existed, it is VERY possible to know you'll be a regretful parent without needing to become one first. People really really need to examine why they want kids, as well as asking themselves whether or not they are up to the task of caring for them and that whatever they have built up in their minds as the parenting experience will be at least a thousand times worse and a thousand times harder than they think.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 03, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,257 |
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Well newsflash to those holier than thou observers: you don't know you're going to be a regretful parent til you become a parent, and then there's no going back.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 05, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 05, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
withQuote
If you wait until you are "ready," you'll never be ready.
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"God will provide"
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 08, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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I don’t understand!
You made the baby! YES, that means you have to take care of him when you don’t want to!
YES, that means you have to take care of him alone sometimes when I’m not available just like I do EVERYDAY when you go to work weekdays!
YES, that means sometimes it going to suck taking care of him but you have to do it! It’s not always going to be fun taking care of an infant, it’s a fucking needy infant.
Did they expect us to pop out a 5-6 year old right away out of the womb or something???
Babies come first and they got to be taken care of, tf. I’m so sick of him getting verbally mad at me and upset because it’s his turn to take care of his child.
It’s not irrational, he says? So it’s rational to get angry every time you have to be left alone with the thing you made?? Its 10 months in; yes you still have to take care of it. You will always have to take care of it/him.
Edit: I wish I was dead.
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I told my bf to call me when he’s alone with the baby and he has an emergency with him. Like if the baby is sick or is in pain or anything serious.
He calls me literally when I’m in a cab and tells me the baby “won’t fucking go to sleep” and he wants to relax.
Last time he called me when I was out with friends at 2am to tell me the baby woke up in the middle of the night and he’s pissed off it’s taking long to put him back to sleep.
I should call him at his job and be like “emergency, the baby did a blowout after I just changed him and it pissed me off!”
It’s not a vent line. What am I supposed to do if he’s literally just being a baby and you are the caretaker? I just hung up on him this time. He was mad I had no more advice other than “just rock him and wait it out”
Oh and when he’s mad at me, “I do nothing but take care of a baby all day, that’s not that hard”
But yet you’re calling me whenever you lose your cool when you’re alone with the baby.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 08, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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I don't even know what to say about the meltdown my toddler had today. It was public, long, and garnered the disapproving stare of many people. I wasn't even embarrassed about it... I was just sad.
We went to the library that we've been to over 50 different times now. He played with other kids, and we found new dinosaur books. Then, at the checkout line, I couldn't find my library card. Disaster. Absolutely unacceptable. He launches himself backward onto the ground with an audible thud and proceeds to screech and kick for the next half hour. Both of his shoes fly off with the force of his kicks, I get smacked in the neck with a book, and he even pulls off his socks in the same second. He starts crying for me to pick him up, all the while kicking me in the face. As I manage to wrangle his body off the dirty floor, he goes full body plank, and I narrowly avoid clamping his neck between the swinging doors as we exit the library.
Several people lock eyes with me as I lug my red-faced, screaming child away. I'm trying to soothe him, but nothing is being heard. I try my best to get buckled in the stroller so we can just reset his environment but this kid FLINGS himself out the stroller ONTO THE STREET (the library is in the middle of a downtown district) and I'm forced to lift the entire stroller and his body hanging off of it so we can cross the street while a car patiently waits at the crosswalk...
We're home now and I'm so, so tired. And sad.
My child has been one of those 'dandelion' children from the time he was born. Took to breastfeeding, sleeping, potty training - easily. Likes people. Eats everything. Yeah, it's shitty to categorize children, but realistically, my motherhood experience was ... blessed. From someone who has never believed in any religion, it was honestly odd, believing that on some level, the universe had showered me in good fortune to have such an easy baby.
But he's two weeks from turning 3, and it's all upside down. He started to yell at me and others. He's waking up and kicking in the night. He's kicking me when he asks to be held. He gets caught in these tantrums where he asks for one thing and immediately upon getting it, flings it across the room, and cries for it again.
I KNOW this is normal. I know it's developmentally appropriate. I've seen it many, many times in different children. But it hasn't been a thing with him until now, and it's such a SUDDEN switch. I'm experiencing whiplash and mourning cause my expectations have been built up and I can't help but think that something went wrong recently, that maybe getting him in daycare was a bad choice (3rd week he's been) or that I'm not doing enough.
I don't know... just seeing him flail and cry and not being able to help made me feel like a failure...
But brightside is that there are some wonderful, compassionate human beings out there beyond the judgemental stares. Shout out to the mom who helped put my child's socks and shoes back on while I was trying not to drop him. Shout out to the dad who found a purple balloon for my child in the hopes of distracting him. Thank you to you both, really. Talk about a solid.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 09, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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Cambion
Ohmygawd, whyyyyy do men get so maaaaaad when they have to take care of their own kiiiiids? I think the better question is why did all these idiots go and breed with lazy worthless man-babies? Surely they showed signs of not being good parents prior to sluicing, and creating children with these men won't magically make them selfless.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 09, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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Cambion
Another new parenting term I learned today: dandelion child. Apparently if a person is a dandelion, it means they are less sensitive, less vulnerable, more strong minded and are capable of bouncing right back from even the harshest of environments and that dandelion people are inspirational in their ability to thrive.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 09, 2023 | Registered: 1 year ago Posts: 65 |
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Cambion
My child has been one of those 'dandelion' children from the time he was born. Took to breastfeeding, sleeping, potty training - easily. Likes people. Eats everything. Yeah, it's shitty to categorize children, but realistically, my motherhood experience was ... blessed. From someone who has never believed in any religion, it was honestly odd, believing that on some level, the universe had showered me in good fortune to have such an easy baby.
But he's two weeks from turning 3, and it's all upside down. He started to yell at me and others. He's waking up and kicking in the night. He's kicking me when he asks to be held. He gets caught in these tantrums where he asks for one thing and immediately upon getting it, flings it across the room, and cries for it again.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 09, 2023 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,947 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 10, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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We've been trying for baby #2 since June. All signs are showing that I"m ovulating every month. My husband likes to have a cigar almost every night. Around November I asked him to cut down on the cigars, he lost it, got really angry, refused. Fine. I asked him to at least look into the mobility of his sperm. He started some research, i didn't want to push it, haven't heard a thing back. I'm ovulating today, I gave him subtle and not-so-subtle hints that we should do something about it. I mentioned last night that we should have a quickie this morning, he slept downstairs because it was too hot upstairs. We both WFH. I mentioned we should have a quickie. He's now currently sitting outside working and smoking a fucking cigar. It's 11:30am. I have an interview in an hour and all I can think of is how he is actively and openly straight up rejecting me. We both want another kid but every single one of his actions proves otherwise and I can't help but feel unloved, unwanted and embarrassed.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 10, 2023 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,947 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 10, 2023 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 12,457 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 10, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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au pair
It went so far that kids would start calling us (the au pairs) mom, would just go to us for comfort and would only want to do stuff when we were around. A friend got fired and kicked out of the house because of this, the woman was apparently jealous and very angry that her kids liked my friend more than their own mom. Two months later she came back begging my friend to come back. She had already found a job and rejected the offer, and the kids turned into little demons (destroyed things, pissed all over the stuff from the new au pairs, would only obey my friend when the mom could get her on the phone, etc...). These parents are so used to having so much help that they can't survive without an au pair, but also want their kids to treat them like their parents. It doesn't work that way, though, you're either the caregiver or you're not.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 10, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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But the fact that he gets really angry over being asked to smoke less also suggests that he is about as mature as she is. Why do people who can't communicate decide to get together and bring babies into it?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 10, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |