Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 06, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Quote
mumofsixbirds
I think it's kind of damaging to put labels on every little negative thing that people experience. I'm pretty sure most people have experienced something similar to this from time to time and I don't think it needs its own label. It's probably more common in people who have suffered abuse or neglect or something like bullying at school.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 07, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,803 |
Quote
mumofsixbirds
I think it's kind of damaging to put labels on every little negative thing that people experience.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 10, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,275 |
Quote
Her friends of course think I'm a raging dick because when I don't work, they think I should stay home the entire time and cook and clean and take care of the kids.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 20, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 21, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Quote
Before I start, I love my kids, trust me I really do. I would do anything for them. I think they would be better off without me.
I hate being a mom. I hate it with every fiber of my being. And I have since the very beginning. When my oldest was a newborn I tried to ask the people I was closest to. I wanna die, is this normal? Does everyone go through this? They would say yes. It’s just baby blues. Those hormones fuck up your brain. Give it a few weeks. You’ll be back to normal.
I gave it a few months. I’m miserable. Me and my husband only fight. Is this normal? They would say yes. That first year is rough on marriages. It’ll be better once she’s sleeping through the night. Give it some time.
I gave it a couple of years. She’s 2 years old and sleeping through the night reliably but she’s just awful. She just screams at me all day long and I don’t know what she wants. I don’t even think she knows what she wants but I want to run away more and more with every passing tantrum. I’m happier when I’m away from her. Is this normal? They would say yes, toddlers are hard. They mellow out when they can start to communicate and learn boundaries. It’s more fun when they’re in school. Give it some time.
I never came around. She’s 13 years old and I still have that sinking feeling in my gut. I can’t believe this is my life. Only it’s worse now. Now I have 2 more. A baby and a toddler. 2 under 2. I want to scream when they cry. I hate all the mundane motherhood tasks. I hate cooking for them, I hate breastfeeding, I hate disciplining them, I hate bath time, I hate playing with them, I hate putting them to bed. I have had the life sucked out of me by them. My 13 year old is perpetually angry. She reminds me so much of her dad I’m afraid I’ve raised another him. All she does is trigger me and the older she gets the more she looks like him. I wonder if my husband was abusive because he didn’t have a loving mother. I think my kids are destined to the same fate.
My toddler is off. There’s something wrong with him. He doesn’t have any words, he doesn’t make eye contact with anyone, he rarely babbles, and he still isn’t walking. He’s nothing like my first at this age. I don’t know why he’s not meeting his milestones. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. My baby is so so miserable all the time. I thought babies were supposed to be happy. She just cries and cries all day long. If she’s not attached to me she’s crying. It’s exhausting. She doesn’t play. She’s never happy. I’m never happy. I think she’s feeding off my energy I’m not cut out for this. I want to disappear most days. I would ask, is this normal? Is this okay to feel?
And they would say, have you been screened for PPD? I want to rip my hair out and scream and scream for hours and hours. It always has to be something. There always has to be some underlying cause. It is unfathomable that a good Christian southern woman could hate motherhood. Motherhood is beautiful. Children are a blessing. Only the devil could hate something so rewarding. It can’t be because I was forced into this. It can’t be because I didn’t have a choice. It really can’t be that I was never presented with any other option but this. I wasn’t allowed on birth control. I couldn’t control when we had sex. I had to take whatever was given to me. Now I’m trapped for the rest of my life in this bleak reality. I can’t get out. It’s not fair. Im not saying I’m suicidal, but I do spend most days wishing an Anvil would fall from the sky and crush me. I can’t fathom what our relationship will look like when they’re adults. I can’t imagine it will be good.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 26, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Quote
My kids will eat literally anything. Anything at all. Sushi, pizza, curry, they love their vegetables especially broccoli and asparagus. They do their thing and will eat so well. At a restaurant. In the house or at a park or anywhere else? No,. absolutely not. My twins have lost 4 pounds, not because something is wrong but because they refuse to eat and I can't afford to take them out for every single meal. They turn 3 in January. Thank fuck my singleton eats fine, she eats her plate and then all of theirs. She's doing fine, but my twins... They are hangry all the time but are too distracted to eat. We have tried eating with them, we have tried letting them walk and eat, we have tried kids table, we have tried strapped in booster seats, high chairs, regular adult seats, picnic benches, we have ordered compression shirts. We have tried eating them at separate times from us, and from each other. We have dealt with several OTs to help. And we can't get them to eat at any house.
Then when we take the food away because it's been out for 2 hours they lose their minds and demand it back, but then DONT EAT IT. I am going to lose my every loving fucking mind.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 26, 2023 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 8,022 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 26, 2023 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 1,803 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices December 26, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 03, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Quote
I haven’t really labeled it as that until recently but PTSD is hitting me so hard and I’m dissociating so much. It’s how I felt when I was with her dad, but this is even harder because she is my daughter, and I can’t get away or divorce her. I’m breaking. She has been this way since she was 1, just worse every year. The rage, the lack of empathy, the constant messes and destruction. I put in so much labor, our home would literally turn into a hoarding or biohazard situation if I didn’t. There is not a single rule she follows. She is rude. She even deprives me of sleep.
And as a parent, i cannot protect myself because I have to supervise her and meet her needs. But what do you do when your child “needs” 24-7 and everything is an emergency in their eyes? The other night i slept for only 4 hours bc she snuck and stayed up all night and then wanted food so she woke everyone up screaming demanding food by making an announcement on the alexa. I made her handle it, but i cannot fall back asleep.
I don’t even know where to start to explain this situation. Yes we have therapists, psychiatrist, care management, IEP and OT evaluations in progress(after fighting her school for years.) I’m a loving, rational, semi-crunchy mom. I’ve loved her so hard, I have read all the books, we have tried to follow The Explosive Child guidelines, we have done the Matthews Protocol, At Peace Parents, we have done family therapy, we have paid parenting coaches to give advice. She has been hospitalized multiple times. Everyone says she is a tough case and extraordinarily stubborn. Some part of this is genetic(didn’t know until too late), her dad and maybe grandma are like this, and a cousin too. The whole family is even doing low carb right now, all for her, out of complete desperation, bc she started hallucinating 3 months ago and it actually stops when she doesn’t have sugar. Yet she sabotages it at every chance, stealing and getting candy any way she can.
Her dad has DID and schizophrenia. I left him(and the state entirely) when she was 2 due to domestic violence and our life is beautiful now in every way except for what she does to us. She never even saw anything or was abused herself, but somehow she is exactly like him. It’s an all encompassing triggering nightmare.
I have a teenage daughter too. She takes more after me. Bookworm, kind, empathetic. Her little sister has stolen most of her childhood and that hurts more than anything.
She attends school when she wants to. She’s adult sized and consequences, talking, etc mean absolutely nothing to her.
She leaves food and trash everywhere, refuses to eat at the table, absolutely loses her shit when we try to make her clean up after herself.
Won’t sleep by herself. Will get into bed with me and her pull-up leaks(yes still has eneuresis.) love getting peed on and changing my bedding multiple times a week.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 03, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,275 |
Quote
Ok confusing situation but I'll try to make it understandable, sorry for the length.
My husband and I have been together for almost 18 years (knew each other for 6 years before that and were close friends, me with his now ex wife and him with my now ex husband, friendship group disbanded after they cheated). We both came to the marriage with previous kids, (I had 3 by my former husband and two by a bf, he had 2 by his ex). I had a newborn when we got together. My husband was the only father she ever knew and they adored each other. Years later after she passed, he adopted my elder child but would have loved to adopt her too. Anyway, we spent many many long years trying to recover from our daughter's death.
Near the end of 2022 we decided we wanted to try for another baby. We also know we don't want to use my eggs as I'm in my early 40s. We decided donor embryos from overseas were best for us to have babies together. We also didn't want to use his sperm due to his career and exposure to high levels of carcinogens. We know we have no problem with genetics not being a factor. We don't have to have the same genetics to be a family. I'm questioning now, if something happens to my husband and we've been able to have another child (first attempt failed and second attempt resulted in miscarriage, next try is in April), would she be able to take me to court to prove DNA or take me to court for custody of my hypothetical future child? We DO NOT get along and have now gone from low contact to no contact. Hubby doesn't even speak to her due to her choices surrounding me and "my" kids and her behaviour. I'm worried she'll try to take me to court to prove the baby isn't "his" even though we both signed paperwork overseas claiming legal parentage or go even further and try to take my baby to replace hers, (she does NOT know we are using donor embryos, she believes they are from us). She did accuse me of stealing her baby when we got together and for several years after, even though he'd been married before.
We also just found out that she's been hanging out with his worthless ex (MASSIVE cheater, including my ex husband, MASSIVE liar, neglected their kids to almost criminal levels, we tried for years to get custody to no avail because back then we had older judges who felt kids belonged with their mothers regardless of situation, took their kids with her to meet up for sex with various men and women etc). She even sided with the ex over my husband during their divorce because she knew the judge would give the ex custody and she didn't want to lose access to the boys. She's never tried to build a relationship with me or my children though she did explicitly say she expected MY parents to accept my stepsons as their own and treat them the same as mine (which they did from day one, without hesitation or even a wors from us). She deliberately went out of her way on NUMEROUS occasions to emotionally hurt me and my kids, hence the low to no contact.
Anyway, would she have ANY legal grounds to take me to court over any future kids/insurance claims if something happens to my husband? He does have several large life insurance plans with me listed as sole beneficiary for all of them. She would go ballistic to know what they're worth. I fear she would try to contest parentage in an attempt to dis-inherit our baby/ies or try to take custody to "keep her son close", or third option, prove baby isn't "his" and contest the life insurance policies to try to get it awarded to herself. Does she have a legal leg to stand on? She's already questioned his ability to father more kids after a vasectomy 20+ years ago and questioned if I was pregnant by someone else. (I wasn't pregnant then and we hadn't even started the process to embryo transfer yet, we had just announced we were trying to have another baby so the family wasnt shocked by us just popping up pregnant, both of us are fixed)
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 03, 2024 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,228 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 03, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,275 |
Quote
The way that some people choose to live their lives is absolutely baffling! Don't these people have a desire for hobbies or anything else to fill their time besides making more people?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 04, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Quote
We don't have to have the same genetics to be a family.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 04, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Quote
bell_flower
I thank myself and the appropriate deity that I will never be in this situation thanks to sterilization, but I would hope if I were, that I would have the fortitude to lay down the law. A kid is beating on me or assaulting me? One time would be the last time. I don't care what people say about how "difficult" these 'tards are....there is a reason they pick on those that are smaller and weaker (often their spineless Moos)--it's because they know they can get away with it. If it came down to me versus being killed by one of these 'tards? I'm picking myself every time. And stun guns are non-lethal....I'm just saying.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 04, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Quote
Please be kind because I feel so awful, I just want to get this off my chest somewhere. And if this has happened to anyone else, I’d really love to hear.
To clarify for anyone’s concern (because I’d be concerned too) the medical professionals taking care of me are completely aware of this and are supporting me in preventing this from happening again.
Ever since my traumatic birth and a severe postpartum depression episode that resulted in my hospitalisation, I’ve struggled with acting out my dreams on occasion.
This first happened when my daughter was 5 months. We bedshared at the time, following the recommended safety guidelines, and I had a nightmare that people were trying to steal my baby from me.
They came close to take her from my arms, and I lunged at them and bit them. I then woke up and I was biting my baby’s forehead.
I was horrified. She didn’t wake up, or really even stir. There were some shallow bite marks in her skin that went away after a few hours. I told my psychiatric nurse after it happened, she gave support and help.
We started working on my baby being able to sleep away from me, in a sidecar crib instead of in the bed. Completely abandoning cosleeping wasn’t an option, as it’s the only way either of us get any good sleep, and the nightmares get worse when I’m sleep deprived.
But another incident happened a few months later. I was sleeping close to my baby, halfway in her crib with her, after a night feed. I had a nightmare that I was banging my head against a wall, and I woke up to myself headbutting her.
Again, she didn’t wake up or stir. There was a red mark on her head that went away after a minute or so.
After this, I now sleep about two arms lengths from her. It has not happened since, and I’m getting support in making sure it doesn’t happen again.
But I just feel so horrible that it did happen. I’m so scared it will happen again.
I recently woke up after a dream that I was being assaulted, and I was aggressively punching the air above my head (nowhere near my baby). But what if I had been facing my baby?
I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone else. I’ve been in therapy for most of my life, I’m a fantastic Mum. I’m so patient, I’m great at gentle parenting, I’m so proud of myself for that.
So how can my brain make me behave like that? Why won’t my subconscious mind protect my baby?
Thanks for reading, if you did. I feel terrible.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 04, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,275 |
Quote
I just did the math, Our combined monthly net is 3,412 and our combined annual net is 44,356. Yet we are struggling to make ends meet while I save my entire check. His checks without pulling money twice every week for delta carts, and random things would be 962 dollars, but his checks look more like 6-700 dollars sometimes even less than that. This paycheck we got yesterday was a full check with cut hours for the holidays on it being a little over 700$, mine was 595 and I had him give me 5 to make 600 for our savings for a house to rent. We are down to like 300 dollars left and he is going to spend 100 of it on a gaming system he doesn't need making us broke once again. And on top of that he has already pulled 100 for his next check.
I am tired of his poor spending habits leaving us in a tight spot. I am 7 months pregnant and we have no house- live with his parents- we have not bought a single baby thing and he's more worried about getting in the clouds and playing stupid games. We would be so much better off if he would suck up being poor for two weeks and not buy 4 g of carts every week and not spend his money on stupid old game consoles forcing us to be broke for a week and half, which then forces him to pull money. It's like having money drives him crazy and he has to get rid of it as soon as he gets it, and I'm trying my best to not spend a bunch on anything, including skimping out on lunch and stuff. I'm just at my wits end with it and its got me upset.
Edit: I did the math sleep deprived and in full swing of sickness, and math wasn't my strong suit I accidentally doubled the amount of checks we get, Our combined annual net is actually, 44,356
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 05, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 12, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,275 |
Quote
Am I wrong for not letting my husband's son stay at our house when he should be with his mother?
My (30F) husband (49M) and his ex-wife (40s) have joint custody of their son (11M) He stays with his mother from Monday to Thursday and with us from Thursday nights to Monday mornings. And that has worked perfectly for years but now he wants to break that agreement and stay with us more days a week, and if he had wanted to stay with us for more days a few months ago I would have gladly accepted but not now.
He had a complete change in his behavior in the last few months and honestly, and although it sounds bad, I can't stand him, and I'm not the only one, his sister (19F) can't stand him either. He is rude, dirty, and treats his younger sisters like shit and my husband no longer knows what to do or what to say to make him change that attitude.
Last Monday he came to our house after school, even though he shouldn't have, and decided he wanted to stay here all week. According to him, his mother let him stay, but it turns out that she never asked my husband if he could stay here, but we let him stay anyway and it was hell.
We have three-year-old twins and recently we had another set of twins (they are one month old) and the house of course is chaos. We have a person who helps us with the cleaning and my husband's daughter helps us with the children and we pay her and everything is much easier, but since his son is here, no type of help is enough for us. He messes things up in the kitchen every five minutes and leaves everything a mess, he doesn't pick up his clothes off the floor, he plays games on his Playstation with the volume really high, and the worst of all is that whenever he has the opportunity he treats his sisters really bad, and it seems that he enjoys making them cry.
I used to love having him at home because he was a really sweet boy, but I don't know what happened and now he is a different person and every time he comes home I count the days until he leaves because I can't stand him anymore.
The last time he came to our house my daughters were in the living room watching cartoons and he turned the television off and on until they started crying. That day I had a horrible day, my husband had to stay longer at work, his daughter wasn't at home and I had to be alone all day with the children, and I had a really hard time getting the girls to sit and watch TV for at least five minutes so I could sit and have coffee while the babies took a nap. But I couldn't even do that because I had to calm them down so they would stop crying. They stopped crying and after twenty minutes he began to tell them that he was going to take our dog, whom they adore, to his mother's house, and that they wouldn't see him again and that ended in another crying fit that he didn't even witness because when I appeared in the living room he went to his room laughing.
That same night I spoke to my husband and told him that I don't want him to stay here the days he has to stay with his mother because he drives me crazy. Fortunately he understood because he also struggles with his bad behavior and doesn't know what else to do to change it. He talked to his ex-wife and told her that their son is not behaving appropriately every time he comes here and that things are getting difficult and that until he changes his attitude he cannot stay here whenever he wants, and she got furious and of course she blames me.
I'm so tired that sometimes I wish I had never met my husband and thought it was a good idea to marry someone with children. I don't want to end up hating him because we are family and we will always be, that's why I think that until he changes his attitude we have to respect visiting days. Am I wrong for that?
Edit: We tried to take him to therapy but he doesn't want to, we talked to his mom and she doesn't want him to go to therapy either so we can't force him. We tried to find out what is happening and, as I said in a comment, the only drastic change he suffered was that he is no longer the only boy in the family because I had twin boys. Of course he says that this is stupid and that he doesn't care, but his change began when he found out that they would be boys.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 12, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 12, 2024 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 2,730 |
Quote
u/LilMama1787
I’d love to hear others’ perspective, especially if you’ve gone through something similar… it’s a bit long winded so I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read and respond.
4 years ago, after trying to conceive naturally for a year with no success, my husband and I sought out the help of a fertility specialist. Due to our age (both 33), MFI diagnosis (no apparent issues on my end) and our desire to have more than one child, our RE recommmended we go straight to IVF. We did one round and got 4 embryos. First transfer gave us our 3yo, 2nd transfer gave us our 1yo, and we’ve been trying for #3 since July. Third transfer failed to implant and fourth just ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We have no more embryos and it’s likely, especially considering I’m now 37, that another round of IVF would be our only option for a third child. I feel very strongly about having another baby and our recent loss absolutely confirmed that for me. The issue is that my husband doesn’t feel the same. He would love a third but not if it means going through another retrieval. His decision is 100% financially based and as we’ve paid for all infertility related treatment out of pocket, this would be another massive expense. His family is VERY well off and while we might not be in a position to afford another $30k+ right now, they certainly are. We’ve never asked them for anything and I feel like it would not be inappropriate to go to them and ask for help with this. My husband is very resistant to this idea. Throughout the years his siblings have asked for and been given much larger amounts of money than we’d be needing for various personal and professional things. We’ve avoided financial entanglements with them for a number of reasons but this is different for me. If either of my children came to me for help like this and I was in a position to do so, I would 100%!
I’ve admittedly felt moments of resentment through this entire process (“I have no fertility issues but I’m having to go through years of physically and emotionally painful treatment because of your problem, while you’ve had to do nothing”). It’s also really frustrating that I’m the one who’s sacrificed and worked to grow this family and suddenly he’s the one who gets to decide ok no, now we’re done. I don’t place blame because no one is at fault as far as fertility is concerned but it is hard to come to terms with the weight that I’ve had to carry in making and carrying our babies. I worry that if he won’t do this one thing and ask his parents for help in growing our family, that I’ll resent him even more and it will hurt our relationship and our family. I know that we are in no way owed this money and but I wish he would just consider asking. Maybe they’d be happy to give us this gift! And potentially play a part in bringing another future grandchild into the world.
Has anyone been through something like this? Any ideas how I can talk to my husband? He’s very defensive and we seem to be at a standoff. Any guidance or ideas on how to move forward?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 13, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,156 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 13, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,275 |
Quote
He put me in his will so the house goes to me in the event that he passes. I would be responsible for paying off the house, and any extra money would go to his brother. I am not on the deed for the house. Would this make it messy if he passes?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 14, 2024 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,275 |
Quote
I 25f am 7 months pregnant with our first child. My husband 27m and I are both incredibly excited. My husband is a good man, but is kind of stubborn and is a know it all at times. Editor's note: Look out!
We were discussing my birth plan with my nurse, and I plan on giving birth in a hospital based birth center. I’ve had an incredibly easy pregnancy and would like a more relaxed homey feeling birth, but would like medical care available in case there are any complications.
While discussing, my husband kept interrupting me and answering for me, saying what he thought was best. I told him to stop and that this was mostly a conversation between my nurse, and her patient aka me and our baby. He stopped but got huffy and annoyed the rest of the appointment.
In the car he got mad and said he was just trying to help and this was his baby just as much as it was mine. I told him he’s right, we are equal parents and the minute the kid is out of me he gets just as much say as I do, but until then he gets no say in how I give birth, because I am the patient and this is a medical procedure at its core. His job during labor is to be my support person, advocate for me if needed, and to watch our child come into the world.
He told me that was fucked up and I’m being selfish for saying that. That this pregnancy isn’t about me and I’m not more important of a parent than he is. This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation but it’s the first time I’ve been so blunt about it.
Hes now giving me the silent treatment.
Some of you don’t read and I’m not gonna argue with you. Shut the fuck up lol
He wants me to immediately get hooked up to pitocin in a hospital room and if it doesn’t speed things along fast enough get a c-section. Which is the exact opposite of what I want and so far there is no indication I will need to be induced or need a c-section.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices January 14, 2024 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 2,730 |
Quote
bell_flower
Found another one.
I'm psychic. I predict her husband will continue be an even bigger dick after her child is born.Quote
I 25f am 7 months pregnant with our first child. My husband 27m and I are both incredibly excited. My husband is a good man, but is kind of stubborn and is a know it all at times. Editor's note: Look out!
We were discussing my birth plan with my nurse, and I plan on giving birth in a hospital based birth center. I’ve had an incredibly easy pregnancy and would like a more relaxed homey feeling birth, but would like medical care available in case there are any complications.
While discussing, my husband kept interrupting me and answering for me, saying what he thought was best. I told him to stop and that this was mostly a conversation between my nurse, and her patient aka me and our baby. He stopped but got huffy and annoyed the rest of the appointment.
In the car he got mad and said he was just trying to help and this was his baby just as much as it was mine. I told him he’s right, we are equal parents and the minute the kid is out of me he gets just as much say as I do, but until then he gets no say in how I give birth, because I am the patient and this is a medical procedure at its core. His job during labor is to be my support person, advocate for me if needed, and to watch our child come into the world.
He told me that was fucked up and I’m being selfish for saying that. That this pregnancy isn’t about me and I’m not more important of a parent than he is. This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation but it’s the first time I’ve been so blunt about it.
Hes now giving me the silent treatment.
Some of you don’t read and I’m not gonna argue with you. Shut the fuck up lol
He wants me to immediately get hooked up to pitocin in a hospital room and if it doesn’t speed things along fast enough get a c-section. Which is the exact opposite of what I want and so far there is no indication I will need to be induced or need a c-section.
AITA for telling my husband he gets no say in how I give birth?