Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

There could be lots of reasons the idiot carried the pregnancy to term. Lack of access to abortions (or couldn't afford one - I've heard more than one Moo say she's having a baby because she can't afford an abortion), thought the baby-daddy was going to stick around and he didn't, she didn't find out she was knocked up until she was past 20 weeks, she bought into the Life Script^TM and thought she wanted a child, she wanted someone to love her because her family and baby-daddy don't seem to, or maybe even straight up denial of the pregnancy.

Even then, who forced her to take the child home after it was born? If a woman wants to give her child up for adoption, doesn't that process begin right at the hospital? If she didn't want a child, why did she keep it? Doesn't sound like she had any pressure from family to keep it. What was the logic behind her decision? Like okay, you done fucked up getting and staying pregnant, but why raise a child you don't want when you have the ability to give it away to be someone else's problem? Don't they have Safe Havens where she lives? You have a whole month to dump your kid at a fire station or an ER.

I really hope she gives the kid up, for both their sakes. She might ensure he is not neglected or abused (or so she says), but that's like a D-minus in parenting. It's juuuuust enough to not fail the test. Providing for your child's needs and making it known all the time how much you resent every aspect of their existence is a good way to wind up with a kid destined for therapy. You can give your kid food, clothing and shelter and still be abusive.

Christ on a stick, what a fucking trainwreck.

Moo marries and breeds with her autistic husband and it took her having three brats with him (all of whom are also autistic) to realize his awtism makes him a shit parent. Moo took his ass to therapy, but the shrink basically told him he doesn't have to invest in his own kids mentally or emotionally since because awtism. Oh, and put on your party hats, folks, because the dumb broad is in pig again with a SECOND set of twins by this man! Both of whom I'm sure are destined to be tards just like Papa.

Duhddy surprisingly holds down a job, but I can't imagine being a part-time dog grooming assistant is hauling in six figures. He sounds like a man-child too - won't eat what Moo cooks, won't shower unless she puts it on his schedule (says he went over THREE MONTHS without showering because she did not explicitly instruct him to bathe. His momma had to force him to shower).

She's leaving him because he's a shit parent. That is completely understandable, but why in the fucking flaming fuck did it take her this long?? Why did she not see what a horrible parental unit he was after child #1? Maybe she's a little retarded too if she needed to have five kids to realize her husband is a shitty parent.

I want to know what she even saw in this unwashed tard to make her marry him in the first place if he's such a loser now.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/yjz2c7/im_leaving_my_husband_because_hes_autistic/

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It sounds bad. I know. Thats why I'm here.

I thought he was sweet and quirky when we got married, even throughout pregnancy he was great, this real attentive guy. But as our kids get older it just gets more apparent that his autism makes him a terrible parent. And now I'm pregnant. Again.

We have twins, who are almost six. We have a toddler, just turned three. And now I'm pregnant again, with another set of twins.

When I told him he said "Well you're not gonna keep it, are you?" And that was the end of the conversation. I probably won't, because I'm doing all the work and I can't do that with five kids.

When we had our twins, the first time one cried, he woke me up and brought him to me. I had vaginally delivered twins not two hours ago and he was waking me up because one was crying.

As the years go on he's getting worse. All three kids are autistic themselves, and our boy twin is the very emotional type. He cries approximately twice a day. I work with him, to help him through it, but his dad just walks away. Because "crying makes me uncomfortable and my therapist said to avoid uncomfortable situations".

Thats another thing. I think going to therapy has just made him worse. All she does is reinforce that he doesn't need to do any of the emotional labour because it makes him uncomfortable.

He doesn't even bring any real money in. He works as a dog grooming assistant in a shelter, which he really enjoys, but he legally only works part time. He volunteers the rest of his working hours to them.

I work full time. My kids spend more time with my brother than they di their father and he doesn't care. My brother has had all three kids since Monday and I don't think he's even noticed.

All my kids ever do is complain about their dad. Our daughter has told me that he isn't allowed to come to their birthday party. Our three year old cries when his dad tries to hold him.

They have zero emotional connection to him. They don't like him. My sister got divorced in the last year and my niece keeps talking about how awesome it is with just mom at home, which my daughter has latched on to. Its something fucking bad when your five year old is trying to convince you to get divorced, isn't it?

Not to mention the man can't look after himself. He would never eat if I didn't premake his meals. He wouldn't shower if I didn't write it in to his daily schedule. I let him go without scheduling him a shower once and he didn't shower for three and a half months. He only showered then because he went to stay with his mom (because our kids were sick, and he had a freak out at the prospect of getting sick, too) and she made him shower while there.

I'm just bitching about him. He's awful. He's a terrible parent and I'm sure I loved him at one point but I don't remember when and I don't remember why or how. Theres not a single thing I like about this man anymore.

Anyway, I have a lawyer sorted. I'm not losing my house to this man. Now to just convince him to sit down so we can actually have the conversation.

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It sounds bad. I know. Thats why I'm here.

I thought he was sweet and quirky when we got married, even throughout pregnancy he was great, this real attentive guy. But as our kids get older it just gets more apparent that his autism makes him a terrible parent. And now I'm pregnant. Again.

Sweet and quirky are his strong points? There is a reason we give those men the friend pat on the back, love.

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He doesn't even bring any real money in. He works as a dog grooming assistant in a shelter, which he really enjoys, but he legally only works part time. He volunteers the rest of his working hours to them.

Who is the provider? Welfare? You're about to have brat #4 and #5 with a man child that works part time and doesn't bring any money in.

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All my kids ever do is complain about their dad.

It is very safe to say your brats are already smarter than you.

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Not to mention the man can't look after himself. He would never eat if I didn't premake his meals. He wouldn't shower if I didn't write it in to his daily schedule. I let him go without scheduling him a shower once and he didn't shower for three and a half months. He only showered then because he went to stay with his mom (because our kids were sick, and he had a freak out at the prospect of getting sick, too) and she made him shower while there.

Bitch married a man who can't look after himself, he works part-time, and his only talent seems to be success at impiging her. Why? And she chooses to wake up to reality with brat #4 and #5 on the way. This has got to be in the top ten of dumbest bint breeders I've seen.

Holy shit, she forgot to remind him to shower, and he didn't shower for 3.5 months?
I wonder if she has to remind him to brush his teeth too?

And she still jumped his greasy bones and made more babies?

HOLY FUCK THESE MOOS ARE INSANE.

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bell_flower
Holy shit, she forgot to remind him to shower, and he didn't shower for 3.5 months?

And the only reason he did was because his mommy forced him to when he visited her, presumably smelling like sweaty balls and onions stuffed into dirty gym socks. Had this not happened, home boy would have gone even longer without bathing. I wonder if this was one of his endearing quirks Moo loved so much? She should have returned this defective product back to the manufacturer about five kids ago.

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Moo has butthurts because the father of her son - who sounds like a casual fuck-buddy - wants at least three sprogs and she wants to get her tubes tied because her first pregnancy was so horrible. He flat out says if she won't give him more brats, he'll go have them with someone else. She just can't bear the thought of him having a big beautiful family with another woman.

I bet you my bottom dollar she breeds with him anyway. It's not like they have a stable relationship - sounds like there's not a lot of emotional investment. I also have a feeling, with them having an on-again off-again relationship, he likely does next to no brat care. At the risk of sounding like a sexist, it is VERY easy for a man to say he wants kids because men do not expect to do anything regarding raising those kids, nor does anyone else expect them to do so. There's a reason widowers with kids will start mommy-wife shopping pretty much immediately after the funeral: they feel brats are wimmin's work.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/ynq4lw/he_wants_more_kids/

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I had my son at 18 and it was the worst experience of my life if I’m being honest. I love him but I can’t even look a pregnancy pictures or even talk about it easily. Anyway I told his dad( we have an on/off thing) that I was thinking of tying my tubes because the thought of pregnancy terrifies me. He says he wants more, at least like 3 kids in total and he wants it to be with me but if I don’t want to then he’ll have them with someone else(yes he said that).

I’m 21 now and I still feel like I don’t want anymore kids but the thought of being on my own while he has this beautiful big family that he wants with someone else hurts me and I don’t know what to think.

And I don’t know, I guess it feels like he only wants me for my body and not in the sexy way advice?

Oh, and this woman's very first discussion was in r/regretfulparents about how she didn't want to have a loaf at 17, but she succumbed to pressure from family. She describes herself as a substance abuser, violent, angry, self-harming, and cries when she has to give her brat basic care. Sounds like a healthy environment for a child to grow up in! Even the comments in this discussion advise her to dump the brat in her parents' laps because they made her have it.

https://old.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/comments/xzm8x4/2_years_in_and_im_losing_my_mind/

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Cambion
I want to know what she even saw in this unwashed tard to make her marry him in the first place if he's such a loser now.

How can someone even want to have sex with someone who will go three months without bathing? What about that is desirable? I predict she's about to embark on a long train of unhoused men with mental and/or substance issues, since that seems her type. Those who are actually capable and have just fallen on hard times would probably not have enough quirks to satisfy her.

Moo bitching and griping about "adults taking over kid spaces" like museums, bowling alleys and arcades.

Ummm, I think you got that ass-backwards there, sweetheart. Kids have been taking over adult spaces for YEARS and it's about damn time adults are allowed to reclaim these spaces. Plus it's not like kids are being entirely excluded - various entertainment venues are simply setting aside hours later in their business days for adults only.

And she "wants kid spaces to stay kid spaces." Kids have enough fucking spaces, and since when do brats have a monopoly on arcades, museums, amusement parks and bowling alleys? I'm 35 and you cannot pry me away from racing arcade machines or DDR machines with a crowbar. You know how much more business these places are going to do when people find out they have special hours that are free of brats?

Bars have been doing this for ever, throwing out anyone under the age of 21 at a certain time. Why does Moo care that her sprogs aren't allowed in some places late at night? Shouldn't the little shits be in bed anyway? Take your crotch dumps to Chuck E. Cheese if you want a family-friendly atmosphere. Adults are allowed to have special privileges.

Lots of "duhhh it's trendy to hate kids now" and "childfree people are assholes" stuff in the comments. Also some brain-dead heifers claiming that it's "age discrimination" to not let children into any given venue.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/yqn38s/kids_spaces_being_taken_over_by_adults/

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So there is this new trend happening in my city where places where children are normally allowed, suddenly stop allowing children at a certain time, even if accompanied by a parent. This includes bowling alleys, fun parks, arcades, putt putt, etc. Even some of the museums have started doing adults-only nights or days.

Last night my husband's birthday celebration was ruined when we showed up at a Barcade (that we have been to before mind you...with our kids) only to discover you have to be 21+ after 7pm. That's so early! They hid this information in an FAQ section on the website, which I didn't think to look on because...why would I? And we have teenagers, not little ones. Last time we went to this place pre-pandemic, our 19yo at the time was allowed in and hung out until 11pm with us. So this rule is new. Half the people who were coming ended up bailing. We had nowhere else to go because all the places around it are either clubs or were closed already. My husband was so disappointed.

I tried to mention this in my local city's sub and was told to get over it, what did I expect, so sad you can't go to a bar with your kids, etc. No, the problem is that the rule is arbitrary and it's happening in more and more spaces. As if adults need safe spaces from kids. Two weeks ago, my 20yo wanted to play putt putt on her birthday. We were turned away because they had a no one under 21 at the putt putt place rule. The place is overrun with kids during the day, but heaven forbid an actual adult would want to come at 8pm. Apparently, the new process if we want to make plans is that I will have to call ahead to make sure children and young adults are welcome.

I'm not asking for adult spaces to suddenly welcome kids. 15 year olds don't need to be in a club. I am asking for kids spaces to stay kids spaces. Adults who want to play putt putt will just have to deal with children being in the same place as them. The Barcade is a little iffy as it is a bar, but again, the rule is new. Clearly someone decided this was a good business decision. There are plenty of other family friendly breweries and bars in the area that think the opposite. Although, who knows for how long.

Love this comment. My, those grapes seem particularly sour.

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Moron
I just don’t get the childfree movement. Like, YOU ALREADY WON. Your life is already way easier than mine. Oh poor oppressed you, needing to fill your free time, only taking responsibility for your life and yours alone. Oh, your mom gives you a hard time for not having kids? Good thing you’re an adult and don’t have to form your identity around rebellion.

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Moron
I just don’t get the childfree movement. Like, YOU ALREADY WON. Your life is already way easier than mine. Oh poor oppressed you, needing to fill your free time, only taking responsibility for your life and yours alone. Oh, your mom gives you a hard time for not having kids? Good thing you’re an adult and don’t have to form your identity around rebellion.

If not having children is winning, according to this person, why did they choose to take the L?

Can I ask why childfreedom is called a "movement?" Like nobody says "parenting movement." A movement in this sense usually means a bunch of people getting together to achieve a goal on purpose. Movements can also be a matter of creating resistance, so I guess childfreedom could be seen as resisting the expectation of reproducing? It's just a weird way to describe it because it's not a movement - it's just another life choice.

Good point too. If not breeding is synonymous with victory, why do so many people choose to be losers? Says a lot about how they really feel about parenting when they admit their kids are basically booby prizes in some reproductive competition that only exists in their minds. I don't feel like a winner or a loser because of my CFness - it's just me having made the right choice for me.

The answer is easy: money. Cheap entitled breeders and their children are not where the money is at. Not when they bring their brood, are rude and obnoxious, leave a minor food bomb in their wake, and then throw fits to get out of paying for anything. Note how family-friendly places like Red Robin, TGIFridays, Applebees, and so on don't advertise "Hey, bring the kiddies for a family night out. No cooking, no dishes." Instead, they're selling the idea of groups of adults to come spend money on appetizers, entrees, dessert, and most importantly, alcohol. Why else would a family restaurant have a liquor license? Las Vegas tried to rebrand itself as a family-friendly destination and it took them years to undo the financial damage. And when rowdy drunken adults get removed from a place of business, they're not going on Good Morning America to conjure up sympathy money.

And because breeders want to do "gentle parenting" but don't know how to properly do it and instead engage in overly permissive parenting, it results in little crack monkeys running around unrestrained screaming and ruining everybody's experience in addition to being serious liabilities. So the best way to mitigate all that is to ban children under a certain age at a certain time. 7pm seems early, but kids should be at home preparing for bedtime anyway and also, adults are not doing the all-night partying thing nowadays nor are places daying open until 2AM. Businesses want to maximize the time adults will spend some of that discretionary income. 9pm is too late when these adults are gonna leave at 1030pm to go home.

And they sit with the assumption that it's just childfree people, but it's parents too. When parents get a babysitter to have a night out sans kids, they're even more pissy about ill-behaved children than the childfree are.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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Cambion
Moo bitching and griping about "adults taking over kid spaces" like museums, bowling alleys and arcades.

As a kid in the 70s-80's I knew by a very young age that there were events/places that were adult only. There were also activities that were age specific for childrun and height requirements for certain rides at amusement parks. If I can learn to accept these exclusions by the age of seven, what is this moo's excuse to be an adult ranting and raving in a public forum about it?

Let me guess, she grew up in one of those inclusive kiss the ass of brats, brats come first and must include brats in everything environments. Does she know what the childfree call it when an adult shows up with a brat (uninvited) to a party where everyone else is over 21? It is called a kill joy, party pooper, etc. and watch the adults (that didn't show up with brats) leave to go hangout elsewhere.

Well, guess what hon. Times change and in society today it is no longer brat-inclusive, and brats come first.

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Cambion
Love this comment. My, those grapes seem particularly sour.

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Moron
I just don’t get the childfree movement. Like, YOU ALREADY WON. Your life is already way easier than mine. Oh poor oppressed you, needing to fill your free time, only taking responsibility for your life and yours alone. Oh, your mom gives you a hard time for not having kids? Good thing you’re an adult and don’t have to form your identity around rebellion.

We often keep being childfree a secret because we know it will change relationships and not for the better. As long as we have to subdue or keep being childfree a secret you can count on there being a movement of like-minded individuals who may have no other place to vent or discuss it.

Oh we KNOW you are jealous and mean-spirited about us being childfree. Join a childfree group on Reddit and post elsewhere. People will absolutely take every opportunity to reply with hostility, tear you apart and treat you like shit just because your profile shows you are part of a childfree group. These are the same nasty people raizing the next generation of hellion bullies. Open a second account and don't join any childfree groups and experience mostly being treated with respect and dignity, because everyone assumes you have brats or plan to and that makes you "one of them."

The childfree movement wouldn't need to exist if it wasn't for the fact that plenty of us have experienced the majority or everyone in our lives giving us shit about not having brats. It is outright bullying, and it isn't any less demoralizing as an adult as it was as a child. And it can be very difficult to escape it when you experience it in your personal and work life. There are also employers who wholeheartedly embrace treating the childfree like they are second class citizens. And while it is possible to move and start a new life where you don't have to deal with it, that doesn't make it easy and it doesn't happen overnight for most of us either. There have been times in my life where I haven't had another adult person to talk with who isn't brat crazy. I've made friends and invested time into relationships that eventually broke down because despite being honest and forthright about being childfree there were constant attempts to bully/shame/coerce me into having brats. Back when I first heard about the childfree movement I had been living it for years and didn't have anyone in my life to discuss it with, except younger people who were just too young to want to procreate. There was a constant shuffling of having "tolerant" friends who didn't care to them changing their minds once they sluiced and no longer being tolerant or understanding to anyone who thinks differently than them. If I wasn't given so much shit about my decision to be childfree then I wouldn't feel the need to read about the misery of parunthood and experience levels of schadenfreude I didn't think possible!

It isn't a zero sum game. Anyone who hasn't yet sluiced can be childfree, you just have to be prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to be so. If that means no sex while living in a red state then that is what is means. Either move to a blue state or embrace a life of no sex. Exercising restraint is healthy. If you're not able to afford/obtain an abortion then don't do the deed. I waited until I was 20, had the money saved and was trained (graduating college) for this exact reason.

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Cambion
Can I ask why childfreedom is called a "movement?" Like nobody says "parenting movement." A movement in this sense usually means a bunch of people getting together to achieve a goal on purpose. Movements can also be a matter of creating resistance, so I guess childfreedom could be seen as resisting the expectation of reproducing? It's just a weird way to describe it because it's not a movement - it's just another life choice.

I don't know, for 15+ years of adulthood I'd never heard the term childfree, let alone childfreedom movement. I was childfree before being an adult but no one ever gave me crap when I stated I wasn't having brats when I was a minor. They likely didn't take me seriously; thought I would change my mind or were relieved that I wasn't hell-bent on having a pignasty as a minor. I didn't care if I was an island of one or didn't marry because I wasn't having brats regardless.

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Cambion
Can I ask why childfreedom is called a "movement?" Like nobody says "parenting movement." A movement in this sense usually means a bunch of people getting together to achieve a goal on purpose. Movements can also be a matter of creating resistance, so I guess childfreedom could be seen as resisting the expectation of reproducing? It's just a weird way to describe it because it's not a movement - it's just another life choice.

I think there is a movement, of sorts. And to me it is pretty obvious why: people are tired of facing discrimination because being single and not having kids are not protected family statuses, only having kids is. From employers who expect people without children to pick up the slack to politicians who cannot stop talking about how policies impact families, to parental leave benefits to doctors withholding sterilization from women, to women being denied medical treatment because they are considered pre-pregnant to negative media portrayals and casual hostility and stereotypes, there is plenty to be mad about. Also, for fencesitters and people who grow up in extremely pronatalist environments (like a lot of religions), it is important to know that it is a choice, which only happens if people talk about being childfree.

I don't talk about being CF IRL very much because I'm sometimes worried about some sort of backlash. If someone asks me if I have kids, I'll just say, "No". I have noticed as I get older that people are far less judgmental towards me for making that choice. Some women (mothers included) have even confirmed that I made a smart choice. A couple have even told me that they wished they made the same choice as I did. I always find it a bit awkward when that happens because I never really know what to say to that.

Maybe I've been lucky? Of course, there are assholes everywhere and I've run into some entitlemoos who are just plain rude and angry. They are the types who figure the world owes them something for their suffering and parental regret, but it's their problem. I'm just laughing at them in my head.

I was in elementary school when I realized I didn't like kids and wouldn't want any. I wasn't interested in playing with dolls or other stupid shit. I also hated a lot of the kids I went to school with because of the bullying. It wasn't me joining the CF movement in grade 4, it was me realizing something about who I am and knew that it wasn't something I ever wanted. I didn't even know that childfreedom was a thing until I discovered it years later on the net. I just considered it a life choice.

I agree that there is a movement of people being more vocal online about being treated like shit because of their CF status. A lot of us have nobody safe to vent to in real life, so we just do it online. If moos and duhs don't like it, they shouldn't frequent CF groups. Just like I wouldn't want to read about shitty diapers and PPD, which is why I stay away from internet mommy groups.

Those are all good points. I guess I never really considered it a movement because it doesn't seem like there's a big fight in regard to things like workplace equality or medical equality. Don't get me wrong, I definitely know CF people rightfully complain about things like being refused sterilization or having to work overtime to cover breeder coworkers or being demonized because they don't like/want/have kids, I just don't see too much push for more protections for CF people.

I don't discuss my childfreedom in real life much either. I've said to some people just in passing that I don't have or want kids and that was the end of it. I often just don't want to be put on the spot, confronted and/or interrogated for a personal choice that affects nobody but me. When I mentioned it in passing online on non-CF websites, I'd get grilled about it or people would try to diagnose me with a mental disorder because to them, that is the only explanation for a woman not wanting to reproduce. I never knew the choice to not reproduce had a name - I found out when someone on a health site told me about it (funny enough, the person's username was "Moo.") Not that I needed a label, but it was also nice to know there were others like me so I knew what to look for to find like-minded folks.

To be fair, I think there are some people who become childfree because they think it's edgy and not out of any genuine desire to not reproduce. They just want to go against the grain because doing stuff like dying your hair blue or having multiple piercings no longer has shock value. I mean the ones who insert their CFdom into every fucking aspect of conversation, much like how parents can't shut the hell up about their kids for half a second. Those are the ones who are more likely to become the "I was childfree until I had kids hurr hurr" types.

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Cambion
Those are all good points. I guess I never really considered it a movement because it doesn't seem like there's a big fight in regard to things like workplace equality or medical equality. Don't get me wrong, I definitely know CF people rightfully complain about things like being refused sterilization or having to work overtime to cover breeder coworkers or being demonized because they don't like/want/have kids, I just don't see too much push for more protections for CF people.

I'm seeing increasing numbers of women in their late 20s being vocal about it, from podcasts to books. Most of the books are pointless to me (they are about coming to terms with being childfree, which I never had issues with) but they also clap back against discriminatory articles and other negative media portrayals.

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mumofsixbirds
I don't talk about being CF IRL very much because I'm sometimes worried about some sort of backlash. If someone asks me if I have kids, I'll just say, "No". I have noticed as I get older that people are far less judgmental towards me for making that choice. Some women (mothers included) have even confirmed that I made a smart choice. A couple have even told me that they wished they made the same choice as I did. I always find it a bit awkward when that happens because I never really know what to say to that.

I'm the same way. I haven't encounter nearly as much backlash as when I moved away from the bible belt. What I won't do is launch into a reason why I don't have kids. I just simply say, "no." I find it an awkward conversation most of the time too and typically change the subject! I know a few breeder pleasers who will always list out their reasons if anyone inquires which just sounds weird to me.

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Cambion
To be fair, I think there are some people who become childfree because they think it's edgy and not out of any genuine desire to not reproduce. They just want to go against the grain because doing stuff like dying your hair blue or having multiple piercings no longer has shock value. I mean the ones who insert their CFdom into every fucking aspect of conversation, much like how parents can't shut the hell up about their kids for half a second. Those are the ones who are more likely to become the "I was childfree until I had kids hurr hurr" types.

I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that lots of parunts think most childfree are just this, trying to be edgy and that we really want to reproduce. They complain and hate 99% of parunting yet can't imagine any sane person would choose to be childfree. Guess one day I'll be an edgy 80-year-old childfree woman, maybe with blue hair. I saw a woman about that age who had lavender hair and was wearing a bunch of lavender clothing. She looked cool, doing her thing.

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freya
I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that lots of parunts think most childfree are just this, trying to be edgy and that we really want to reproduce.

I agree - I think a lot of them figure it's "just a phase," like wearing all black or only dating troublemakers. I remember one of my co-workers (with adult children) mentioned in passing how her son and daughter-in-law decided they weren't having kids and my co-worker said, "that's fine, for now." Like why isn't it fine forever? It's not like she has no grandkids. I think she figures they're just going through a phase or haven't grown up yet, so it's "fine for now" while they're still young, but I bet she'll be hounding them when they get older because they're "running out of time." She's biased, she had her first kid when she was 18.

It's probably why so many breeders and wanna-breeders say we're immature. They see our decision to not reproduce as nothing but us being overgrown teenagers going through phases and we just need to mature and see that real grown-ups have kids, or some shit. I know r/childfree is pretty much seen as a playpen full of hateful adult-sized whiny babies by breeders, but to be fair, that's probably about how childfree people see the idiots in r/breakingmom.

maybe they are stupid enough to entertain the delusion that thinking does not equal maturity. they approve of the animalistic teen humpers and dumpers perhaps. crude ... their brain cells are nothing but placenta cells that took them over

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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freya
I know a few breeder pleasers who will always list out their reasons if anyone inquires which just sounds weird to me.

I know the kind of people you mean, who feel like they have to apologize. I do give my primary reason, but not to be conciliatory, since that reason is "I don't like kids." I say it because I think the bluntness might discourage people from asking questions like that in the future.

haaahaaahaaahaaaaa.. these stupid bints never learn, do they. "i'll be a better mawwwwwm than mine... " assholes from reddit regretful parents. but the dumb little shit teen reading this will think "I'm smarter than that, I'll be different"

What you don’t know before having kids is that you WILL be triggered by all of the things they do, from picky eating to yelling to making messes to sleeping poorly to having opinions to having “big feelings”, and when you are triggered you will automatically resort to the shitty tactics that YOUR parents and caregivers used when YOU did those things. And if your parents yelled and spanked and made you feel guilty as a child, YOU will automatically do those things IF you don’t work on yourself. You promise yourself “but I’ll do a better job than my parents” and lo and behold you’re yelling at a 2 year old for throwing a toy car or making a loud screech. I have felt as though I want to physically rip my skin off and inflict harm on a toddler.

If you feel this way, please please please go to therapy (or similar). Learn about your triggers. Figure out how to reframe these triggering behaviors in your mind. You and your kids and your partner will benefit from you not raging out. I really feel like therapy has been the best investment in myself, my relationship, and my kids’ lives. Things are still very difficult, don’t get me wrong, but I can talk myself down from the ledge so to speak much faster. There is a very clear difference between pre therapy and post, and omg I wish I had started before kids.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

If you had a bad childhood, you need time to recover. In my case it took about 18 years to recover from the first 18 years, and this was after I was out of the house and self-supporting.

Most of these dumbass breeders get out of their bad parents' houses and immediately start breeding in their early to mid 20's. They hardly have any time to just be an adult, alone, before they jump into a relationship (the women almost always choose poorly) and breed. And I might add, therapy, good therapy, can be expensive. Many of these people do not have decent jobs with benefits, so you know they are not getting therapy.

I see a lot of people on Reddit who grew up in abusive backgrounds and they are crowing and congratulating themselves about their great parunting, which often involves "gentle discipline."

One of the dumber ones lately was some chick on the Raised By Narcissists forum who was congratulating herself about what a great mother she was. Her kid was six months old.She wrote, "my husband and I are always careful to let our dotter express herself and have her say about things."

Um whut? Your brat is six months old--you've hardly begun the Hell that is parunting, and you are crowing about the Great Jawb you are doing? Let's check back in about 12 years, shall we?

If you had a bad childhood, you need time to recover. In my case it took about 18 years to recover from the first 18 years, and this was after I was out of the house and self-supporting.

Most of these dumbass breeders get out of their bad parents' houses and immediately start breeding in their early to mid 20's. They hardly have any time to just be an adult, alone, before they jump into a relationship (the women almost always choose poorly) and breed. And I might add, therapy, good therapy, can be expensive. Many of these people do not have decent jobs with benefits, so you know they are not getting therapy.

I see a lot of people on Reddit who grew up in abusive backgrounds and they are crowing and congratulating themselves about their great parunting, which often involves "gentle discipline."

One of the dumber ones lately was some chick on the Raised By Narcissists forum who was congratulating herself about what a great mother she was. Her kid was six months old. She wrote, "my husband and I are always careful to let our dotter express herself and have her say about things."

Um whut? Your brat is six months old--you've hardly begun the Hell that is parunting, and you are crowing about the Great Jawb you are doing? Let's check back in about 12 years, shall we?

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bell_flower
If you had a bad childhood, you need time to recover.

Yes, this, a million percent yes. FAR too many people grew up with toxic/abusive parents that caused a lot of mindfuckery and you have to unfuck your head before you even think about being in charge of another human being. Otherwise, you just do to your kids what your parents did to you and perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Or if the person keeps themselves in check and does not allow themselves to do this crap to their own kids, they do like you said and basically don't discipline their kids at all because these people never learned what healthy discipline is. So for them, it's a choice of either beating/screaming at their kids or letting them do what they want without consequence. Both will result in a screwed up child.

I've also seen waaaaay too many cases of people having kids for the explicit reason of being better parents than their own parents were to them. The problem is that simply not doing what your own parents isn't enough. It just means you know one way to not mess your kid up.