Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

Moo willingly gave birth to twins. I'm sure she found out she was pregnant with multiples at any pre-natal appointments I'm sure she went to because people this nuts about getting in pig have loads of pre-natal checkups. She was pregnant while Roe v. Wade was intact, she could have chosen to undergo a selective reduction and have only one child instead of two.

And wow, she doesn't even keep her regret a secret - she just blurts out that she regrets becoming a mother when she's angry with her kids. I suppose the honesty is refreshing, but finding out your mother wishes you were never born is pretty crushing to hear directly from her, even if it's shouted in frustration. Many parents get hurt feelings when their bratty 4-year-olds throw fits and scream, "I wish you weren't my mommy!" does this woman not think for one second hearing her go, "I wish I wasn't a mother! I wish you were never born!" won't damage her kids? Because it will. A lot. If they put her in the dumpster behind a nursing home when she's an invalid, she'll be lucky.

If her kids are disrespectful assholes, it's because she raised them poorly. Like why is she "requesting" her kids help around the house? Why is she not telling them they will be doing chores? And if they don't do them, they lose all privlieges and luxuries. Sounds like the kids wear the pants in that house.

I wish people would grow some fucking sense and realize shit about rbeeding before going and doing it and ruining the lives and brains of kids who never asked to be here. It will NOT be different when it's your own, meaning that you will not go from hating/disliking kids to adoring them just because you made one that's related to you. Your significant other will NOT magically love a child just because it's theirs. Being a single parent is NOT necessarily easier.

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freya
People who have a strong urge to procreate: Is it a sexual urge or an urge to make baybeez?

I think it can be any number of things that morons mistake as the desire to procreate. Of course the urge to have sex is the obvious one, the consequence of which can sometimes be pregnancy, either planned or unplanned. But then there are people who think they need to make a babby to save their marriage or to trap a partner. Some people want someone to love them, and rather than fussing with being a decent/sane enough person to date, they figure they'll just create a person to force into loving them. Some people are faced with an unintended pregnancy and won't pursue abortion and won't consider adoption because of spousal or family pressure or religion or whatever, so they raise a brat they didn't want.

Other people mistake the urge to nurture something as baby rabies and proceed to have a baby and not something more tolerable like a cat or an aloe plant. For others, it's a midlife crisis and they think the only cork that can plug the imagined holes in their souls is a child, and they don't bother trying to find out beforehand if literally ANY other activity will scratch that itch, like going back to college or bungee jumping. Nope! Only answer is babby! Why? Because it's the "obvious" answer! Does life feel empty? Fill it with a loaf! Then you'll be wishing for the "emptiness" you had before breeding.

Women especially are pressured to believe that they must have children before they reach a certain age, so a lot of them I think have kids they are not ready for or don't exactly want because they're afraid that they might want a kid in 15 years, but will be unable to conceive. So they feel it's best to have one now on the off-chance they want one later.

In other cases, some people just want to do something with their lives and can't figure out what, so the first thing they try for is a loaf because getting pregnant doesn't require much of anything special. You don't need any special supplies, you don't have to pay for anything, you don't have to travel, you don't have to qualify for anything in order to do it or show that you're competent enough to handle it. It's something you can do right in the comfort of your home with zero experience. It's easy and free to get knocked up, so that's why I think many people do it: convenience. Religious whackjobs breed because they feel Gawd wants them to go forth and multiply, so they have a new babby every year.

Not to mention how much people (namely women) romanticize pregnancy. Trying to get pregnant on purpose is what they think is the next logical step in their marriage/relationship and it's fun because they're having tons of sex all the time, but they can brag about it by saying they're trying for a babby. Ever try telling your relatives that you and your partner are having constant recreational sex? It makes Thanksgiving dinner a little awkward. Reproducing to some is romantic because it's the act of growing a new life together with the person you love that is made up of a little bit of each of them. Yeah that sounds almost nice, doesn't it? It sounds wholesome, even.

What they do NOT romanticize because they are ignorant is the actual reality of pregnancy: weight gain, vomiting (sometimes to the point that the woman has to be hospitalized), bodily destruction, mood swings, needing a whole new wardrobe, being unable to sleep because of a big fat gut for months, gestational diabetes, ecclampsia, back pain, sore nipples, the inability to take certain drugs because they cause birth defects, everyone giving you unsolicited advice on your "condition," the fact that pregnancy itself can be life-threatening in some women, the increased odds of violence against the woman (because statistics show a woman is FAR more likely to be hurt or killed while pregnant than when not), miscarriage and the aftermath of it, and the hundred and one other things pregnant women deal with. That doesn't even take the birthing process into account and all the destruction that causes. It's not romantic - pregnancy is horrifying and dangerous. Even in developed nations like the US, women die in childbirth all the time.

In short, I think there are very few people who have an actual urge to procreate without there being some kind of pre-existing reason for which they feel breeding is the answer.

Of course your 3-year-old doesn't listen - what 3-year-old does? If this isn't very blatant obvious proof that gentle discipline DOES NOT WORK, then I don't know what is.

Moo asks what they are doing wrong because the little cunt won't listen. I'd say the problem is neither of the child's incompetent parents has thrown her over their knee and smacked her on the ass yet! It looks like the child faces no consequences at all for her horrible behavior, so what is the incentive for her to stop? You can't discuss feelings and hug it out with a tantrumming toddler! Sounds like they make some feeble threats in an attempt to make her behave herself, but they don't really seem to work.

Boy she's gonna be a real treat to parent when she's older and even worse because she has no structure, boundaries or discipline in her life now. Just three years old and she can already see clear as day her parents are spineless and that she rules the roost. I'm sure she will be a delightful teenager.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/wwugup/tantrums_despite_our_best_efforts_at_gentle/

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It's tale as old as time. My 3-year-old doesn't listen. I know we are not the only ones with that problem but I'm at my wits end because NOTHING is fcking working.

She talks back. She has sudden bursts of fits for absolutely no reason. She hits us. When it's a full-blown tantrum, she screeches from the top of her lungs.

We've been trying SO HARD to do gentle parenting.

During an episode we might try the following:

1. Get down to her level (kneel) and talk to her softly with simple sentences.

2. Ask what's wrong.

3. Offer a hug.

4. Acknowledge her feelings.

5. Try to distract with another topic.

6. Tell her how this makes us feel.

7. Not get visibly angry.

8. Leave her be for 5 minutes.

You know what? All of the above feels like a load of BS. Here's how she responds:

1. "NO! NO! NO! DON'T TALK! STOP TALKING!"

2. "NO TALKING! NO! I WANNA DO X! I WANT IT NOW!!!"

3. She absolutely HATES hugs during a tantrum. She'll fight us off immediately. It's as if we just offended her by reading the room wrong.

4. This does literally nothing. I could acknowledge the feelings of my curtain and I would get better results.

5. More NO NO NOs and screeching

6. She doesn't care. She will screech. BUT I WANNAAAA!!!

7. I feel like us keeping a cool head during arguments makes her feel like she is being mocked or not taken seriously.

8. She will follow us around hitting us.

It's been like this (with some better periods) since she was 2, mind you I knew she was spirited from birth.

Like, imagine that we are driving and she says: "I want my plush giraffe." And we'd tell her, sorry, honey, we didn't bring it. You can have it when we get home. And then she starts screaming I WANT IT NOW! I WANT IT NOW!

What the F, man. My partner would have to slam the breaks and start turning the car around ("alright, we won't go to the playground then!!!!") and she would start screaming NOOO! I WANT THE PLAYGROUND!

Lately we've been losing our sht a lot with her. Yelling, threatening ("we'll take away your toy"). But she doesn't even budge. She yells back louder. If I had been yelled at like this when I was her age, I would have NEVER done a bad thing again. The only one thing that makes her back off is us threatening to throw her binky out. I know it's terrible for many reasons.

I hate, hate, HATE that she will have these awful memories of us screaming at her. But I can't take this anymore. I don't deserve this. We fking try our best to be balanced parents but I can't fking balance myself in Satan's second hellhole.

I also have to mention that we do set boundaries. We do tell her NO. We do tell her "x will only happen if you do y." We do sit down and explain to her (when things are calm) why this or that is unacceptable to say or do. We offer ways to handle problems and emotions. I bought her books (hands are not for hitting, etc), We are consistent with rules.

But she just has to try 5000 things that we don't yet have rules for.

No, you cannot have just butter for dinner. No, you cannot lick the wall at the restaurant. No, you cannot play in daddy's workshop.

We are not allowing her to do just whatever she wants YET I feel like we are raising a brat. Before, I thought, oh, I would never have a brat that says I WANT IT NOW. And here we are.

What tf are we doing wrong??

She is otherwise a bright kid with many talents. She excels at ballet! She is fascinated with balerinas. We used to take her to a weekly kindergarteners' class before and she had UNWAVERING attention for a full 45 mins each time! She wasn't even 3 yet at the time! She wanted to have the perfect movements. And she was still on that "high" and in a good mood for many hours after. Unfortunately, as we started JK (in the country we live in, it starts at age 3), we haven't been able to go as she has been sick constantly. It's been a year that we last went but hoping to restart this September.

What else? She loves to snuggle up to us and tell us how much she loves us. She gives kisses. Starting jk was tough on her because she didn't want to be away from us. She is now starting to open up in school more.

About the geezer breeder one - I read that whole post and from what she wrote, it sounds like she had kids because she's lonely and has no social life. Totally a reason to breed

Moo has a horrid autistic (of course) brat who is already the definition of manipulative. Acts like a shit, then does a total 180 to get her own way. Says if she knew what a shitsack her child would become, she would have killed herself when she was still pregnant (she was denied an abortion - by whom, exactly?). Moo also says she has PTSD from an abusive childhood as well as multiple autism spectrum disorders and her own shrink has recommended she only live part-time with the kid for Moo's own mental well-being because the little fucker is that horrible.

I would not stand for anybody of any age kicking me in the face and breaking my fucking glasses. If her spouse hit her in the face hard enough to break her glasses, that wouldn't be okay. That would be assault and/or domestic violence. Why are kids allowed to abuse adults physically, and why are adults just expected to take a punch? Someone down in the comments asks this same question. Just because the abuser is three years old does not make their behavior not abusive.

In another comment of hers, Moo mentions that on a particularly bad day, she hit the kid back, said as much during an emergency psychiatric evaluation and a CPS referral ensued. Just throwing it out there, but maybe it wouldn't be that awful of a thing if CPS removed the child? Maybe she should seriously consider surrendering the child to the state. Like I'm not being smart when I say this - it sounds like this child existing in the same space as the Moo is having a very destructive effect on her mental health. When a doctor feels your mental health and your child are such a terrible combination that he prescribes part-time separation, it might be time to throw the whole child out.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/wwbn8q/i_hate_my_kid_trigger_warnings/

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Trigger warning: suicide talks and maybe homicide idk.

I apologise for the swearing and content but if I don't scream here I'll break.

Ofcourse I love her but fuck me, she's an awful little shit. I'm awaiting an autism/PDA assessment for her, if we live that long I'm entirely sure she has some form of ODD or PDA. I have done everything I possibly could and this kid is just the biggest wanker some days.

She has broken glasses on the face before from kicking us in the face so much. I get slapped daily like full on two hands to the sides of the cheeks with all her might. Bitten daily and more

I tried desperately to do everything by the books and be responsive/gentle but some days I genuinely get why some parents off their kids and then themselves. I hate her, I fucking hate her. I'm sorry I ever brought her into the world. Most days because of how the world is but some days I'm sorry I inflicted the world with her.

She is safe, but fuck me I'm drowning. And no amount of breaks will make up for the bad days. They wreck me. I don't feel human anymore. I'm not myself. I never held hatred in my heart for anyone, I never screamed or yelled, I never hit anyone without it being in self defence but this child brings out the very worst in my psych. I reach thoughts no sane person should and thoughts I never thought I would have.

She is the both the only reason I keep going (because who the fuck else would look after her and not abuse her) and the reason I want to fucking die.

If I knew what I know now I would have killed myself when I was pregnant rather than being denied an abortion at every turn.

If I have to add one more Specialist to the regime I may not cope. Everything is a fights and every fucking specialist is expensive we're due for funding soon but fuck I'm broke as shit now which doesn't help.

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Cambion

Women especially are pressured to believe that they must have children before they reach a certain age, so a lot of them I think have kids they are not ready for or don't exactly want because they're afraid that they might want a kid in 15 years, but will be unable to conceive. So they feel it's best to have one now on the off-chance they want one later.

I'm beginning to think this is a deep-down fear of aging. The irony of the fear of aging is it takes a much longer time and is much less severe in many instances as the instantaneous hell shat upon a woman who breeds. Eventually everyone may end up incontinent by 95 but most younger women are incontinent as a result of breeding. I've also seen what was likely grandmos or grandpos carry around a baybee with a big puffed-up chest and desperately trying to make eye contact with anyone in the vicinity so they will be acknowledged. I call this the geezer breeder strut. While it could be their brat, I always hope for the sake of the brat that it is their grandparunts so that brat has a better likelihood of a brathood not punctuated by death of a parent of advanced age.

I've read theories (I don't think they are confirmed) that one baybee can age a womban as much as seven years:

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Cambion
What they do NOT romanticize because they are ignorant is the actual reality of pregnancy: weight gain, vomiting (sometimes to the point that the woman has to be hospitalized), bodily destruction, mood swings, needing a whole new wardrobe, being unable to sleep because of a big fat gut for months, gestational diabetes, ecclampsia, back pain, sore nipples, the inability to take certain drugs because they cause birth defects, everyone giving you unsolicited advice on your "condition," the fact that pregnancy itself can be life-threatening in some women, the increased odds of violence against the woman (because statistics show a woman is FAR more likely to be hurt or killed while pregnant than when not), miscarriage and the aftermath of it, and the hundred and one other things pregnant women deal with. That doesn't even take the birthing process into account and all the destruction that causes. It's not romantic - pregnancy is horrifying and dangerous. Even in developed nations like the US, women die in childbirth all the time.

Besides religious dictates, convenience, strange boredom or lack of thinking/imagination "it's just what you do",or being stupid (romanticizing parunting) I'm thinking much of this is fear of aging. Some fools like to even say that baybeez mean their genes will live on forever- actually it is always seven generations or less. It is completely possible (albeit very rare) that one's genes can be obliterated before being passed to the next generation. Any time I research a skin product I always seem a teen or young woman under 25 using products for age prevention. Worrying or rubbing product on their lineless faces won't prevent aging unless it is sunscreen. If they want to slow down aging take care of themselves, stay in healthy relationships and don't breed.

That list is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. I don't blame a three year old for being confused.

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1. Get down to her level (kneel) and talk to her softly with simple sentences.

2. Ask what's wrong.

3. Offer a hug.

4. Acknowledge her feelings.

5. Try to distract with another topic.

6. Tell her how this makes us feel.

7. Not get visibly angry.

8. Leave her be for 5 minutes.

She's three. What ever happened to NO!, and STOP THAT! Clear and to the point. And if they hit you or continue, a whack on the bottom. (Not a beating.) You only have to do it once or twice.

The kid is screaming and playing them and not paying attention to them because she knows there are no consequences for misbehavior.

Totally with Cambion on the point about DV. It amazes me how many kids are allowed to wail on their parents. The little fuckers are strong too. Better get the upper hand while they are still young.

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freya
I'm beginning to think this is a deep-down fear of aging. The irony of the fear of aging is it takes a much longer time and is much less severe in many instances as the instantaneous hell shat upon a woman who breeds. Eventually everyone may end up incontinent by 95 but most younger women are incontinent as a result of breeding.

I've read theories (I don't think they are confirmed) that one baybee can age a womban as much as seven years:

That's definitely a big one too. So many people breed because they think it will give them something resembling immortality through their genes. What they don't get is unless they go out of their way to inbreed, those genes get a little more watered down with each generation until there's barely anything left. And yes, the kicker is that having kids ages you faster, both mentally and physically!

I use my cousin as an example. She is only about two years older than me, and at some point, she started to age not so well because she visited tanning beds for years. Then she crapped out a kid that I'm fairly certain was not wanted because she found out she was in pig at around 7 months gestation (as an aside, she wasn't fat - how did she not notice sooner??). That kid is now three, I think. My cousin easily looks 10-12 years older than her actual age now. She's 37, but looks like she could be in her late forties or even her early fifties, and not in a good way. Like hard-lived late forties. It's scary how noticeably her face aged.

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bell_flower
It amazes me how many kids are allowed to wail on their parents. The little fuckers are strong too. Better get the upper hand while they are still young.

Absolutely, and it's not even just the awtards who are violent either. It's the totally normal brats who have tard strength too! I've read so, so many instances of Moos whose children cause them noticeable injuries: split lips, broken noses, black eyes, broken glasses, broken fingers, intentionally kicking Moo in the stomach when the brat knows she's pregnant again, slapping them across the face, biting hard enough to break the skin, hair torn out. Why is this acceptable? Why do the parents just sit there and take it? Just because it's their child doesn't mean the behavior shouldn't be fixed. Those brats will be in for a nasty surprise when they pull that shit on the playground and they get hit, bitten, punched, kicked and slapped right back.

I always notice it's the Moos who allow this horse shit to happen too, never the Duhs. Probably because men aren't afraid to verbally or physically reprimand their kids for bad behavior. Unless a guy is a total wimp, he won't sit there and let his kid slap him around. The kids learn to behave for Dad and then wail on Mom and the idiot Moos wonder why.

I often get mistaken for being 10-15 years younger than I am. A few weeks ago I was out with my husband and was the only one that got carded - I’m going to be 40 at the end of this year. Looking at how my mother had aged, I can definitely say it’s not “good genes.” I take decent care of myself, but nothing amazing. I really believe it’s the lack of breeding. Not just the physical aspects of pregnancy, but the ensuing stress that comes from raising a child. Being that stressed out every day takes its toll.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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Cambion
Moo has a horrid autistic (of course) brat who is already the definition of manipulative. Acts like a shit, then does a total 180 to get her own way. Says if she knew what a shitsack her child would become, she would have killed herself when she was still pregnant (she was denied an abortion - by whom, exactly?).

The point of abortion is so women won't want to kill themselves because they won't be saddled to an unwanted infant.

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LoveToLurk
I often get mistaken for being 10-15 years younger than I am. A few weeks ago I was out with my husband and was the only one that got carded - I’m going to be 40 at the end of this year. Looking at how my mother had aged, I can definitely say it’s not “good genes.” I take decent care of myself, but nothing amazing. I really believe it’s the lack of breeding. Not just the physical aspects of pregnancy, but the ensuing stress that comes from raising a child. Being that stressed out every day takes its toll.

Amen.

It's also lack of sleep. The research being done on sleep debt/sleep loss is pretty fascinating. I just learned how much waste disposal the brain does during sleep by flushing it into the cerebrospinal fluid and then the lymphatic system...and how one night of missed sleep causes waste accumulation that will actually affect sleep cycles for days and days after. Parents are sleep deprived for YEARS and YEARS. Imagine how that affects things!!

At my current job (been there about two years) I have routinely been mistaken for about 10 or 12 years younger than I am...and I'm pretty far north of 40! Granted I also have a lot of coworkers who bred too young and paid the price, and maybe they're used to everyone in their family making that choice and thus all being prematurely aged.

And proof that parents do post on the reddit CF forum... but this one is one of the more level headed ones I've seen.... however, she is facing a train wreck in the form of her asshole daughter. I am at the point I am growing weary of all these anxious handwringing females who can't control their own lives.... onward

Worried about my child free daughter

My daughter is in her mid 30’s and is adamantly child free. Let’s call her Jane. She got engaged a few days ago, and we met her future in-laws yesterday, and therein lies the problem. They’re conservative and they’re Jesus freaks, but they’re the kind in which he slaps her butt and says “Babe, that ass!” But I digress. No you don't, they are fucking hypocrites They made several remarks about “the importance of family.” The mom said, “I just think Jane would be such a great mama, don’t you?” I said, “If she wanted to be one, but she doesn’t.” That caused a bit of an awkward moment. But I can tell they’re going to try to pressure her.

Jane has health anxiety, specifically about pregnancy, labor and delivery. And it’s not like that’s an unreasonable fear to have. It will truly damage her mental health. Then she’d have a baby. And babies can get sick but they can’t tell you what’s wrong. That would damage her too.

I try not to interfere in my kids’ lives, since they’re adults. But what should I do here? I don’t want her hag MIL pressuring her into having a baby. Do I say something, or let her deal with it alone? Her fiancée is his parents’ only son, just to make it more annoying.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
And proof that parents do post on the reddit CF forum... but this one is one of the more level headed ones I've seen.... however, she is facing a train wreck in the form of her asshole daughter. I am at the point I am growing weary of all these anxious handwringing females who can't control their own lives.... onward

Worried about my child free daughter

My daughter is in her mid 30’s and is adamantly child free. Let’s call her Jane. She got engaged a few days ago, and we met her future in-laws yesterday, and therein lies the problem. They’re conservative and they’re Jesus freaks, but they’re the kind in which he slaps her butt and says “Babe, that ass!” But I digress. No you don't, they are fucking hypocrites They made several remarks about “the importance of family.” The mom said, “I just think Jane would be such a great mama, don’t you?” I said, “If she wanted to be one, but she doesn’t.” That caused a bit of an awkward moment. But I can tell they’re going to try to pressure her.

Jane has health anxiety, specifically about pregnancy, labor and delivery. And it’s not like that’s an unreasonable fear to have. It will truly damage her mental health. Then she’d have a baby. And babies can get sick but they can’t tell you what’s wrong. That would damage her too.

I try not to interfere in my kids’ lives, since they’re adults. But what should I do here? I don’t want her hag MIL pressuring her into having a baby. Do I say something, or let her deal with it alone? Her fiancée is his parents’ only son, just to make it more annoying.

The harassment will never stop for her to have a baybee. I don't know where her fiance stands but if they are not united and he doesn't put her in higher priority than his dumb bint mother then his fiance is screwed. Hopefully they have a plan and live at least two hours away from his dumb bint famblee.

If that were my daughter or niece, I would have a serious talk with her and advise:

1. She'd better not marry this guy until she has confirmation this guy is not giving the CF life style lip service, only to ramp up the pressure once she is married. MANY guys do this. If he comes from a Fundy background, he likely cannot fathom a marriage without brats anyway. He's been too brainwashed. Marriage has a way of making things more serious. She should also be careful of sex roles. If he grew up seeing Mombie wait on his father hand and foot and being the sole performer of domestic chores, this young woman could be in for something similar.

2. Ideally, "confirmation" would be having the male half of the couple get snipped prior to marriage. The daughter should definitely get snipped prior to marriage to protect herself. She should at least tell the guy that's what she is planning to gauge his reaction. If he gives her ANY pushback whatsoever, she needs to give the ring back and dump the dude immediately.

I always am curious to know why some people will look at someone who is childfree (whether or not they are aware of the person's CF status) and say, "Oh, (name) would be such a great mom/dad!" Why? What is the basis of their logic? Because the person isn't a total piece of shit? Because they're not absolute dicks to child relatives? Because they have a career that even vaguely involves being around kids? In this case, maybe it was also the fiance's parents gauging what they'd be up against in grandloaf territory. Who knows, they may pressure the fiance to end the engagement instead because he's not intending to marry a "nice girl" (translation: a submissive Gawd-fearing woman who will breed frequently and be a housewife).

But yeah, I would probably warn that CF niece to be wary of her fiance because it's very rare for someone from a fundie family to also be childfree. He might just be playing along until he officially marries her and intends to put major pressure on her to breed once he has a ring on her. It's not all that uncommon for people to go along with a childfree partner's wishes until the relationship is made legally binding, and then they do a 180 and decide it's time for babbies. Especially since the fiance is his parents' only child, so I'll bet they'll pressure the niece severely to give them grandshits.

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As far as showing one's age, I've gotten it too. My former manager refused to believe I graduated high school in 2005 because he thought I was about 10 years younger than I really am. The funny thing is I know for a fact I don't get enough sleep because I'm a night owl with a day job, so my stupid ass is up until after 2am and I get up at 7am and wonder why I'm tired by noon . In spite of that, I still don't look my age, so I think it's not just sleep deprivation that makes parents age like milk in July. It's all the combined stress that children cause with sleep deprivation being only one part of the equation.

Sounds to me like it's time to ship Bratleigheee off to Duhddy's house. Moo says she doesn't want to because Duh isn't in the best living situation, but she also says she dislikes her older brat and is happier when she's away from him. Does she not think the kid picks up on this? Send him to live with his father and let Duh deal with the kid's bullshit. If there is another living option for the brat so he can be away from Moo, that might be for the best. Being raised by someone who doesn't like you isn't gonna do anyone involved any favors.

Also, what in the fuck is Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder? Is this the new trendeigh autism diagnosis because too many brats have ADHD and Assburgers and it's no longer "cool" to be diagnosed with it?

I'd legit give up on this kid. Just reading this makes me want to stab something. Maybe the brat is being a big tard baby because he sees his Moo fawning over her new loaf and he figures if he acts like a baby, she'll give him more positive attention? Or it could be that he's just a lazy whiny shit who needs a slap across the head.Clearly something is fucked up if the kid's behavior hasn't improved at all in eight freaking years.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/x1ocxa/i_genuinely_dislike_my_child/

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My oldest child is 11yo and I genuinely from the bottom of my heart dislike them as a person. They have a shitty personality as a whole. Whine and complain about everything, even if it's something they wanted. They could get quite literally everything they asked for an entire day but I got thin crust instead of handtossed pizza and then it's complaints moaning and groaning until bedtime which is another set of tears and moaning and groaning (true story). Everything is a fight. Everything is an argument. Everything is made difficult. If something is the least bit challenging or just simply something they don't want to do they act completely inept like it's rocket science and start talking in high pitched broken English like a toddler. I understand some of this is just angsty pre-teen shit. But I've been around enough kids to know that this goes way beyond that.

Ex: Me - hey bud did you brush your teeth? Them - falls on floor moans Me - yo seriously??? Them - IdK hOw To OpEn ThE tOoThPaStE

I just can't anymore and quite frankly idk how not a single value I've taught them has stuck. How is that possible? I've tried so hard to lead by example for what? I want to give up and just let them go live with their bio dad but i know that it's not the best family situation there. But I'm just so tired of dealing with an 11 yo toddler every fucking day. There's not a single day that there's not SOMETHING that causes them to have a breakdown and I'm just so mentally exhausted. Their personality took a dump around 3yo and since then it's been constant turmoil at school, at home, with other kids, family. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I've done a decent job maintaining my composure throughout the years. But it's just reached a point that I'm happier when they're away from me. I recently had my second child and the love I feel is so overwhelmingly different. I feel so bad because I can tell I greatly favor new baby over them because of all of the bs they've put me through. I've been extra uppity with the 11yo because I don't want them to know I feel that way towards them but sometimes it's so goddamn hard to fake it. Then I think to myself how impressionable babies are...what if they try to act like their older sibling? Omg...lord give me strength. I just want to cry.

Edit for relevant info:

They were diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder, Autism, and ADHD.

and she's too fucking mootarded to let the turd live with bio dad? sux to be her

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I am wondering, but this is slightly off topic but still related to cf...

there has been a notable increase in narcissism over the last 40 years... it has been slowly building since the 50's.. and of course because of breeder fecundity it is growing exponentially imo.. I am thinking that a lot of the problems from breakingmom and other stories is that there are so many narcissists now and they can be damned smart about hiding their proclivities (plus many of these bints don't take the time for the mask to drop...this is the majority of this set) that they breed before they find out they picked a self centered pos... thus producing more. or they are both narcissistic entitled breeder units producing your selfish entitled parents... just something to peruse

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Not breakingmom, but AskReddit, and I wasn't sure if it really warranted its own whole entire separate thread. It's just a list of dumb shit that perfectly normal, non-autistic children have tantrums over. Fucking hell, I don't drink and reading this makes me want to start. No wonder parents' brains turn to mush - anybody's would when their daily routine involves having to console a small human who is screeching blue murder because their french fries are too long or because they didn't get what they didn't want.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t147e2/parents_whats_the_most_ridiculous_reason_your/

I don't know if I ever did some of these things. I just know mom had no tolerance for it and she would just send me to my room because she did not want to deal with it. I think that is the main problem parunts make: give the little bugger an audience.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Quote
twocents
there has been a notable increase in narcissism over the last 40 years... it has been slowly building since the 50's.. and of course because of breeder fecundity it is growing exponentially imo.. I am thinking that a lot of the problems from breakingmom and other stories is that there are so many narcissists now and they can be damned smart about hiding their proclivities (plus many of these bints don't take the time for the mask to drop...this is the majority of this set) that they breed before they find out they picked a self centered pos... thus producing more. or they are both narcissistic entitled breeder units producing your selfish entitled parents... just something to peruse

Narcissism is definitely nurtured, so any narcissistic breeders will have learned that shit from their parents, who learned it from their parents, and so on. I think the one single thing that will prevent a person from turning into a narcissist is awareness. I'll use myself as an example. My mother is a narcissist and she was treated like shit by her own mother (she was definitely the scapegoat child), who was definitely a narcissist from what I remember. I never met my grandma's parents before they passed away, so I don't know what kinds of people they were. I'm messed up emotionally and mentally from how my mother raised me, but I refused to become the same kind of person as her. Not every child of a narcissist parent develops that awareness.

But you're right, narcissism has definitely shot right up and it will continue to do so as children of narcissists continue to make more children who will become narcissists themselves. It's a cycle that's hard to stop.

one of the reasons I should have named this something else.... here is another angst worthy pile

He regrets having his 2nd kid and this is how it ended up

English is not my first language

So, I have posted 2 times about that friend E and Boyfriend A - 36 and 43.

Little sum up : they decided to have a kid 6 months after they met. We felt like she didn't really like him and all she wanted was a kid.

They had their first daughter.

My friend wanted 3 kids but she was already struggling with her boyfriend for a second one.

In fact, after having the first one, he was done with kids. But you could see he was afraid to say it. One day at a BBQ, people were joking with him telling him he should have a second kid and I said "stop with that, he obviously doesn't want to!" And I looked at him and I added "tell them!! ".

He stayed quiet.

They had their second daughter.

--

A year ago, we were on a group walk (it was an activity to raise money) with A and 2 kids. He was YELLING every single seconds at his second daughter. I immediately saw he was less close to her, less patient, not a father but an officer. Something was totally OFF in the relationship. TO THE POINT I said something and asked him to calm down and what was wrong!!

I was like "it's not gonna end up well" But didn't talk about it with E.

6 months ago, they decided to end their relationship. Recently, E told me she is afraid cause A is screaming at 2nd daughter and can not stand her and it goes to a point she is worried. It's going too far. Every single thing she does, he comes at her. This is when she added :

"I know he acts like that cause he didn't want her, but he should have told me!! ".


People, if you don't want kids, DON'T HAVE THEM. This can kill you inside but this can traumatize your kid.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

It's sad, but that's not entirely uncommon. People who have kids they don't want often times will take out their frustration and anger on those children. Which is very unfair because those kids didn't ask to be born, but the unwilling parents will still direct their anger at them, often through neglect and abuse (physical, verbal, emotional and/or mental).

The thing is, would it have even mattered if the guy said outright he didn't want another kid? Because if the woman is hell-bent on having a brat, she will justify birth control sabotage in her mind. Obviously guys are guilty of reproductive coercion as well, but when one half of a couple really wants to breed, they will eventually have no issue tricking the other person into having one because they "deserve" a kid and they see their unwilling partner as nothing more than an obstacle they just have to overcome. Oh and s/he will "love it once it gets here."

If the woman in this story doesn't want her ex to verbally abuse their daughter, she needs to go to court and restrict visitation. Maybe even have him sign away his parental rights. What role is he playing in his child's life aside from giving her a reason to seek therapy in the future? It may only be a matter of time before he escalates to physical abuse too if he's so verbally abusive to the kid that it scares the Moo. Why is she subjecting her daughter to someone who hates her?

Have kids with someone who also wants them. This is not hard! Honestly, what possible good do wanna-breeders think will come out of forcing someone who doesn't want kids (or more kids) into having them? At BEST, they might tolerate the child's existence. A kid deserves to be wanted by both of its parents.

I'm sorry, but a five-year-old with an anxiety disorder? WTF kind of shit parenting is this woman doing that her kid is anxious before it even reaches kindergarten?? Like I understand a kid being a little nervous about starting school and throwing a tantrum because it's an all new place with unfamiliar people and rules that actually have to be followed, but how in the hell does a child this young wind up with a bona-fide medically diagnosed and medicated anxiety disorder?

I'm sure this child will be an absolute treat to deal with. Before the fucking first day of school even starts, Moo is already explaining her child's coping mechanisms with the teachers and counselor so they can be prepared for the incoming shitstorm (and most likely because Moo thinks these people are going to give her brat preferential treatment because of her diagnosis and totally ignore the other 30+ kids in the class).

Also, this child has panic attacks that, according to Moomie, are triggered specifically by unfamiliar situations. I honestly don't know if it would be better to homeschool the kid if she's that fucked in the head, or if "exposure therapy" by means of sticking her in school and making her deal with her shit would be best. I'm still trying to get over the fact a kindergartener has anxiety and that other Moos chime in about their similarly aged children with anxiety. What in the hell are these people doing to their kids to give them anxiety at this age?? Like is that normal?

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/x7btvt/my_child_with_an_anxiety_disorder_starts/

Quote

Basically what the title says. My 5 year old daughter has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and sensory processing issues - and she starts kindergarten tomorrow.

She has been in play therapy for the last year and I've recently ramped up her seeing her therapist in preparation for kindergarten. She is also on anxiety medication. I've discussed her diagnosis and her coping skills with her teacher and the school counselor so they are prepared for her.

She did great and her kindergarten orientation and she is adamant she wants to ride the bus to school. However, I'm terrified that she won't get on. And then what do we do? Even if we then have to drive her to school - she may refuse to go in? And when I say refuse - she will have a full blown panic attack (which can include vomiting). This isn't just a kid throwing a temper tantrum because they don't want to do something or are a little nervous. My daughter has full blown panic attacks - specifically triggered by unfamiliar social situations.

I'm so sick of everyone telling me that she will get used to it, or she will figure it out. No. That's not it. She's not like other neurotypical kids. She will not just fucking figure it out.

I know I can't control this. I know we have prepared her to the best of our ability. I know there is nothing else to be done but I'm so worried the day is going to be an absolute nightmare.

Quote
Cambion
Not breakingmom, but AskReddit, and I wasn't sure if it really warranted its own whole entire separate thread. It's just a list of dumb shit that perfectly normal, non-autistic children have tantrums over. Fucking hell, I don't drink and reading this makes me want to start. No wonder parents' brains turn to mush - anybody's would when their daily routine involves having to console a small human who is screeching blue murder because their french fries are too long or because they didn't get what they didn't want.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t147e2/parents_whats_the_most_ridiculous_reason_your/

I've heard numerous idiots claim they want brats to see the world through the eyes of a chuld again as a reason to breed. The "refreshing" perspective of everything being new and all that jazz. Zero points for originality because it is repeated without any thought of how annoying it will actually be to live with a brat with no life experience or emotional regulation.

This thread shows the reality of seeing the world through the eyes of a chuld on a daily basis. This is proof positive that after about 2 minutes of this on select holidays the reality is that it gets old very very quickly! And that doesn't account for parunts that are impatient and don't want to deal with 2 minutes of this crap anytime, let alone on the holidays.

Once again, some weird Disney troupe that doesn't account for the reality. And de-escalating meltdowns hundreds of times a day would be a nightmare regardless what the cause is (but funny as shit to read about!). The only thing worse thing is ignoring the brat and letting the brat be annoying or grow up with all kinds of irrational fears.

It is annoying enough enduring it in the public from a distance on rare occasions. Count on wanna breeders to not observe this annoyance and be bull-headed about breeding with the flavor of the month and then wonder why they are so miserable.