Our cre8ive CF glossary

Figured I'd start a thread about the various slang terms people like to use as was suggested in that other thread. Go nuts people! I'll start

Child:

Chyuld
Kyd
Crotchfruit
Fucktrophy

Baby:

Baybee
Fleshloaf
Loaf
Squalling Shitsack

WTF does "quimsplat" mean?

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

sperm n' egg omelette
lil tax credit
freshloaf
cunt-turd
DNA collision (just made that one up!)



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"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is you never know if they are genuine.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

crotchling
shitling
crotch-dropping

snot gobbler
shriekling
ankle biter
nipple cruncher
crib lizard
squalling boobsucker
resource absorber

Carpet shark
Snot goblin
Cunt maggot

For the kids:

Dribbler
Condom failure
Golden boy (much-desired son)

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For the Mommies:

Sperm hotel
Entitlemoo

Quote
Medusa
Carpet shark
Snot goblin
Cunt maggot

Ewwww. I love it!

Parents:

Moo
Duh
Parunts
Sperm Doner
Wallet
Cow
Pig
Sow

I first saw the term "freshly sluiced" in reference to a newborn shitling on the Aimoo board, I dunno who posted it but it's still a scream.

I still refer to kydz as "shits," because the vast majority of them are.

Welfare check, they didn't want the kid because they wanted/loved kids, they just to be guaranteed to be able to sit on their ass and suck the taxpayer tit dry.

Here are some more:

Sanctimommies
Incubator
MyDickWerks
Look-What-Og-Make (see: MyDickWerks)
Stairsteps - To refer to the kids (usually of the same gender) that were shot out in such rapid succession in order to get the goldensprog that, when standing next to one another, look like stairsteps.
Mini-Me
Snotminers
Yard Apes

Quote
herbalgeek
Here are some more:

Sanctimommies
Incubator
MyDickWerks
Look-What-Og-Make (see: MyDickWerks)
Stairsteps - To refer to the kids (usually of the same gender) that were shot out in such rapid succession in order to get the goldensprog that, when standing next to one another, look like stairsteps.
Mini-Me
Snotminers
Yard Apes

hahaha I love yard apes!

Green 11's - the two lines running from the kids nose before it hits the sleeve.
SMooV
Soccermom Urban assault Vehicle
Bratley
Ashleigh
Duh
Moo - Mother Obsessed with Offspring.


SUV also has another meaning. It's for a geezer guy's Christmas - Socks, Underwear, Viagra.

I had never heard of many of these until Bratfree. I had always used "Self Replicant" up until I learned some new lingo. While I like all of the slang and think a lot of it's hilarious, I am partial to self replicant because I truly believe that attempting to replicate oneself is the primary reason that 90% of people reproduce, including PNB's. I have heard plenty of parents outright say that they wanted a "little me" and have heard even more say things that lead me to believe that's their goal like, "He has my eyes,", "he has my husband's temper", "He is amitious, just like I was at his age", etc.........If few or no similarities appear to exist then they will make them up. I can't help but chuckle when they go on and on about an olive complected, brown eyed newborn whose parents are fair skinned Gingers with, "Aaawwww, he has a ball player's grip just like his daddy!"

It's SUCH horseshit!

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Pussy Pop Tart (one of my favorites, posted on here long ago)
Crotchmuffin
Crib Goblin
Snot miner

Belongs here as well as the other thread. From the Internet Wayback Machine:

Lexicon of Spawn

Got many of these from "Happily Childfree" Glossary of Terms....enjoy!
Heir and the spare - 2nd Kyd cooked up just in case the first one is fucked up..
Pinching the vag loaf - Giving birth to spawn
Crotch Monkey - Said spawn twelve months after being pinched from vag
Tit nazi - Annoying, rude, public breastfeeders
Cunts 'n Runts - Another name for OBGYN
Fuckeduplets - Multiple kids, usually born with spectrum disorders and disabilities, most likely resulting from "successful" fertility treatments.

Toadler (for a toddler)

Breederlicious (kinda like breederific)

baby fetish (anything involving parents being sexually aroused by doing some act-such as co-sleeping-with young children)

I always liked "crumb cruncher," which I found out is not only CF lingo, but also airline lingo. I almost died laughing when I saw it mentioned in a recent Reader's Digest in an article about what pilots will and will not tell the passengers.

I think everybody got all my other faves...yard apes, aww-tard, Bratley, cunt maggot, fucked-uplets. I'll also add "brat-tard" and "cunt-shit" since those are others I've seen mentioned on CF sites, but not on this list yet.

It's sure gonna be fun editing this thread into an article of sorts...

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

crack monkey

I still adore "Toast!" for a c-section birth, which was posted by someone on stfuparents, but it's probably a bit too random to ever catch on.

Vaj vermin
pram maggotts

I'm thankful that because I have no kids, I can afford to go Black Friday shopping and splurge a little bit.