Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 09, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 13, 2022 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,274 |
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“Passionate, career-driven police officer turned bitter, borderline suicidal SAHM in the matter of three years.
I just found this page and I have been reading through posts for hours, and I thought I would share my experience and why I regret becoming a parent.
I joined the police academy as soon as I turned 18. I knew I had wanted to be an officer since I was in middle school. I was young and athletic with a desire to help people. I’m an adrenaline junkie and live for action. It seemed to be the perfect career path, and I was absolutely right.
Within two years, I was a licensed police officer in the state of Michigan. And wow, saying that my family and I were proud would be an understatement. I passed all of the qualifications, and I began shadowing officers in my precinct. I fell in love with the job. I dedicated every last waking moment to bettering myself physically, mentally and spiritually. The first time I drove my very own squad car with my partner was like being high on the best drug imaginable. It’s almost indescribable, and I miss it everyday.
Not only was I a damn good rookie, I made fast friends with the more seasoned officers, male and female. We would bar crawl, golf, workout at the gym, go out to eat, white water raft, hike, etc. You name it, and we did it together. I worked my way up over the course of seven years to genuinely being respected and well liked in my community, which was a feeling that I never knew before. I was *nothing* before my career.
Back track to four years ago, and this is when I met my husband through one of my officer friends.
My husband is an engineer and a little older than I am. At the time, I was 27 and *kind of* looking to settle down. Everyone in the force was getting married or had been married for awhile. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, but it just happened. He checked off all of my boxes, and I checked off all of his boxes. Everything was happy and fun and new. **However, everything always seems perfect in the honeymoon phase.**
We got married after exactly a year of dating, which looking back, was too fast. He made sure to not include any of my officer friends, which were basically family at that point, in the wedding. He even made every excuse in the book why I shouldn’t invite them to the wedding, even though our good friend, “James”, introduced us. I invited them all anyways. He controlled every aspect of the wedding, down to the silverware and flower arrangements. I’m not a materialistic person, so I let him have the reigns. He shot down my insistent wishes to honeymoon in France, where I even had family that we could stay with to save money. We honeymooned in Hawaii, even though I had already been twice and was three times as expensive. I’m still bitter as fuck about this, because now it will be insanely difficult to travel to Europe with our son. Another missed opportunity.
He pushed me for a baby right away. When I say pushed, I mean he pretty much begged me to have a child. He was 36 and ready for a “real” family. He guilt tripped me almost every day, saying that he wouldn’t be complete without a child and that he was running out of time. He would buy me expensive gifts and sugarcoat how amazing motherhood and having our own family would be.
Meanwhile, I was THRIVING in my career. I had recently gotten an award, and I would attend banquets that my husband enjoyed. I had gotten a significant raise that I had asked for. Life was good for me. I didn’t want a baby. I didn’t want a baby AT ALL.
I’m a stupid and naive pushover. Let’s just call a spade a spade. Why I let him cum in me, I’ll never know. I didn’t think I would get pregnant that quickly. Yes, you guessed it. I got pregnant after being married for six months. I highly suspect he would poke holes in the condoms too, but he will never admit to it.
Blah, blah, blah. Everyone was happy for us, of course. In my head, I was sure life would return to normal after my son was born. It did not return to normal.
I agreed to stay at home for a year to breastfeed. I thought that was a reasonable amount of time to get back into shape and find childcare. I had put on probably 40 pounds and needed to tone back up. However, I struggled and am still struggling to lose weight. Pregnancy completely changed my metabolism, so just add that to the list of regrets. I fucking hate my body.
A year went by and **I felt it**. It was the hardest year of my life just sitting in the house with a baby that I truly didn’t want. I yearned to get back into the action of my exciting career. My friends in the force were begging me to come back as well. I guess they missed me a little bit.
My husband had every excuse in the book why I couldn’t go back to work:
•I’m too fat now.
•I would cheat on him with the male officers.
•I’m selfish for wanting a career, and this is my life now.
•I would be a bad mom for risking my life to make a paycheck.
•Childcare is too expensive, even though I offered to pay for it.
•He would divorce me and take our son if I went back to work.
•He was threatened by my career. (I shit you not!)
*IF YOU WERE THREATENED BY MY CAREER, THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MARRY ME?* Can anyone explain this to me?
It’s been three years, and I’m still sitting at home. I really don’t know how it happened, and I realize how dumb that sounds. Life is continuing to pass me by. Everyday is so bland and colorless. It’s been so long that I forgot what my life was like before I had my son. I don’t feel a bond with him to this day. Even though it was my fault too, I blame my husband for this.
His life remains largely unchanged. He goes to work everyday, and has actually excelled leaps and bounds in his career since I gave birth. He has gotten several raises. He lost 30 pounds, which must be nice to actually have the time and energy to work out. I’m too depressed to work out or do anything but sit in the house. I have lost all zest for life. Even if I decide to go back to my career, it would take an ENORMOUS amount of effort to get back into peak physical shape, let alone peak mental shape. I don’t even think it’s possible at this point.
My friends and family are supportive, but they have their own lives and families to take care of instead of worrying about me. They’ll watch my son, but the time away is NEVER enough. I would almost rather not have any time away than get a taste of the freedom and autonomy that was stripped from me.
I suppose that’s it. Don’t be me.”
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 13, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,802 |
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former career sad moo
We got married after exactly a year of dating, which looking back, was too fast.
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former career sad moo
He made sure to not include any of my officer friends, which were basically family at that point, in the wedding. He even made every excuse in the book why I shouldn’t invite them to the wedding, even though our good friend, “James”, introduced us. I invited them all anyways. He controlled every aspect of the wedding, down to the silverware and flower arrangements. I’m not a materialistic person, so I let him have the reigns. He shot down my insistent wishes to honeymoon in France, where I even had family that we could stay with to save money. We honeymooned in Hawaii, even though I had already been twice and was three times as expensive. I’m still bitter as fuck about this, because now it will be insanely difficult to travel to Europe with our son. Another missed opportunity.
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former career sad moo
He pushed me for a baby right away. When I say pushed, I mean he pretty much begged me to have a child. He was 36 and ready for a “real” family. He guilt tripped me almost every day, saying that he wouldn’t be complete without a child and that he was running out of time. He would buy me expensive gifts and sugarcoat how amazing motherhood and having our own family would be.
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former career sad moo
Pregnancy completely changed my metabolism, so just add that to the list of regrets. I fucking hate my body.
A year went by and **I felt it**. It was the hardest year of my life just sitting in the house with a baby that I truly didn’t want. I yearned to get back into the action of my exciting career. My friends in the force were begging me to come back as well. I guess they missed me a little bit.
My husband had every excuse in the book why I couldn’t go back to work:
•I’m too fat now.
•I would cheat on him with the male officers.
•I’m selfish for wanting a career, and this is my life now.
•I would be a bad mom for risking my life to make a paycheck.
•Childcare is too expensive, even though I offered to pay for it.
•He would divorce me and take our son if I went back to work.
•He was threatened by my career. (I shit you not!)
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former career sad moo
*IF YOU WERE THREATENED BY MY CAREER, THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MARRY ME?* Can anyone explain this to me?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 13, 2022 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,274 |
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He controlled every aspect of the wedding, down to the silverware and flower arrangements. I’m not a materialistic person, so I let him have the reigns.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 13, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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He pushed me for a baby right away. When I say pushed, I mean he pretty much begged me to have a child. He was 36 and ready for a “real” family. He guilt tripped me almost every day, saying that he wouldn’t be complete without a child and that he was running out of time. He would buy me expensive gifts and sugarcoat how amazing motherhood and having our own family would be.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 13, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,802 |
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Cambion
I'm sorry, but how exactly does a man "run out of time" in regard to breeding? That's something that only happens to women because we have a finite supply of eggs with which to use or lose and once they're gone, they're gone. Men make new sperm every damn day - as long as a man can blow a load, he can knock someone up (barring any pre-existing fertility issues, that is). Men can father children in their eighties. What the fuck does he know about motherhood and all its joys? Was he a Moo in a past life? It's like me saying prostate exams are awesome and coercing men into getting one. How the fuck would I know if they're good or not? I don't have a prostate to examine and I'm not a urologist, so there's no possible way I could know.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 14, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 14, 2022 | Registered: 4 years ago Posts: 129 |
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freyaQuote
former career sad moo
He made sure to not include any of my officer friends, which were basically family at that point, in the wedding. He even made every excuse in the book why I shouldn’t invite them to the wedding, even though our good friend, “James”, introduced us. I invited them all anyways. He controlled every aspect of the wedding, down to the silverware and flower arrangements. I’m not a materialistic person, so I let him have the reigns. He shot down my insistent wishes to honeymoon in France, where I even had family that we could stay with to save money. We honeymooned in Hawaii, even though I had already been twice and was three times as expensive. I’m still bitter as fuck about this, because now it will be insanely difficult to travel to Europe with our son. Another missed opportunity.
This is the kind of behavior that should make any woman consider an annulment or at the very least use two forms of birth control and not tell her husband!
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 14, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,966 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 14, 2022 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,274 |
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•I would cheat on him with the male officers.
•I’m selfish for wanting a career, and this is my life now.
•He was threatened by my career. (I shit you not!)
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 15, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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My 4 y/o is typically very difficult to get to bed. He still needs me to lie down with him until he falls asleep every night. We were in his room, it was 2.5 hours past his bedtime and he was just running back and forth on his bed, hitting the walls, pulling his curtains, just out of control. He kept saying "I'm hungry/thirsty". I got him food several times, he wouldn't eat it. He needed ice in his water, needed to pee, wanted to look out the window, etc. A never ending list of demands.
I start to lose my temper and tell him to lie down. He eventually does, but keeps up with the whining and demanding. It never stops. I try to leave the room, but every time I do, he starts screeching and I don't want his sister to wake up. So I stay in there with him.
Eventually I get him to almost fall asleep and he sits straight up and goes "I want chips". Mentally, I snapped. He starts screaming about being hungry and I keep telling him to shut up, shut tf up. I started telling him. "Mommy's get really angry and I need to leave for a minute" but he just screams every time I go near the door. So I felt trapped in there.
It got to a point where I was so blindly angry that I slammed him down on his bed and covered his mouth with my hand. Hard. Like I was pressing him into the bed with force. It only lasted a couple of seconds before I came to my senses and grabbed him for a hug. I held him and apologized a million times, told him it wasn't his fault, that what I did was wrong, that I would never do it again, etc.
I am usually so patient and make an effort to consciously parent. I don't hit my kids or yell at them. We treat them with respect and teach them about boundaries, consent, their body being their own. And now I've ruined it all by putting my hands on him. I hurt him. I was just so exhausted, and now I feel like somebody should come take my kids away from me. That's what I deserve.
Idk why I'm posting this, just someone to tell when I can't actually tell anyone. My heart is broken and I'm so afraid that I traumatized him forever.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 15, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,228 |
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At the time, I was 27 and *kind of* looking to settle down. Everyone in the force was getting married or had been married for awhile.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 15, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,966 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 16, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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Ketchup
I think this is the big tell. It's the typical peer pressure thing - "everyone else is doing it". It doesn't even sound like she and her husband have much in common. He made good money, everyone else was getting wed-and-bred, so naturally got to partner up and check off all those lifescript boxes like everyone else.
I think it's funny that from what I can tell, most of the posters in that Facebook group say they never wanted kids, but when they tell their stories they appear to have given in so easily. I think a lot of "I didn't want kids" is just not true and it's their regret talking.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 16, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 16, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,966 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 16, 2022 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,274 |
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she wanted to prove she was a better moo than her own gonad incubator. can't think for herself, because of the baby propaganda shit equates her selfworth by using her twat.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 17, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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bell_flower
I've always thought the people who are driven to be parents are the worst. So many of them tell themselves they are going to do a better job and they think by sheer force of will, they can. That was my own mother in a nutshell and without introspection, time and therapy, they are disasters as parents. They make the same mistakes or worse.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 17, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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...but no, I didnt. I didnt know a pandemic was going to force me to homeschool my kids, quit my job, and become a full time stay at home mom. I did not sign up for a special needs kid. I did not sign up for custody battles in court. I didnt sign up for most of what my life looks like right now. I've lost my sense of self being wholly responsible for two very challenging kids. I didnt sign up for this.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 17, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,228 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 17, 2022 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,966 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 18, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,802 |
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Cambion
If you didn't want your life upended and ruined by problematic/unhealthy brats, then you shouldn't have bred. Reproduction is a crapshoot and unless you are ready and willing to deal with the biggest extended shitshow of your life, do NOT breed. Funny how I know this shit without making unnecessary people, but it seems my opinion on the matter is invalid because I didn't burden myself with sproggen.
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I didn't sign up moo prequel
...but no, I didnt. I didnt know a pandemic was going to force me to homeschool my kids, quit my job, and become a full time stay at home mom. I did not sign up for a special needs kid. I did not sign up for custody battles in court. I didnt sign up for most of what my life looks like right now. I've lost my sense of self being wholly responsible for two very challenging kids. I didnt sign up for this.
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I didn't sign up moo
I hate the whole “you shouldn’t be having sex if you cant afford kids or aren’t mentally stable.
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I didn't sign up moo 2
the worst is when people with kids--specifically boomers or older gen x--who had it VERY EASY compared to today say this.
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I didn't sign up moo 3
Also, these same people are totally going to eat their words when they get stuck in a nursing home someday because none of their family/children are willing to provide care or even regularly visit them at the nursing home.
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I didn't sign up moo 4
The whole idea of no one owes you anything particularly sucks when you are at the mercy of others to help care for you.
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I didn't sign up moo 5
I didn’t realise that all my friends would drop me because I had kids. I thought I might have the occasional contact with them…
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I didn't sign up moo 6
Yeah right...I signed up for a child with severe mental health disease and 100's of thousands of dollars in medical expenses. Because I'm a total masochist.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 20, 2022 | Registered: 4 years ago Posts: 202 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 21, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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Moo
Also, these same people are totally going to eat their words when they get stuck in a nursing home someday because none of their family/children are willing to provide care or even regularly visit them at the nursing home.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices June 21, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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I KNOW Reddit is not a place for women and much less mothers. But I just got from a post on a subreddit about men, about how Father’s Day is not as appreciated as Mother’s Day and what an injustice it is to all the men, why are the women so fucking ungrateful and materialistic and self centered.