Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

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Cambion

Just don't fucking celebrate Father's Day if you're so against it. Unlike Moos who sit around waiting for their men to do nice shit for them or buy them things on Mother's Day, men will often go out and wrangle their own fun for Father's Day - grilling, car upgrades, new gaming chair, whatever.

This is exactly it. I don't know why moos feel like someone else has to validate them on their day. Just tell your husband you are leaving to go to the spa for four hours (or whatever) and will be back at whatever time. No drama, just do your thing just like your husband does. No need to wait for anyone to read your mind and deliver the most epic moo day gift ever. No need to be angry and stamp your feet on BM that you didn't get whatever you wanted from your famblee.

The moos are also really upset that others are co-opting their day. It isn't for the mom of pets, the would-be moms that miscarried (be sensitive on your day, some women want a baybee!), or a day for single dads (who are mother and father), or a day some don't celebrate because of their toxic relationship with their mom, or if flowers are handed out to any woman who looks over twenty at a dining establishment or church because she could be a mom.

I think it is kind of silly for the co-opts but also very trivial to make a big deal out of it, stop reading the messages (and feeding the animals) on social media from the co-opts. They try to co-opt everything, because mostly social media is about attention whoring and stealing the thunder of others. Lots of other people share my birthday and that is okay. It doesn't detract from my day in the least.

Here is a strange example of supporting women without brats on Mother's day:

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Strange example quote
Ask her what she wants

The best way to know what your childless friend will want for Mother’s Day is to ask her. Let her be selfish for one day, just like you would with any mother on Mother’s Day. If she wants to take a long bubble bath by herself, let her. If she wants to be recognized like any other mother would (complete with chocolates and flowers), make it happen. If she wants to stay home watching movies, that works too. Her experience and her desires are just as valid as any other woman’s.

I don't think most childless women need anyone to tell them to be selfish for one day. I can attest that I had more than one long bubble bath, watched more than one movie and read more than one book last weekend. The only thing I nurtured was nature, if that counts.

https://intermountainhealthcare.org/blogs/topics/live-well/2018/05/supporting-women-without-children-on-mothers-day/

Not to mention the fact that if nobody is doing anything special for a Moo on Moother's Day of their own free will (like without Moo nudging them about it), maybe Moo isn't doing as good of a job as she thinks she is. Employees at any other job generally are not appreciated unless they go above and beyond, and given how often Moos try to get away from their kids, I'd wager most of them are not going above and beyond. I think it's also a safe bet that out of the ones that do make an effort on Mother's Day, at least a few are only doing it because they know their Moo or Moo-wife will become an absolute bitch if her heinie isn't smooched for a day. How many people would do things for mothers out of genuine desire and appreciation if they didn't have a holiday telling them they had to?

These Moos engage in their petty gatekeeping over who is and is not a "real" mother because they don't want someone laying claim to their job title after not putting in the work to achieve it. But they have no issues at all moaning every May about how much money they should earn for all the "jobs" they do. Like how putting a Band-Aid on an owwie makes them a nurse, or how feeding their brats chicken nuggets makes them a chef. They hate it when other people refer to themselves as "moms" of dogs or cats, but they're sure fine with waving professional flags they didn't earn. I act like a requirement for motherhood isn't being completely full of shit all the time.

I don't see the issue here. Moo and Duh attend a play group with their four-month-old loaf and someone's free-range toddler lobs a wooden block right in the loaf's face, which makes it cry. The author Moo says nothing, the toadler's owner says nothing, but Duh bitches out the toadler for throwing shit at his kid. The toddler's owner got mad that someone corrected her precious lumpkin's "cute" behavior, and the Moo author got mad that he yelled at someone else's kid. They got thrown out of the play group because the other mommies feel "unsafe" with him there.

I'll bet getting clocked in the face with a piece of wood hurts, even if it's thrown by a weak-ass toadler. And if a corner of said block were to hit the poor kid in the eye, that could result in vision damage. The toadler's Moo couldn't be arsed to watch the little fuckwaffle, so I think the Duh here was justified in giving the little brat an earful. He has apologized to Moo, but it's probably because he knows he's in the dog house.

But nope, according to the Moo comments - written by people who are all professional therapists, I'm SURE - Duh was horrible, an asshole, excessively angry, needs to apologize, and this was a learning experience that he needs to learn from. Umm, no? How about it's a learning experience for the toddler where he gets his ass beat for assaulting someone's infant? What the fuck kind of fucked up brat zeroes in on an infant and intentionally hits it in the face? I think Moo is just mad because she saw this as an opportunity to make some mommy friends and Duh blew it by yelling at someone else's brat. I've met moms, trust me, this woman is not missing out on anything by not making mommy friends.

She says he never lost it like that before. Could it be that maaaaybe he's a rare male that cares enough about his own sprog that it angers him when he sees someone else hurting it? Is he just supposed to be okay with someone hitting his loaf in the face? Parent your fucking brats if you don't want someone else doing it for you, breeders!

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/vhkwwh/my_husband_yelled_someone_elses_child_and_im_so/

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We were at a playgroup with our four month old. Most of the kids there were two or younger. This has been something I’ve wanted to do for a long time because I really want to make more mom friends. Long story short another women’s toddler threw a wooden block at our four month daughters face while I was on the floor with her playing.

Our daughter immediately started crying, and I picked her up and began to comfort her away from the group. Don’t get me wrong I saw red, but I know it’s developmentally normal and that it’s not my place to discipline other peoples children. My husband on the other hand starts to yell at the little boy. Asking him what’s wrong with him? And tells him to watch what happens if he does it again. The mom of this child looked mortified, she gave us a dirty look, and picked her son up and left.

Everyone avoided us for the rest of the time. We’ve been home a couple hours and I just received an email from the director saying we are not welcomed back because my husbands behavior made people feel unsafe. Not that I would want to go back after how humiliating that was.. But I don’t even know what to do? My husband has never lashed out like that before and especially never to a child. He keeps apologizing and I can tell he feels bad. But fuck. What now?

How are kids supposed to learn to behave right if nobody ever reacts negatively to their brat-ass behavior (or anyone who does is immediately shouted down and cancelled)?

So the very first time she takes her child to a playgroup it gets smacked in the face with a wooden block, nobody does anything about it, and she actually wants to go back?

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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The best way to know what your childless friend will want for Mother’s Day is to ask her. Let her be selfish for one day, just like you would with any mother on Mother’s Day. If she wants to take a long bubble bath by herself, let her. If she wants to be recognized like any other mother would (complete with chocolates and flowers), make it happen. If she wants to stay home watching movies, that works too. Her experience and her desires are just as valid as any other woman’s.

Wow, like Thanks but I don't need your validation? Do you really need to tell people that someone without kids has experiences and desires that are also valid?? I certainly don't need a "special day" if I want to treat myself, I do whatever I want in my time off, minus minimal adulting.

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LoveToLurk
So the very first time she takes her child to a playgroup it gets smacked in the face with a wooden block, nobody does anything about it, and she actually wants to go back?

While I think the duh overreacted a response of some kind is justified. If nothing else moo could have moved her toadler and told the toadler not to throw things in people's faces. A toadler understands "no".

I have no idea why they would want to go back after the way they were treated. The duh overreacting doesn't give the playgroup the right to also overreact. They would be much better off without this particular playgroup and better to learn sooner rather than later.

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Ketchup

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The best way to know what your childless friend will want for Mother’s Day is to ask her. Let her be selfish for one day, just like you would with any mother on Mother’s Day. If she wants to take a long bubble bath by herself, let her. If she wants to be recognized like any other mother would (complete with chocolates and flowers), make it happen. If she wants to stay home watching movies, that works too. Her experience and her desires are just as valid as any other woman’s.

Wow, like Thanks but I don't need your validation? Do you really need to tell people that someone without kids has experiences and desires that are also valid?? I certainly don't need a "special day" if I want to treat myself, I do whatever I want in my time off, minus minimal adulting.

It is kind of odd. I understand we all will have days where we don't have time to treat ourselves but can you imagine settling for having one or a few "special days" a year? Nothing is stopping moos from demanding better for themselves except their weird perception that somehow everyone else but them can make the demands. Get the adult stuff out of the way so the fun can happen-said one childfree to the other.

This is from Quora...

As a lawyer, what's the most mind-blowing thing you've heard your client say?

Minutes before a child welfare hearing I noticed my client, the mother was acting a little…strange. We were in the courtroom and she was all over the place and kept chuckling to herself. I asked her if she had taken anything. She nodded, smiled, leaned over to me and in a loud stage whisper said :"I just smoked a little crack", then burst out laughing!

EDIT: My client in this case of course did not do well in the hearing. Loudly admitting to cocaine abuse in front of a judge is never a good idea. This was perhaps one of the most “mind-blowing” things a client ever said to me, largely because we were in court at the time. I could not talk to her beforehand because she arrived literally seconds before the case was called else I would have sent her home.

Thinking about it, though, the most shocking thing a client has ever said came from a child. I spent years representing children. I had a seven-year-old client who had been systemically starved and beaten by her mother. When I interviewed this little girl I asked her one of my standard child interview questions, that is “What are you going to do when you grow up?” This is the point where children will generally tell their dream of being a famous singer, of playing professional ball or of being President of the United States. This girl smiled and said brightly “when I grow up I am going to kill mommy”. I asked her to repeat herself and she did. The most shocking part of it was that she knew exactly what she was saying, exactly what it meant, and that was what she dreamed of doing.

and there you have it. and you know, if this girl managed to do that I doubt I'd shed a tear if I knew the background.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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As a huge sex addict, playboy and womanizer (left him because of him admitting to cheating sexually on me with at least 5 women in our time together) and his refusal to wear condoms,
I give it about a year before he gets someone else pregnant. Maybe more than one woman pregnant.
He struggles financially as his only form of income is Doordash and I have a hard enough time getting child support from him as it is. He’s always broke.
His dad begrudgingly pays his rent and car bills and said this last month was the last straw.

She talks about how she is the breadwinner, so exactly what did he do other than contributing sperm?
Maybe that is why he likes Doordash, perhaps he enjoys delivering more than food to the women who answer the door. She thought his having her name tattooed on him would keep other women from sleeping with him. All he has to do is to claim it is his mother or sister's name.

Is it in any way surprising that a child that is regularly abused has dreams of growing up to eliminate the person that has mistreated them their whole lives? I wouldn't feel the least bit sorry for the Moo if the girl wound up living her dreams in a few years either. You can only hurt someone so much before they can't take it anymore and they react. It's just like kicking a dog - they might just sit there and take it for a while, but one day they're going to lash out and it won't be pretty. Kids are easy abuse targets, but I bet a lot of these scum wouldn't pick on someone who could fight back or escape.

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I saw that post about Mr. Playboy too. LOL that's cute that Moo thinks that having her name inked on him means other women will leave him alone. That's grade school logic - "hurrr if I write my name on my pencil case, nobody will steal it!" He could say she's an ex, or I bet a lot of the women he fucks don't really give a crap - he could be telling them he got it done when he was drunk and he's saving up to get it lasered off.

Why does she care who the guy fucks and knocks up? Sounds like she's not getting much from the idiot in brat support anyway. In one breath she says they'll be fucked if he has another kid with another woman, but then in another breath, she says she doesn't desperately need his money. So which is it? Sounds like he's never going to be financially stable, and any pre-menopausal woman not being responsible for her own contraception right now is a fucking moron. And if she thinks the baby daddy won't just quit working to avoid child support for too many brats, she's gonna be in for a surprise.

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twocents
This is from Quora...

As a lawyer, what's the most mind-blowing thing you've heard your client say?

Thinking about it, though, the most shocking thing a client has ever said came from a child. I spent years representing children. I had a seven-year-old client who had been systemically starved and beaten by her mother. When I interviewed this little girl I asked her one of my standard child interview questions, that is “What are you going to do when you grow up?” This is the point where children will generally tell their dream of being a famous singer, of playing professional ball or of being President of the United States. This girl smiled and said brightly “when I grow up I am going to kill mommy”. I asked her to repeat herself and she did. The most shocking part of it was that she knew exactly what she was saying, exactly what it meant, and that was what she dreamed of doing.

and there you have it. and you know, if this girl managed to do that I doubt I'd shed a tear if I knew the background.

This is really sad, hopefully this little girl has a better home with someone else now.

Apparently there is a trend now where you call the parent who is on the receiving end of a child's spoiled screaming tantrums a "safe space." I guess the logic is if the child feels comfortable enough to act like a shit at home or with a particular parent, it means they feel safe in their home and/or with that person. If you are the "safe" parent, you should consider it a compliment when your child feels comfortable enough with you to screech in your face, hit you, blatantly disobey you and so on.

Sounds like another excuse to not discipline your brats. After all, you can't possibly want to spank them or put them in time out or be upset by their shit behavior when you are their safe space, right?? I mean kids shouldn't be downright afraid of their parents, but they also shouldn't be able to treat their parents like garbage and get away with it. Home can be your safe space, but that doesn't mean there are no rules. Twenty years ago, I would have said school is a safe space too, but mmmmyeah not when there's a good chance someone with an assault rifle will charge in and blow away an entire classroom on any given day.

Even parents aren't typically a safe space. How many of us in childhood had a parent say, "If you tell me the truth, I won't get mad" and then you tell the truth and get in trouble? All that taught me was I could never ever be honest with my parents.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/w35igu/i_hate_this_safe_place_narrative/

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Who started this idea that as the parent who your kids treat terribly is actually a good thing because it means you're their safe place to fall apart?

It is not comforting to me. I don't feel special or chosen. I don't want to be screamed at daily by my 3 and 5 y.o.s because they aren't emotionally mature enough to recognize what they're actually mad at. I don't want to be trying to take a shit and suddenly crying children need me to soothe them. I don't want to be the parent who can't take them in public because they're always falling apart.

It feels misogynistic to have this new trendy label, twisting a big emotional burden into something mothers should be grateful for. I am not grateful. I have my own issues that get triggered by this. I am tired and everyday I feel like a failure that I am not happy about my kids feeling fine enough to lose it with me.

I think this is a combo of summer break, kids sleep issues, their ages, and my own inner turmoil. I hate it.

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BM
Who started this idea that as the parent who your kids treat terribly is actually a good thing because it means you're their safe place to fall apart?

It is not comforting to me. I don't feel special or chosen. I don't want to be screamed at daily by my 3 and 5 y.o.s because they aren't emotionally mature enough to recognize what they're actually mad at.

Isn't this exactly what parunting is, in a nutshell? Being around/responsible for a brat(s) who isn't physically or emotionally mature until he/she hits 18? Dealing with all those various stages of immaturity in order to do TMIJITW?

Every time I read about parunts not wanting to be around their brats I'm so thankful that I'm childfree and can find time nearly every day to recharge by myself. At what point do we refer to parunts as zombies because they all act the same, gripe about the same shit and rinse and repeat? How dead do they have to be to not observe the collective misery of parunts when they are kids? Perhaps they couldn't take reality as a kid and the filament just burned out and they ran with the whole biological clock nonsense/permashame will be foisted upon you if no brats are produced. Don't overlook the power of the permashame! Parunts are being much more honest about their misery and still most sluice because they think it will be different when it is their brat or they fall for some other ridiculous platitude about parunting.

And aside from TV (commercials and escapism), movies (commercials and escapism), Disney, and politicians pandering for votes who ever said a damn thing about a parunt being special or chosen? Any cockroach can breed. Anyone selling something figures out quickly who is the easiest to manipulate.

What freya said.

Isn't it great to read these pages where someone says, "let your (usually worthless) husband take the kids for an hour so you can have some 'Me time' once every couple of weeks. You'll feel so great when you can go to Starbucks and buy a coffee like an adult!"

I would want to put a bullet in my head if all I had was an hour to myself every couple of weeks, and I had a bribe some Giant Man Baby with sex or favors just to get him to watch his own kid. (99% of the women bitching on Reddit are married to worthless losers, but I've seen seemingly even 'good guys' turn worthless in the parunting department after the kid gets there.)

You need to go somewhere as a CF person? Grab your keys or bike and go. No massive preparation with brats: no screaming, no 'negotiating' with them to get them dressed and into the fucking car. No pulling them away from the TV or toy or whatever stupid thing they want to do at the moment. No tantrums, no car seat wrangling.

Step into your clean-as-you-want-it car that doesn't have the sour-milk smell that pollutes every place where loaves congregate. No lugging along a big-as-a-submarine Mommy bag with every permutation of snacks imaginable because doG forbid your kid would have to go somewhere without being fed and watered every 30 minutes. No worrying about carrying diapers to catch the contents of an incontinent person's ass. Your mind is free from all that.

You can actually have time to think in your own car that you paid for. Seriously, I do some of my best thinking in my clean and scream-free car with only a little music in the background.

And that's just going out in your car. That doesn't even include going home to your quiet, kid-free place. Would it be horrible to have your home trashed 24/7 by something that you had to pay attention to, or someone would call CPS?

As stated above, my alone time has made me what I am today, a sane and functioning person who is not on the verge of a mental breakdown because I'm trying to be SuperMommy. I was never trying to be anything really, other than working to be financially secure, which is easier because you-know-why. Because I don't have brats, I'm not dealing with societal expectations. I can be whatever I want to be**.

**I am home free because I don't have a uterus, and I was sterilized before that. I truly feel bad for young women now, growing up in the age of the Forced Birthers.

Plus the whole "leave the kids with your husband and let him figure it out" thing usually has consequences. Moo leaves Duh in charge of his own brats for an hour or two to get a break and she comes home to find the house in ruins, the kids screaming bloody murder and filthy and most likely on a sugar high because Duh gave them all soda and cereal for dinner and Duh guilt-tripping her for "abandoning" him. Or if the child is still very young, Duh will neglect to feed it, bathe it or change it because that's Moo's job. She gets to come home to a screaming, uncomfortable, hungry, piss-soaked brat that somehow managed to put every single spice jar down the toilet that's on a whole different floor of the house because Duh was busy playing video games.

So sometimes these women will just decide that it's not worth the cleanup effort afterward to get an hour of peace because their man-babies can't be trusted alone with their own brats. Exposure therapy tends to not work on man-babies because they have no issues whatsoever neglecting their kids.

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And absolutely, one of the MANY reasons I am CF is the ability to do what I want, when I want, sometimes with minimal to no planning. With kids, it's a two-hour affair just getting the little shits fully dressed and in the car, and odds are at least three compromises will have been made between the announcement of "we're leaving" and the brats being loaded into the family truckster (like "I'll buy you ice cream if you put your shoes on"). More screaming when any of the kids has to be strapped into their car seat, even though they never had a problem with it before. If there is more than one child in the backseat, they will be punching one another and fighting the whole time. Someone will inevitably cry about stupid shit like they don't like how their socks feel, or one of the potty-trained children will say they need to go potty as they are pissing into the seat, and after they INSISTED in the house they didn't need to go and threw a tantrum when they were told to go try and go anyway.

All this just to drive two blocks to the grocery store, where, once you enter the store, the kids all dart off in different directions and each of them brings back an armful of shit they "need" and when you tell them you won't buy any of it, there will be window-shaking tantrums, complete with brats throwing themselves on the floor, kicking and screaming, hyperventilating, completely unnecessary drama, and at least one of them telling you they hate you, you don't love them, you're the worst mommy ever, etc. You have to decide then and there if you'll persevere through the nasty glares from other shoppers so your family can eat for the next week, or if you need to abandon your cart and decide if all of you can subsist on takeout and canned soup for the next seven days.

I went to the store at 11:30 at night last Friday for cake ingredients because I felt like making a cake at 2am (drugs were not involved, I'm just a night owl).

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I don't know if I'm just lazy or an introvert or what, but I need a lot of down time to recharge after work. I couldn't imagine having horrible brats at home and hating my life to the point where work was my sanctuary from all the screaming and the chaos. Many parents are thrilled to go back to work because it means escaping their kids for a few hours. And the only screaming in my vehicle is from the occasional metal that I have at near eardrum-rupturing volume.

Some days I take those things for granted, but sometimes I think about the morons who willingly ruined their lives and their peace with screaming kids and I take an extra moment to thoroughly enjoy my ability to be a bum after work, my car that is blissfully free of food crumbs and bodily fluids, and my ability to run off and do stuff on a whim because I feel like it.

SHUT UP FREETARDS! Love, Moo.

I could turn this around and say the same exact thing about breeders. You're not special. You're literally just a person with children. Good for you? You're not better than someone who chose not to have them. You're the most annoying type of person with your "WhO wIlL tAkE cArE oF YoU wHeN yOu GeT oLd??" and your "you never know true love until you have babies." You were a baby at one point, you idiot. You're worse than a whiny baby. You're a whiny grown ass adult. Hating a childfree person for literally just existing (which they have no control over) is fucking weird.

Oh, but see it's totally cool to hate on CFers because we're all just immature children who never want to grow up and we deserve to be made fun of for shirking our adult responsibility to reproduce. But hating on mommies is meeeeeean because they're doing the most important job in the worrrrrrld and they're so mature and special.

Although we are apparently equal opportunity breeder haters! Seems a lot of the Moos there think childfree people only refer to mothers as breeders and not fathers, but we use the term here to refer to breeders of either gender. We even give bad fathers their own term!

I always love the "you were a baby/child once too!" bingo. Yeah... and?? Just because I used to be something against my will doesn't mean I have to like when others are the same thing. I used to be Catholic too, doesn't mean I support all the child molestation and money-grubbing and bullshit that goes on in the church. Yes I used to be a baby, that doesn't mean I have to like it as an adult when the freshly-shat cunt maggot two feet away from me has been screeching nonstop like the fucking Nazgul for 45 minutes.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/w41roo/vent_dear_childfree_people_shut_up_about_being/

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You're not special. You're literally just a person without children. Good for you? You're not better than someone who chose to have them. You're the most annoying type of person with your "eW cRoTcH gObLiN" "babies are so GROSS". YOU were also a disgusting baby at one point you idiot. You're worse than a whiny baby. You're a whiny grown ass adult. Hating a baby for literally just existing (which they have no control over) is fucking weird.

Ugh. Do any moms agree?

I used to be a baby and then a child and guess what? Thinking people take action to insure you’re never around one again. It’s called birth control and avoiding kids. It takes a certain amount of determination, but it’s woooooorth it.

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You're not special. You're literally just a person without children. Good for you? You're not better than someone who chose to have them. You're the most annoying type of person with your "eW cRoTcH gObLiN" "babies are so GROSS". YOU were also a disgusting baby at one point you idiot. You're worse than a whiny baby. You're a whiny grown ass adult. Hating a baby for literally just existing (which they have no control over) is fucking weird.

Ugh. Do any moms agree?

I find the comments on this very interesting. All these BM who are typically whining get very positive and act as if they are thrilled to death with their circumstances, not there because they are miserable. All the sudden these parunts can't believe anyone could hate a brat and they go and on about what on earth a meany childfree person could have against brats. They aren't "just existing" with their brats as one poster claims, they actively sought out a place to whine about their brats and misery. And there is always tons of new content on BM, as this 42 page thread will attest to.

First of all, I don't hate brats. Not wanting to be around then is not the same thing as hating them. And better to be childfree and not want to be around brats than to be a parunt who vents at BM and is soo miserable because she doesn't want to be around her brats.

I don't find anything remotely interesting or compelling about tiny people who can't articulate their needs outside of crying, are incontinent for years, puke/spit up on a regular basis and require a full time salary for bratcare expenses.
Most aren't capable of a remotely intelligent conversation until they are at least 14-15 years old, if ever.
Brats bored me when I was a little kid and if anything, I'm more bored by the mere thought of them.

Also, claiming the child-free spend lots of time online complaining about brats or whatever? I hardly call the two hours or less a week I spend her lots of time but perhaps for a parunt that is all their free time each week. I have two or more hours of free time most days.

And most of the behavior of brats that I hate has lots to do with the lack of parenting and bad parunts trying to normalize brat behavior, so if I despise anyone, it is the parunts.

Moo stays as a guest with a childfree couple and after she gets a glimpse into the CF life, realizes she done fucked up having kids.

This life could be yours too, Moos, for the low low asking price of fucking thinking about breeding before doing it.

Many of the Moos in the comments say that it may not be so much having kids that sucks balls, but having kids with the wrong partner. It seems like a lot of them don't know how to pick someone competent to co-parent with, and that is definitely a "them" problem. Why do they pick such pieces of garbage and feel they are marriage-worthy and parenting-worthy? How much thought do they put into breeding with their partner before getting up the duff?

There are plenty of men who are all gung-ho about being fathers who swear up and down they're gonna be devoted Duhddies to convince Moo to sluice his spawn, and then once the crotch maggot hatches, they become glued to their computer chairs and have precisely fuck all to do with their waifs.

But that pendulum might swing both ways. Maybe some men would be more committed parents if they bred with women who don't suck? But that's a whole other topic of discussion, I'm sure. But I'm sure there are cases where two people can be compatible as spouses, but incompatible as parents, and there may be no way to know that until after you've bred. Oh sure, you could watch someone's loaf for a weekend to get an idea of what it will be like, but both wanna-breeders will just excuse any bad behavior as, "Oh but OUR baby won't be like this!"

Best solution is to just not breed!

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/wcuu9b/i_got_a_glimpse_into_life_without_kids_and_i_made/

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Last week, I attended a friend’s wedding four hours away from where I live. My husband refused to come with me, but he also refused to look after the kids. So my three kids are staying with my mother in law and my husband gets a weekend to himself.

Because of course he does.

My sister, who I rarely speak to, stays 20 minutes away from the wedding and so she let me stay with her for the weekend.

So for the weekend, I stayed with my sister, her fiancé and their three Yorkshire terriers. They don’t have kids. They don’t want kids. My sister is actually trying to get sterilised and her fiancé has already had a vasectomy. They both have high paying jobs and have bought a penthouse apartment for them and their dogs.

The wedding was on Saturday. On Sunday, I woke up to her fiancé making breakfast, which he apparently does every sunday. I watched as my sister hugged from behind and kissed his cheek and he dipped one of the strawberries he was cutting in Nutella just to be able to turn around and hand feed it to her.

I’m happy for my sister. And I’m grateful she let me stay with her.

But it just.... I made the wrong choice. I married the wrong man. I chose the wrong career. And I should never have had kids. There’s no way around it.

I know I can’t change anything. And I will always look after my kids. But it just hurts so much to see the life I should have chosen right in front of me.

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Last week, I attended a friend’s wedding four hours away from where I live.

My sister, who I rarely speak to, stays 20 minutes away from the wedding and so she let me stay with her for the weekend.

Her and her husband sound like they have a wonderful life.
Her sister likely doesn't talk with her because even the most patient and understanding person on this earth can only take so much paruntal whinging/regret/drama whatever. I'm also confident her sister is 100% aware of the fact that she is insanely jealous of her.

Any conversation can be result into a "your biological clock is ticking" then the segue from the most random topics (recent thriller movie, a new book you're reading, an insect you discovered in your yard, etc.) make them think of their brats, who they dearly miss after being apart for a whopping .5 hour, then there are the continuous reminders of how great it must be to have no kids. Instead of replying to the conversation mahm asks if you think the brats miss their mahm like she misses them? And looks at her phone repeatedly for the time and to check for missed calls/texts from her brats because lard knows those brats can't pretend to entertain themselves for 30 minutes without panic dialing mahm. She has trained them to be that way, after all. Then she shows you photos of them, or worse yet, tries to get you to talk to her brats if they call.

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But it just.... I made the wrong choice. I married the wrong man. I chose the wrong career. And I should never have had kids. There’s no way around it.

I know I can’t change anything. And I will always look after my kids. But it just hurts so much to see the life I should have chosen right in front of me.

Try remembering this the next time some impressionable person asks about having baybees and don't lie if you reply. This is the decent thing to do. There is no need to spew crap everywhere just because you allowed yourself to be hoodwinked.

There are so many replies to this thread by mahms who have such wonderful husbands who contribute. This isn't the first time these mahms with perfect husbands have surfaced on BM. I guess they're on BM because they can't stand their kids, what else is left?

I'm surprised nobody has told the Moos with wonderful, devoted husbands to fuck off because it seems the majority of married hetero Moos there all have useless man-babies as spouses and I'm sure they don't want to hear about someone else's decent partner when theirs sucks.

You're probably right, freya - I have a feeling the Moo author rarely speaks to her CF sister because the sister doesn't want to hear a constant stream of verbal diarrhea about how horrible parenthood is. Or maybe the author doesn't want to hear about all the fun things her sister and sister's fiance are doing because they have no brats weighing them down. Moo probably can't even have two minutes to herself to take a shit without a screechling slapping the door and sobbing, but her sister will talk about how her and her partner went off on a spontaneous trip to the rainforest because they felt like it. Or hell, maybe they just slept in until 2pm with the dogs and then did nothing all day but have sex and binge watch Scrubs. I'm sure the classic It Must Be Nice^TM gets thrown around a lot by the bitter Moo.

And yes, conversations with breeders are boring as hell because no matter what you talk about, EVERY single fucking subject can be redirected right back to the breeder's sproggen somehow. It's because they have absolutely no life outside their brats, so their damn kids are their only conversation topic. To the surprise of nobody except the breeder, the only person who will care about this subject matter is the breeders themselves. They can't relate to people with hobbies, spare time, disposable income, or peace and quiet.

Some of the comments in that post tried to frame it as "well, they just got married and you only saw a single weekend." As if it's inevitable that phase is just a phase and will end. How will they frame it if OP goes to visit 20 years from now and they're still freely affectionate with the husband making breakfast on Sundays?

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

This is sorta off topic, but the "I regret having children" group on FB is 100% daily validation of the stupidity that is Breeders.

Here is a recent entry. Brain Go Boom. My editorial comments in red.

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I regret having children. I had an unhappy childhood and was determined to create a happy family and be the mom I wish I had.

Mistake #1. The worst parents had unhappy childhoods themselves, and yet they are always DETERMINED to have children. Without therapy, introspection, and taking time to get one's shit together, they are doomed to fail.

I was attentive. I adored them, protected them, advocated for them. I rarely had any break from caregiving because my family of origin sucks.

Their dad was abusive and at one point, the cops referred us to a DV shelter so I could keep me and my 2 kids safe.

Um, you can "adore" your kids all you want, but the best way to "protect" and "advocate" for them is NOT TO MARRY AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLOE.

I held the family together (big mistake) and thought I was holding him accountable (at least I made him keep a job that drug tested him).
Was no longer afraid of physical threat, but guy was still controlling and I divorced him after 13 years because I had concerns he was treating our kids like he treated me.
The kids aligned with him to mob me out of my own home, and out of their lives. He gives them everything they want and upholds no rules. There's no reasonable legal solution for me because they're old enough that there's no guarantee I'll have visitation.
Their dad will not comply with legal orders anyway (or I wouldn't be in this situation). My kids have no loyalty to me, there's nothing left but pain. I have sucked it up and tried to keep connecting for 4 years now.
If I could have foreseen that I would struggle alone and nurture them while denying my own needs (like the struggle of taking them to the bus when I suffered a miscarriage with no medical attention from their dad), to be shut out of their lives and rejected like this, I would not have had them. What a martyr Moo who is trying to be dramatic. If you are having a miscarriage, go to the doctor, not your husband. Make him take the kids to the bus stop. Oh, I forgot, you married a loser.
For all my best efforts at trying to instill good values, they're evil like their dad. I tried the best with the resources and conditions I had, and totally failed

Wow, what a Bitter Moo. It seems to me you cannot instill "good values" in your kids when you unable to uphold them yourself, as in: don't marry a loser, don't stay with a loser. The excuses are strong with this one. She apparently thinks his having a job that drug tested him was enough to make him a good dad. Obviously, it was not.

I also suspect there is much more to the story than meets the eye. Most kids want to live with their mothers. The fact that all her kids choose not to seems to indicate there are other factors in play.

Oh, and cut the martyr routine. Nobody held a gun to your head and said "fuck." YOU decided to have these kids because you wanted to heal your own childhood.

Have some accountability.