Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 15, 2023 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,740 |
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toraneko
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Cambion
I automatically think less of these men who throw money at OnlyFans girls.
But if you pay them, they'll diddle themselves JUST FOR YOU!
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 15, 2023 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,821 |
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Cambion
But who the fuck pays for porn? With a little imagination, you can pretend any cam girl is doing stuff "just for you" and save yourself money.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 16, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 8,998 |
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My wife is a SAHM. We have a 5 week old daughter. My wife was putting on her clothes after showering and our daughter pooped so I brought her to the changing table and my wife yelled to the other room so I can hear her “I’ll change her diaper now just give me a sec” and I was already starting to change her diaper and my wife was like “nooooo let me do it” and I said I’m already changing her it’s okay and she said “no it’s weird” and she told me I’m making her uncomfortable so I stopped I didn’t wanna keep upsetting her and I let my wife change her diaper. She apologized after our daughter was changed and she basically told me that she doesn’t think any man should be around female naked babies even if you’re the father
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My ex and I met during my senior year of high school and dated for roughly two years. During this time period a lot of things came to light. He started a new relationship and lied about it, still denies it to this day. I recently found out I’m pregnant and I’m now two months into the pregnancy. He wants me to get an abortion, but I don’t want one. I’ve told him since the beginning that I would personally never get an abortion. He is the only person I’ve been sexually active with so there’s zero doubt that it is his child. Now his mother is saying I should listen to how he feels and get the abortion. I’ve told them both that I do not want an abortion and that I will be seeking child support. He hasn’t spoken to me since last week when we had this argument and he told me he doesn’t want to be with me. I’m hoping he comes around and helps co parent his child. I’m finishing my senior year of college and I’m expected to give birth in April and graduate school in May. This situation has made my depression worsen and I’m not sure what to do moving forward. This situation feels entirely unfair because he said that if I got pregnant he would be excited to be a father and now he’s abandoning me. What should I do moving forward? Am I wrong for not wanting an abortion? Is there any chance he will change his mind closer to when the baby arrives?
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I f(20) and husband m(22) have been getting in a lot of fights. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and I have rules for when the baby comes. No kissing, and no pictures of the baby posted online. I also wanted to not have visitors for the first two weeks, which was denied because " its not fair for everyone else".
My husband had a talk with mil and fil and a huge dispute happen. My mil was not happy with the no kissing rule because she said "She loves having babies on her chest and kissing them". My husband tried to enforce the rule but she was very upset. He came to me and told me to allow her to kiss the baby on the head and I said no kissing a new born because of disses and germs. He told me I need to make a compromise and give that up to make his mom happy. I don't want to because people can't simply understand that kissing a newborn in dangerous.
He tried doing a lot of math and statistics to show me its not a big deal, and how unlikely the baby is to get sick. He told me I am being absurd and controlling and since other people will follow my other rules then I should allow his mom and grandma to kiss the baby. To which I said no still and it's not negotiable, because they can all wait. Then I exploded when he told me that he invited them to come up 2 hours after the baby was born. Because acording to him that is all I need to recover. I don't want people there right away because I will be in pain, bleeding, and still dirty in a gown. Not to mention that there will be people coming in to look at my private parts often after giving birth. I feel like the hospital should be my safe space to recover and bond with the baby, and that the decision to invite people when I am ready is up to me not to him. He said that it is his baby too and it's not all about me. His mom is also very pushy and manipulative to the point where she told him that she wouldn't come meet the baby if she could not kiss it. She has also made comments that attacked me about my body size and the babies size. She has also claimed the baby as "My baby". She is just notorious for not following rules and doing whatever she wants.So am I the a-hole for not wanting people there right away and kissing my baby?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 20, 2023 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,740 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 20, 2023 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,740 |
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I keep a running clock in my head of how many hours it’s been since my 4 year old has physically assaulted me. I rarely make it past 1-2 hours unless she’s sleeping. It’s been like this for months.
I’m starting to feel like a battered spouse. Like it’s all my fault and I’m worthless and I don’t deserve to live. I truly wonder if she hates me.
I feel like I’m doing the right things. I’m giving choices, I’m being fun, silly mommy. I bake with her. Buy her toys. Do art. I’m playing the “if I close my eyes, will you magically get dressed??” game. And she scratches me for not letting her turn on an empty dishwasher. Throws a cup at me for asking her to get dressed. Pulls my hair for not letting her run into traffic. Bites me for laying next to her during story time.
We’re on a list for parent coaching/child therapy but it’s been months and I’m so far beyond my breaking point. I don’t know what I need, but it’s not this.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 20, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 8,998 |
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Second, background. We've been together for... Nearly 15 years. Not married. But the kids are biologically his. We have two in elementary. To be 100% transparent, our daughter has created so many issues over the years. We installed door chimes when she was 3 because she would just macgiver her way out of the house. She has issues regulating her emotions and compulsions (which she is in counseling and medicated for). She constantly disobeys. She tries to act like she's the parent (our son does too, maybe our parenting is fucked up in that way... Any other/all the ways, but I'm trying!). And more.
I picked her up from school, and the weather is shit. It was sprinkling with forecast of heavy rain. I told her she couldn't play outside with her friends today and to do her chore (unloading the dishwasher). Instead, she headed outside. She's not the brightest when disobeying, (editor's note: actually I think she's pretty bright--she's got Moo figured out.) so I immediately called her back inside. I told her again to do her chore (we already went over her school day, behavior chart, homework), and we'd need to discuss her "sneaking" outside with her dad/ my partner when he got home from work. (This right here tells you Moo is ineffective. Why doesn't she enforce some consequences instead of doing the old 'wait until I tell your dad' routine.)
She starts bawling. I feel like shit now, because I ignored the reaction and just told her to do her chore. She normally feels remorseful after something like this, so I ignored it. Like, yeah, you should feel bad that you'll be punished for doing something you shouldn't. (Of course the brat is going to be upset for getting in trouble--Jeez his mom is a wimp.)
My partner had a longer day at work than usual, because there was an office party for someone retiring. Our daughter cut her finger on a plate while unloading the dishwasher, so we cleaned it up and put a (magic) bandaid on it. I told her to take a break and have a snack and then finish putting the dishes away. Of course, she fucked off again after her snack and I had to remind her about her chore. It's putting away clean dishes ffs! And she starts panicking about getting "whipped with the belt again."
My world stopped spinning. Everything froze. I just focused on her face. Fucking "whipped"?! I asked her about what she was hit with, the color, etc. I already accepted her word, but I wanted every single piece of information so I could confront my partner.
Omfg. Honestly, I'm hollow. I'm so fucked up for letting this happen to her. Apparently, she was up late eating and drinking in her room (another rule violation) and my partner fucking beat her with a belt! I had the shit beat out of me when I was a child. But never with a belt! I'm sick to my stomach that this happened to her. It will never happen again. He had to leave her room to retrieve the belt and then beat her with it.
Despite my resolve to just wait to speak to my therapist in order to confront him, when he got home I dragged him into our room and asked him about it. He didn't deny it! When I told him it was fucked up, he had the audacity to ask how else he was supposed to deal with her! The fucking fuck?? Idk, maybe not fucking beat her?!
I contacted my therapist for an appt ASAP. I'm not sure how to adequately maneuver a separation under these circumstances. I can pay six months up front for a local apartment or Airbnb. After that, I want to leave the state. I've never been attached to this place. It's great and all, but it's too white and conservative (I don't think it's important, but I'm white and liberal. We live in a northern state, in a mostly white area that occasionally flies the Confederate flag. Because apparently they're so racist that they can't educate themselves enough to learn about which states supported what during a civil war that took place 150 years ago. That's it I'm done bitching about this white trash ignorant bullshit. I lied. Our state was part of the Union. Not even a border state. Fcs.). I'm not sure how custody or child support will work, but at this point I don't expect much push back for either issue.
I've been typing on this post over hours. When putting my kids to bed, I asked my son if he's afraid of his dad (literally I asked, "does Daddy scare you sometimes?"). He said yeah. No hesitation. No emotion. Just yeah. When I asked why, he said because of the way he yells at him when he's angry. Dude, like seriously?? Where TF have I been? I always call him out on his shit when he's being mean or unfair to the kids. I tell him to apologize when he's fucked up. Is he saving most of his vitriol for when I'm not around? I mean, I went to bed early last night. I never heard anything.
I'm going to move somewhere far, far away. I don't think he'd even want custody of his kids. It's fine by me. I know I can give them a good life (apparently, a better life) on my own. I'm just fucked all over about how to get there. Any perspective, advice, suggestions, anecdotes, etc are welcome. These dickhead (but absolutely loved) kids deserve the best, despite how much of a pain in the ass they are. I want them to have it and know that they deserve it. So thanks ahead of time!
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 20, 2023 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 7,685 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 21, 2023 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,740 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 21, 2023 08:01AM | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 8,998 |
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My husband has 2 (19 and 16) daughters from his previous relationship. He only sees them once or twice a week on his days off. Its because of his work schedule that he can’t see them often. When they come over they usually stay for a short time, eat dinner or lunch, and talk with their dad. Sometimes they go out for a couple of hours
The problem is that they have no respect for me, my kids, and 16F constantly steals from our home.
I don’t mind if they just didn’t want a relationship with me. But they constantly disrespect me, and insult me when I enter the room. They have insulted me for not working (i have a job but just recently had a baby), and make ‘jokes’ how i’m using their dad for money (I make more money him). I have two sons from a previous relationship (7M, and 9M) Which they insult because they think my sons are too dumb to understand what they are saying. Yet they understand clearly and are hurt by it. I have talked to my husband about this, and he says its all just jokes, and that he acted like that to his siblings. I have talked to them about it and they told their mom who argued with my husband about it.
16F also steals, she’ll say she’s going to the bathroom and then enter the bedroom and take some cash. I have caught her doing this multiple times. My husband will make her give it back then give her money from his own wallet. When I try to talk to her about it she tells her mom, who again argued with my husband. We have gotten locks for our rooms but she has just stolen other stuff instead.
My kids avoid going to the kitchen or living room when the girls are over, and i’m tired of being worried that something is missing. I told my husband that he could spend time with the girls outside the house, and if he brought them over i’d just take the kids and leave until they’re gone.
My husband called me childish, and my mom said its unfair to make him do that for me. AITA?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 21, 2023 01:54PM | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 8,998 |
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I (28m) recently finished my PhD and my income rose significantly (from $35,000 to $73,000). My wife (26f) also moved jobs and increased her pay (from $40,000 to $50,000.) We recently welcomed our third child into our home, and our daycare expenses rose to $1000 a month, which ends up being a little less than half of my wife's take-home pay. Also for context we share finances completely, so when I say "my pay" or "her paycheck" to us it is really just our money.
My wife told me that she would like to stay home with the children following this school year (she works as a teacher). I told her we could try to make it work and we started budgeting to live on only my income without her check. We still pay daycare with her check, but that is all. The rest of her check we pay extra on our debt ($40,000 in consumer debt, 110,000 mortgage debt). The last month we have been able to do this, but it is much tighter financially than we would like to have it. If you notice, our incomes combined a couple years ago totaled $75,000, which is close to my income alone now. So we are essentially living on our old incomes, but with 3 children to care for and with significant inflation.
I am sad that we are struggling so much with this new budget. I want to tell my wife that I'd like her to continue to work so that we can have an easier life with more margin. I am worried, however, that it would be an asshole move to tell her to keep working when I know she is a great mother and is really struggling with wanting to stay home with them. The only other option we have as far as money is to reduce our retirement contributions to give us more margin (I contribute 8% pre-tax, employer matches 8%, then I do an additional 8% in Roth). I don't want to reduce these contributions because I want us to be able to retire comfortably.
WIBTA if I told my wife that I am not comfortable with our budget on only my income, and that I would like her to continue working to give us more financial margin in our lives?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices September 22, 2023 12:02AM | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 9,740 |