Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 25, 2023 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 2,727 |
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Stepmoo
My husband voluntarily goes to several conferences each year - mainly to get CEU’s but also for a “free” vacation since the conferences are usually at the beach or some other fun location. For context, I’m in the same profession and there are many other ways to obtain CEU’s.
In the past, I’ve had to babysit his 3 children during said conferences. This year, I put my foot down and they are going to biomom’s house while he’s gone. Biomom has a past history of being lazy and bringing them back.
Last night, I reminded him that I was not babysitting during the conference - so if biomom dropped them back off here he would need to leave the conference. He got really upset, threatened divorce, accused me of not loving the kids etc. Am I a jerk for insisting this?
For further context, a friend of ours lost a child this week and I think he should stay home anyway and attend the funeral with me. This is one of our closest friends. In addition, my car is on its last leg and may die any moment (he’s a mechanic and can fix) and he’s headed to the beach.
I suppose I’m just bitter about the whole situation. Can anyone see this from my point of view?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 25, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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Stepmoo
In the past, I’ve had to babysit his 3 children during said conferences. This year, I put my foot down and they are going to biomom’s house while he’s gone. Biomom has a past history of being lazy and bringing them back.
Last night, I reminded him that I was not babysitting during the conference - so if biomom dropped them back off here he would need to leave the conference. He got really upset, threatened divorce, accused me of not loving the kids etc. Am I a jerk for insisting this?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 25, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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duh
Now we're in the divorce process and she's being absolutely ridiculous. She's requesting nearly $20k a month in alimony, and 90% custody and massive amounts of child support. She has the ability to make nearly $700k a year but she's trying to get alimony from me (when she was working she made more than I do actually because her company pays a higher percent of production).
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 26, 2023 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 2,727 |
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freya
In r/Divorce:
Both went to dental school and have huge loans. She quits a $750K job to inpig and doesn't want to return to work. Makes an agreement to not work for two years with her husband and refused to go back to work after the two years were up. He is paying $10K a month for both of their student loans. She has over 600K in loans and cheated on her husband. He is trying to figure out how to divorce her and not be bled dry.Quote
duh
Now we're in the divorce process and she's being absolutely ridiculous. She's requesting nearly $20k a month in alimony, and 90% custody and massive amounts of child support. She has the ability to make nearly $700k a year but she's trying to get alimony from me (when she was working she made more than I do actually because her company pays a higher percent of production).
Because they had a brat, she may very well get away with all of this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/15z7s6q/getting_a_divorce_and_my_cheating_wife_is/
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 26, 2023 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,985 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 27, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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Peace
I won't ever understand the mind of people willing to throw such a life away for a brat.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 29, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 30, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,257 |
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I told my s/o I want to be saved over the baby if it ever came down to it during the delivery.
I told him how I have a family who’s loved me for 20+ years with so many memories, established friendships and career which I worked really hard for. I don’t want my parents to lose their daughter or my siblings to lose their sister for their grandkids/niece/nephew. I also don’t want the child to grow up knowing that they’re the reason why their mother is dead and I don’t want them to grow up without me because no one will take care of them the way I will.
My s/o thinks I’m being selfish that I want to be saved over the new born child and that he would give his life for his kid. He’s also added that he’ll re marry so the child can have a mother (when I said I don’t want them to grow up without their mom)
I know it’s just hypothetical but he seemed really set on this as he said stuff like “you don’t think about our children the same way as I do”. And if I’m being honest I am pretty hurt that he thinks I’m replaceable just like that for a child who’s never even seen the outside world. I’m sad to be called selfish for wanting to be alive. I know Doctors will always try and save mothers life but I also don’t know how I’m going to live knowing my s/o thinks the way they do if it did happen, I live and the child dies. I ’m scared that his mindset will not change even if this did happen.
Am I the asshole for wanting to be saved over the child?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 30, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 31, 2023 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,985 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices August 31, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,257 |
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My husband and I (f39,m41) have been trying for a baby for 5 years now. I admit that our sexlife suffered because of how mechanic ti became trying to do all the right things at the right time and it wasn’t lust and desire but rather for the purpose of conceiving. I might add that my husband wants children as much as I am but apparently the way we had sex “scarred him” so he cheated on me with a friend of ours. I found out because his sister found out and refused to cover up for him. He said he was sorry and cried and that he loved me (for some sick reason I do believe him) but I couldn’t stay in the marriage.
When we separated I found out that I was pregnant. I contemplated abortion but I just couldn’t because I lost everything including my marriage for this baby plus I already was in love with them. My husband freaked out when he heard and he begged me to forgive him and take him back but I couldn’t.
When I had my scan I didn’t tell him and he was very distraught saying he wanted to be there. Now he is beside himself when I told him that I didn’t want him in the delivery room with me. He was shocked and he literally started crying over the phone.
Why does he think he can be there? He is not my husband anymore. I don’t even feel comfortable in my underwear around him now. My mom said I’m an AH and I was hoping she would be with me but she said to forget it because she’s not enabling my behavior so I guess I don’t need anyone there?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 04, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 04, 2023 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,985 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 08, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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I've been processing this for a while, and finally have enough of handle to post about it. Tw assault and non consent. Probably a rant too. You have been warned, here be dragons.
A few months ago I was raped. Its something that im not going to go into too much detail about on here, but the context is kind of important here, they did catch the one responsible and he's awaiting trial and the evidence is pretty overwhelming. I'm in therapy to help me process and stuff, my family are wonderful and supportive and my kids no nothing about this. But there are ongoing issues I need to vent about.
I'm already a single mum to 5 1/2 year old triplets. 1 has a handicap that means shes developmentally closer to a toddler at best and will probably remain so. But we have all been prospering even though its never easy and I'm raising them with support from my family and alot of hardworking sleepless nights. And really just feel like I just got the balance of it.
I've known that I'm pregnant again for a while, I've been trying to cope and make decisions and figure out how I feel and all the rest, I probably took more time then was wise but it was what I needed to cope at the time but earlier this week I finally had a scan, and I'm having triplets again.
last time I made it to 32 weeks, in a few weeks I'll be halfway there.
That means up to 7 of us in my little 3 bed flat. So I'm going to have to vastly accelerate plans to upsize.
handling 3 older kids is hard on your own even with support, harder when 1 requires special attention, I'm not sure I can add another 3 newborns into my life by myself. I'm sure if it comes down to it I COULD cope but its going to be hard and i need to be prepared for it. They won't always be newborns but they will always need their mum.
I think it might be irresponsible for me to keep them, supporting 6 on my own is going to push my budgets a way past breaking point, not just money but time and attention and everything.
I always wanted a big family (I had 7 siblings growing up) I just never imagined doing it without a partner. This would give me that family.
The idea of having 3 newborns and 3 by then nearly 6 year olds at the same time on my own is kind of scary.
The idea of keeping my rapists kids doesn't hurt me, it won't be their fault and honestly im not as traumatised by it as i might be, the fact that i was able to fight him off as well as i did is something that helps me cope and I will do everything in my power to make sure they never meet. I also won't be telling them about their "donor" any more then i have to, they dont need to know.
Last time being pregnant put me in bed for over a month, it took me nearly a year to be physically back to normal all the while taking care of 3 tiny and not entirely health babies. (There was alot of drama back then.).
I'm probably going to drown in nappies. Only 1 of my kids is potty trained, and it's been months of hard work to get that far, and this puts a real ticking clock on getting the other one trained, as I won't have time, energy or possibly ability to do so as I get bigger. Its already getting hard. So potentially 5 kids in nappies.
I'm at the point where I need to make a decision very soon about what I'm doing (i have about 6 weeks to decide), I've had advice and support from everyone around me but I know I need to decide for myself, I have the resources and support whatever i choose. I just needed to write it out to see what my thoughts are so far.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 08, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,257 |
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I always wanted a big family (I had 7 siblings growing up) I just never imagined doing it without a partner. This would give me that family.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 09, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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bell_flower
I remember being in college and barely 19 and living on a hall with girls and listening to one of them talk about how she had to have a baby by age 25 because when she took her kids to school, she didn't want to be "one of those older moms." I remember not being able to relate AT ALL and thinking, who even thinks like that? Dumbasses, that's who. I mean, presumably you are in college to get an education.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 09, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,257 |
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I (25/F) am newly pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and it was not a planned but my boyfriend (26/M) and I live together and have been together for four years and even before I got pregnant we were planning to get engaged in the next year. His mom (57/F) has never liked me, she has been rude and cold to me in nearly every interaction we have had. She thinks my family is “white trash” because I come from a family that is lower-income than my BF’s family. My family are good, hard-working, classy people- there is literally no reason for her to think that about us other than money. Because she has always treated me as less than, we have never gotten along.
Covid was extremely distributive to mine and my family’s life and without getting into too much detail, Covid caused a lot of financial hardship that delayed me going to college. Right now, I go to school and work full time. I am over halfway done with my degree now and when my baby arrives I will have 1 year left. My bf is a few years into a pretty stable career where he makes good money. My plan is to continue working and going to school throughout my pregnancy. Classes end in April and I am due in May so if I have a healthy pregnancy the timing should work out. I want to take one semester off after baby comes because I would rather not put the baby in daycare when they are still tiny. Then I want go back to finish my degree spring semester next year, when baby would be 7 months old and put baby in daycare at that point.
My bf has been wonderful to me since we found out and told me he will support me and the baby as I finish school and has said that we can do whatever it is that I want to do. His mom has not been so supportive.
She has called me twice since we found out to talk to me “as a mother” and has told me that I will never go back to finish my degree because I will be too sad to leave my baby at daycare, that her son will have to take care of me and the baby financially for years, and that if I am really sure that I want to keep the baby (which I am) that she and my FIL will move to the city we live in so she can watch the baby during the day so “ her son doesn’t have to pay for daycare” and I can return to school without taking a break. They are both comfortably retired.
She painted this like a huge sacrificial gesture. I don’t want this at all. I want to spend some time with my baby after they’re born and I don’t want this woman who has always been unkind to me to be so involved in our daily lives and have my baby all day every day. Of course she can spend lots of time with her grandchild but her being their daily caretaker makes me uncomfortable. I told her that my university has a daycare center that offers students pretty affordable childcare, and that I was actually looking forward to taking a break from school after baby is born, and she said she couldn’t believe that I “would rather send my baby to a budget daycare than have their own grandmother care for them” and that she was sure I was looking forward to “riding off my bf’s income for as long as possible” and hung up on me.
My bf said I shouldn’t have outright rejected her offer immediately and I should have said I would think about it, but that the way she spoke to me and insinuated I am freeloading off him was unacceptable and that he’d tell her that. I feel so awful about the whole interaction and situation. AITAH?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 09, 2023 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 12,457 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 10, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 10, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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Cambion
I don't get it, wouldn't growing up with seven siblings make you NOT want a big family? Like didn't you get enough of that shit already? I imagine at least some of the older kids were parentified and had to raise the younger kids to an extent.Quote
bell_flower
I remember being in college and barely 19 and living on a hall with girls and listening to one of them talk about how she had to have a baby by age 25 because when she took her kids to school, she didn't want to be "one of those older moms." I remember not being able to relate AT ALL and thinking, who even thinks like that? Dumbasses, that's who. I mean, presumably you are in college to get an education.
I honestly still don't understand why people have kids on purpose and I'm in my late 30s. Like to me, children are the result of being careless and stupid with birth control, not something you do intentionally. I mean as far as age goes, I know once you get to 30, you're considered "geriatric" reproductively, but I'd think more highly of someone who waits until they were more financially stable or has a little more life experience under their belt to have a kid instead of having one young and ruining their lives because they think being a parent past their 20s makes them old.
If she didn't want to have kids without a partner, then why is she having kids without a partner? I don't mean her being raped because that's obviously not something anyone chooses to have happen. I mean staying pregnant after an assault. Who was the father of the first litter? I can't tell from the text if the rapist was a boyfriend or some random guy, or maybe someone she knew platonically who turned out to be a horrible person.
Maybe lady luck will smile down on her and she'll miscarry, because honestly who the fuck can handle six kids on their own, especially when one is disabled? Even with family help, resources would be stretched too thin and I'm sure her family may eventually grow tired of raising her mistakes for her.
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unlucky moo
I was 18 when I had my triplets, and as soon as I announced my pregnancy my bf ran off and disappeared from the face of the earth, (he was 23 at this time, and has left no trace, he left his house, sold his car, and completely disappeared, he is being searched for but its been 4 years and still no joy). He didn't even know it was with triplets at that time.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 13, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
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I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. We have been working on my son for 2+ years on pooping on the potty and now he's 4 still doing the same withholding. He always had issues with pooping so we knew it would be a challenge but nothing prepared me for this going on as long as it has. We've tried literally everything and nothing has worked. Treats, threats, sitting with books or games, laxatives for months at a time, phases of diaper poops, changing diets, probiotics, microenimas and showing videos on how our body works and why it's important to get your poop out, literally everything.
He will sit on the potty for hours at a time sometimes and still hold it in. It will be 9 days before it's coming out and he has no choice before he finally lets it. Even with the laxatives and stool softeners he still can hold it (so you know he's holding with all his might). He gets such bad belly aches and weve tried explaining going every day or every other day will keep poops from getting so big. I'm so fucking exhausted. I feel like this is never going to end. Our pediatrician just doesn't give us anything else to do I don't even know if I want more advice because nothing ever works.
Has anyone ever been through this with their kids and it go on this long?? I feel like the longest this lasts people is maybe 4 months so I feel like it's hopeless for us. I just want to give up and let him hold it however long he wants and let him do it on his own from now on but he will literally hold it in 10+ days if I do that. I don't want him to have a long term physical issue. I'm so tired.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 13, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,257 |
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This afternoon while cleaning I was going through bills and happened to open a bank statement that was my husband's credit card account. He just got a new one a few months ago. Normally I'd just put it with the rest of the statements and not bothered with even looking at it. I kinda just open em and stack em because I know what our accounts are like. The credit card is supposed to just be for backup money and nothing else really. But the statement was kinda a thick stack, which is strange because it's not supposed to be used.
The statement was 3 pages long of charges to an Only Fan account. I was completely shocked!! This was some serious money being taken out weekly and then being paid off with a different account. I immediately started to go through our online bank accounts and found payments to OF from his other accounts too! We have one account together and have two each of our own accounts. But we have access to all accounts for bills. (Kinda confusing) Anyways after going through I've totaled almost $4,000 over the past 3 years. WTF.
The payments start in Nov 2020, I gave birth to our son Dec 24th, 2020. So for the past 3 years while we have been raising our son, my husband of 5 years, together 10, has been paying to girls on OF. I've never used the site but I damn well know what it is. I just can't believe what I've found.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 14, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,122 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 14, 2023 | Registered: 4 years ago Posts: 202 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 14, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,765 |
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Stupid moo
Before I found out I was pregnant, I found out that he was a p*dophile. Which is one of the reasons I left him to begin with.