Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

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I mean, it is shocking what women go through in childbirth. And I totally see why someone wouldn't want to do it! But at the same time can we start talking about how awesome it is that we are even capable of bringing humans into the world from basically nothing?! Even on supposedly feminist subreddits it just seems like everyone is so grossed out by childbirth and it's effects on the female body. I hate the internalized misogyny of it all. If men gave birth we would not have this attitude. We would be praising them as life-giving beings eyeroll

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Idiot
I have news for those people. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not. Your body is gonna grow old, fall apart and eventually die just like it’s done for every human ever. You can’t stop time. You are no exception. (I am in midlife crisis can you tell?)

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Another idiot
But can we use less misogynist language maybe, please? Suggesting a woman's body is "ruined" by the effects of pregnancy is so disgusting.

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Moo
It gets me so steamed when child free folks loudly proclaim that they don't want to get pregnant and have children because they don't want to "ruin" their bodies. Like, get absolutely fucked. If you don't want kids, more power to you. And definitely nothing wrong with not wanting to go through pregnancy because it can be hard on the body. But can we use less misogynist language maybe, please? Suggesting a woman's body is "ruined" by the effects of pregnancy is so disgusting.

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Moo2
Exactly. And there's a lot of disregard that women deserve appropriate healthcare to rectify and physical consequences of childbirth. Like, we can fix most things we just dgaf about women.

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Moo3
I'm going to analyze a little farther here and propose that these people are critical of birth mother's bodies for two main reasons: 1) they feel like an inferior woman since they didn't have kids and you're still rocking life with kids and 2) they hate children.

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Moo3
I'm going to analyze a little farther here and propose that these people are critical of birth mother's bodies for two main reasons: 1) they feel like an inferior woman since they didn't have kids and you're still rocking life with kids and 2) they hate children.

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It gets me so steamed when child free folks loudly proclaim that they don't want to get pregnant and have children because they don't want to "ruin" their bodies. Like, get absolutely fucked. If you don't want kids, more power to you. And definitely nothing wrong with not wanting to go through pregnancy because it can be hard on the body.

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I'm going to analyze a little farther here and propose that these people are critical of birth mother's bodies for two main reasons:

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Exactly. And there's a lot of disregard that women deserve appropriate healthcare to rectify and physical consequences of childbirth. Like, we can fix most things we just dgaf about women.

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But can we use less misogynist language maybe, please? Suggesting a woman's body is "ruined" by the effects of pregnancy is so disgusting.

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bell_flower
I would argue the other end of the spectrum is FAR more misogynistic and far more dangerous. What's more misogynistic, suggesting childbirth can damage a woman's body, or believing that it's a woman's destiny to carry children, that women have been doing it since the beginning of time, so suck it up, Buttercup, and get with the program? These are the same people who minimize women's concerns, and that feeds right into shitty, misogynist healthcare.

These are the people who told teenaged me that migraines, passing out and bleeding to the point of anemia every month were just the price I had to pay for being female. And not just that, I should be HAPPY I was a woman, and don't worry, your cramps will disappear WHEN you have a baybee. And the same doctors who told me when I was in my 20's and 30's they would treat my endometriosis and hormone imbalances WHEN I wanted to get pregnant. And I'm not naive enough to think it would have stopped there: These are the same assholes who tell a woman with hyperemesis gravidarium that it's actually a good thing that she's puking because higher hormone levels mean she's not likely to miscarry the fetus, or that it's really not a concern until she's lost at least 10% of her body weight.

These are the same people who won't sterilize a woman because regardless of what she says, all womben want children. Or they won't treat women appropriately for cancer for the same reason.

And needless to say, these are the people who feed into the forced-birther camp and who prioritize a fetus over a woman because yanno, carrying a child for nine months is not a big deal and women who want abortions are selfish whores who abort for reasons of "convenience."

Better stop now because I'm the one who sounds bitter.

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My 40f, daughter, 22f, Rita is pregnant, she's almost 20 weeks and she just told me a few days ago. Rita moved back in with me and my husband (her stepdad) when the place she was renting with her bf 22m, and a former roommate fell through. Rita and her bf are still together and decided to keep the baby. The bf lives about an hour and a half away.

Anyhow, Rita does absolutely nothing. She doesn't work or go to school. She'll watch TV until 5-6am then sleep until 1-2pm most days. Only cleans her room when I tell her to. Doesn't wash dishes or her laundry, nor does she take out the trash. When I try to talk to her she starts crying and screaming that I hate her and I'm trying to stress her out and she can't deal with it. (My other young adult kid is in college full time and works part time. They were raised with the same rules and expectations.)

I tried telling Rita she's having a baby soon and she needs to grow up. Cue more crying and screaming. She literally throws herself on the floor and sobs. That she needs to get her act together to take care of the baby and try to be a decent parent. That the baby is hers, not mine and her and her bf responsibility to raise and provide for. That she needs to go to school or work or both and apply for daycare vouchers and any assistance she can. That she needs to pull her head out of the sand and actually do something with her life. (I had kids young, but I also went to school part time for several years to achieve my goals.)

These conversations always end with Rita on the floor, crying, screaming and basically throwing a tantrum. The only time she does anything is when either I force her to or her bf picks her up. Other than that, she'll go 4-5 days without showering or changing clothes. I've told her that has to stop. I love her but I'm not raising her baby or taking care of her like a child. She knows what's right and expected of her. Rita says I'm the ah because I'm turning my back on her and my grandchild and if they suffer its my fault because I have the ability to give them a good life and home with plenty of stability but I'd rather make her struggle. (I'd never let the baby go without.) AITA?

Edit: talked to Rita about things over her favorite foods while we were both calm and in decent moods. Rita hates being an adult, says its scary and the idea of having a baby is terrifying. She wants to be a kid again without all the adult worries and responsibilities. She semi regrets getting pregnant and giving up her freedom, but her and bf agreed to keep the baby but she wishes she hadn't said yes so fast so she feels a bit trapped and overwhelmed. I asked her about the tantrums, she said it's just easier than facing reality right now. She has zero interest in going to school or working. She'd rather spend her time doing things that bring her personal fulfillment and happiness. I told Rita that I do understand and empathize but it does not change the current situation and the fact a baby is on the way. I suggested an open adoption, Rita said no, that's not an option for her and bf, but admitted she has no idea what's going to happen or how they're going to manage once the baby is here and she's really unsure and scared. I once again suggested seeking therapy. Rita is not currently interested because she says therapy makes her feel like she's in some way defective or broken and she's not good enough as she is. Rita talked and vented a bit more and I just kept quiet and listened.

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Cambion
I see lots of people in the comments suggesting that the piggo is depressed and doesn't need tough love right now. Normally I would entertain this as a possibility, but I know from first-hand experience one of the many symptoms of depression is a lack of energy to do really anything. If Princess has the energy to throw herself on the floor and scream, she's not depressed. She a lazy piece of shit who wants someone else to raise her brat while she continues to be a deadbeat.

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Cambion
I don't think there's anything wrong with people standing up and saying, "I already raised my kids, I'm not raising yours" and leaving them to figure their own shit out. But these grandparents don't want to see a loaf get neglected because their shit-for-brains children don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, let alone how to keep a helpless human larvae alive.

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AITA for brushing off my neighbors complaints about my child chalking around the neighborhood?
I live in kind of a fancy pants neighborhood and it’s a pretty stark contrast to my own person. I’m heavily tattooed and self made + pretty down to earth I’d say. Most of the people living here on the other hand were born into wealthy families and are complete snobs, except for the guy across the street. Shoutout to David if you’re reading this.

I was enjoying my week off today as the doorbell rang. I opened up and there they stood, the three Stooges. Some neighbors gathered to complain about my kid.

They were less than pleased with him drawing with chalk around the streets and onto their perimeter walls (he didn’t enter any properties just drew from the sidewalk).

The chalk is normal grocery store chalk and washes off extremely easily. If it’s not thickly applied you can even somewhat blow it off. One rain and it’s gone. None of the color stains, nothing stays behind.

They kept on ranting and I couldn’t contain my chuckling. I usually am pretty strict, but this was just hilarious to me. 3 grown men complaining about a kid drawing flowers and such with chalk.

They threatened to get the police involved. I told them that I’d love to laugh and chit chat about these completely hysterical complaints with an officer. After that I basically laughed them off the porch.

As for my kid, I’ll definitely not discipline him for going out there and being a kid, not causing damage or harm, but just chalking some very short lived doodles. I’m more sad for the bitter Stooges who can’t enjoy a childs drawings. If any of their kids were to draw onto mu front porch even, I’d sit down with them and ask them about their cool little drawings and listen to them explaining their little worlds to me.

Am I going crazy? AITA?

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After almost 2 years of trying my husband and I are finally pregnant, today we got the results of my NIPT which includes gender results. He was excited and told his mom, later in the day they were on a phone call together and after being told not to say it as I didn't know yet and was waiting for a gender reveal she shouted "What?! I told you that you were having a boy!",

I'm heartbroken. I wanted to wait and share the moment with my parents and grandparents at a small gender reveal where I get to cut a cake and it was ruined, she doesn't even understand what she did wrong and is calling us sensitive (sic) for being upset!

This has destroyed me, I'm returning the shirt I bought for the gender reveal and I don't want her to be part of my or my son's life, but, I know that my husband would never allow her to be cut off so I told him I'll compromise and she can be part of our son's life but I never want her alone with him, if she can't listen to one simple instruction what makes you think she'll listen to our parenting choices?

He's PISSED about this and it caused a massive fight, he says "look how I turned out, I'm fine", to me while he may be alive it's been over 20 years since she had a baby, she is emotionally abusive and doctor shopped to have him placed on several unnecessary medications. Also, this is the same women who had called the cops on him for stupid reasons, like asking her what college degree she had and telling the cops he threatened to unalive her, same thing for asking for her wifi password and thinks baby wearing is SA. AITA for not trusting my MIL alone with our son?