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Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices

Posted by twocents 
Thanks for explaining what Warhammer is. I had no idea, but I'm not much of a gamer except for some mobile phone games like word searches and block puzzles. I'm all for having hobbies, but it just doesn't sound sustainable at all. Didn't they get the memo that kids are kinda expensive? What about medical insurance? If something happens to either them or the kid, it's curtains (if they're based in the US).

I'd love to turn one of my hobbies into a business. There are a couple of things I really enjoy doing and have been told I could make good money at (baking and buying/selling antiques) but even with medical coverage, money in the bank, everything I have, I just don't know if I'd want to do that as a full-time gig. I think if I did those things with the pressure to earn cash, I'd probably not really enjoy them as much and start to resent those activities.

I'm better off staying in my position at the hospital, even if it's just part-time for now and possibly looking into side-gigs. I hear the Farmer's Market is a great place to sell fresh baking and people pay top dollar for a good pie.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 02, 2024
I learned the hard way to not try to monetize a hobby and I have like $57K in student debt to show for it. Plus I lost my passion for art in the process, so I get to owe money for shit I don't even do anymore. I would probably never encourage someone to make money off a hobby because it's often a great way to wind up hating that hobby.

But sometimes it works out. I follow someone on Facebook who makes very unique stuffies and sells them for quite a lot of money (like $150-$200 each). Granted, I have no idea if that is that person's whole job or if it's just a thing they do on the side.

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yurble
Pretty sure any money he would make would just be poured right back into the hobby. Of course he'll argue it is necessary to build his brand and so on, but there are multiple reasons people can rarely take fairly niche hobbies and do well with them, and one of those reasons is that they are so attached to it that any success feels like a justification to keep going deeper into it.

Most likely. And I'm sure he'd throw around excuses like "you have to spend money to earn money!" when the wife starts nagging him to help pay the bills. There's no shame in doing it on the side, but it sounds like he wants to just not work a real job and have his wife support him.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 02, 2024
Moo's abusive partner is demanding she go off birth control to give him a third brat after she got done having two brats. Seems he doesn't care if getting pregnant could be dangerous for her after two C-sections. He wants to do the pull and pray method instead. It's not like IUDs cause reduced sensation like condoms do, so there is no reason for him to want her to get her IUD out other than he wants to knock her up.

I thought maybe he was doing this because Moo gave him a kid with the "wrong" gender (translation: not male), but it seems both the brats are male. It also seems that one of the kids has cerebral palsy, so Duh might be jonesing for a "normal" goldenpenis heir because he thinks she "broke" the first one. Or maybe he wants a daughter instead? The current two kids are very close in age - one of her posts from almost a year ago said she has two kids under one year old?! She must have gotten knocked up immediately after the first one.

I know the obvious answer is to get away, but I'm going to assume in typical fashion on that sub, she has nowhere to run to, no family to come to her rescue, and Duh has probably abused/gaslit her enough that she might think she "can't" leave.

Her husband is a real piece of work. DUI, won't put her name on the house deed, religious, breaks her stuff, blames her for the kid being premature, anger issues, won't allow her to work (probably so she can't save money to get away). Plus in-laws that love him and hate her.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/1d4txe8/my_husband_wants_me_to_get_off_birth_control/

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He has been quite insufferable lately about this. We have two little ones, back to back, two c section nonetheless so the dr made it clear that I needed to go on birth control because my body needed time to recover and a third pregnancy soon could be dangerous. So I have an iud right now and he wants me to take it off I’m not even one year postpartum with my second and dr said it at least needed 18 months between pregnancy but also I don’t want any more kids so there’s that.

But he wants us to use natural family planning or whatever the name is, I don’t because I know he won’t respect the schedule or calendar I don’t know how you would call it but hope you get it and I’m still breastfeeding so I’m not even sure we would know my fertility window I haven’t had a period in a while. Anyway he guilts trip me and is mad about it as hell because I won’t give in. I know this is controlling even though he makes plenty of excuses why I need to get off it. I’m good with my two little ones they’re a lot of work already and take all my energy and time. Disclaimer this is just a vent because sometimes I have to get things off my chest and I have no one to listen, no need to tell me to leave, I know my situation sucks but it is what it is, im just venting.

And based on this comment, it seems that if you have an abusive partner, something like an IUD or an implant may not be tamper-proof. I've heard of baby-rabid women removing their own IUDs, but never a partner reaching in and ripping it out because he wants a loaf and she doesn't. Apparently she wanted to get her tubes tied while opened up from the C-section, but the doctor refused to do it because she's "only" 26.

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Sadly this is not necessarily true. I'm a student midwife and have had patients whose abusive partners ripped theirs out. I knew of a patient (not mine) whose partner cut their nexplanon out of their arm. Hopefully OPs husband is safe, but the fact that he's pushing for this at this time is a huge red flag.

Sounds like she let an abuser charm his way into her life and probably once he got a ring on her finger, turned off all the facades and showed his true colors. I hope she can either find birth control he can't fuck with or can get the hell away. I wouldn't even take the brats with me. Let him deal with them since he wanted them. What a fucking shitshow.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 02, 2024
From the other pit of breeder despair - AITA - Moo asks if she's an asshole for telling her friend she married and bred with a worthless man-baby who, despite being unemployed for several years, cannot watch his own kids because he's "not good with them."

Then, uhhh, how's about you GET GOOD WITH THEM?? Since you're their PARENT?? The hell kind of a horseshit excuse is that?

The author tells her friend her husband is useless because the Moo friend wanted the author to brat-sit her new loaf. She wants the author to watch her kid "as a favor" while she goes to work because she's too poor to afford daycare. She was wise to say no because that "just a favor" would turn into a regular thing.

I also see no mention of paying the author for her time, so I assume she would be expected to do it for free. I also love how this woman seems to think the author has free time with a newborn and a six-year-old. Force Duh to watch the kids. They may not get ideal care, but they probably won't die and it's free.

https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1cx8dfr/aita_for_telling_my_friend_its_not_my_problem_she/

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I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).

I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).

Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.

My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.

It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.

She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….

I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.

Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.

Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.

She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.

I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.

Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 04, 2024
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Cambion
From the other pit of breeder despair - AITA - Moo asks if she's an asshole for telling her friend she married and bred with a worthless man-baby who, despite being unemployed for several years, cannot watch his own kids because he's "not good with them."

Then, uhhh, how's about you GET GOOD WITH THEM?? Since you're their PARENT?? The hell kind of a horseshit excuse is that?

The author tells her friend her husband is useless because the Moo friend wanted the author to brat-sit her new loaf. She wants the author to watch her kid "as a favor" while she goes to work because she's too poor to afford daycare. She was wise to say no because that "just a favor" would turn into a regular thing.

I also see no mention of paying the author for her time, so I assume she would be expected to do it for free. I also love how this woman seems to think the author has free time with a newborn and a six-year-old. Force Duh to watch the kids. They may not get ideal care, but they probably won't die and it's free.

First off, this woman is a mother. She planned everything. The problem with doing so is that it incites the wrath of breeders who plan nothing because gawd will provide or some other horseshit. If I would have wanted kids and been able to afford them the breeders would have been enough to dissuade me from doing so. Breeders are ubiquitous and since there is both strength and stupidity in numbers they are the most vocal and find plenty of others to serve as an echo chamber for their pettiness, jealousy and entitlement.

I remember seeing this in other kids as a kid. You plan for something, they do not and they take out their anger on you/bully you for being prepared.

The moo needs to grow a spine and take her frustration out on the person who deserves it which is her worthless husband instead of beating up her friend over it. And she needs to apologize for her misplaced anger because her friend didn't do anything wrong. But we all know sooner or later moo will keep blowing up until she loses the friendship with this woman.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 04, 2024
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Cambion
Sounds like she let an abuser charm his way into her life and probably once he got a ring on her finger, turned off all the facades and showed his true colors. I hope she can either find birth control he can't fuck with or can get the hell away. I wouldn't even take the brats with me. Let him deal with them since he wanted them. What a fucking shitshow.

It sounds like "she makes him feel inferior" in some way and he punishes her for it. It is too bad she didn't see the warning signs of this and dump him. If he waited until she was pregnant to become abusive her best bet would have been to have left and had an abortion. Even if she is pro-life, it would have been something to consider. Now he is in her life for decades and abusing her and will do the same to the children.

He may have waited until the baby was born to become abusive but there are usually subtle signs beforehand.
That one moo with the abusive partner frustrates me in a way. I guess leaving with kids is much harder than leaving without them, but MAN. All she wants is to vent and I suspect that any real decent advice will be ignored. I hope she wakes up and realizes what's going on there. Nobody deserves that kind of shit, moo or not.

I get it. Leaving is tough. I had to do it and I didn't have kids and it wasn't easy but it's even more important for her because she's subjecting her loaves to an unstable and abusive person. She has a higher responsibility to her kids to do the right thing and look out for their best interest.

Thing is, there are a lot of resources available for women needing to escape this sort of situation with their kids. Shelters for battered women may not be an ideal situation, but they are necessary. I couldn't really use one because that would've meant leaving my animals behind and I wasn't going to do that. At least with kids, she'd be accepted there.

Venting is great but it sounds like she knows her situation sucks. I had to finish my education and get a job before I could even think of leaving and I know it takes time and planning, but she really doesn't have a choice. This kind of abuser would likely have no problem killing her if he felt the need.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 04, 2024
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Venting is great but it sounds like she knows her situation sucks. I had to finish my education and get a job before I could even think of leaving and I know it takes time and planning, but she really doesn't have a choice. This kind of abuser would likely have no problem killing her if he felt the need.

Even if she cannot see where it's going, the rest of the world can. He's going to keep badgering her to get pregnant. He may even be one of those assholes who rips out the IUD. She has a serious problem on her hands and it's not going to get better.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 05, 2024
My sister is dealing with a coworker in an abusive situation who keeps venting to her. She keeps going back to him and I have a theory as to why. Let me know what you think.

Some women, and I am sure some men too, have the need to be in an Adult Relationship. I mean a sexual intimate relationship in a couple where they are the most important people and the "rest of the world" does not matter.

These people crave this Adult Relationship and so get into abusive ones.

When other people like their friends tell them the situation is bad, we are "the rest of the world" and do not matter. mental health professionals are probably the RoTW too.

I have never been married so I am asking, am I onto something here? For example, one of my sisters has been unhappy in her marriage for 30 years and will not divorce, though she complains about him constantly. We have told her to divorce him for decades, even her daughters have, but are we the "rest of the world" that a married couple ignores because we don't have an Adult Relationship?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 06, 2024
In some cases, I think it's a matter of the abuser convincing the victim that they don't deserve better, or that they will never make it in life without the abuser. That, or the abuse has become so normalized to them that they take the abuser back because, "Oh, it's not so bad" or they have become conditioned to believe that they did something to warrant being abused and so it was their fault.

In other cases, the abuser has made it so the victim has no support network and no money. They alienate the victim from their friends and family and either don't give them access to money or only give them a small allowance. This way, they have no one telling them their relationship is not okay and telling them to leave, and the victim has no way to save money for an escape plan.

And yes, sometimes the victims' heads are so deep in the sand that they don't want to hear anyone tell them their abusive partner is bad and that they need to get away. Or they can't get away, so all they can do is complain to someone. I think some of them develop a sort of Stockholm syndrome and anyone who tells them their abusive partner needs to go will just go in one ear and out the other.

For some of these people, they may be so desperate to be in a relationship that they will shack up with anyone, even an abuser. For others, I think being raised by abusive parents can normalize abuse and make them more prone to getting involved with abusers and being unable to realize abuse is happening. It could be any number of factors, but at the end of the day, the point to take home from this is it's not easy to get away from an abuser. Even if the victim is well aware of the abuse, it could potentially become dangerous for them to leave, and there is no telling if the abuser would attempt to harm or kill their victim and their kids in retaliation over an escape attempt.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 08, 2024
I agree with everything you said Cambion, and I would add that some of these women were raised in misogynistic/fundie households where women are treated like slaves from the moment they are born. They grow up being taught they deserve to be treated like dirt because they have a vagina. That level of deprogramming takes time, and there will likely be a few false starts along the way.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 09, 2024
Here's another charmer. I swear, "Am I over-reacting" is a misnomer 99.9% of the time.

Usually the answer is, no, if anything, you are under-reacting.

AIO for refusing to change my name because my husband won’t clean up after himself?

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TLDR; my husband says he won’t clean up empty beer cans covered in dip spit until I legally change my last name to his. Am I overreacting by intentionally not changing it now?

My husband and I got married about a month ago, just a “sign the papers thing” since it’s my second and he agreed he didn’t want a wedding. I agreed to go by his last name colloquially if people used it and said eventually I’d do it legally.

However, I have a 5 year old from my first marriage and a 2 month old from ours who is breast fed. My husband sometimes works long hours, so I have been single parenting all day and evening for about a month now. Even when he is home in the evenings around dinner he doesn’t help with either kid and just watches TV. He will drink 3- 4 cans of beer, leave them on our coffee table, and dispose of chunks of dip on the top of the cans. Sometimes he will move them to the kitchen counter. (Side note- he told me he would stop dipping when I got pregnant. He says he technically did because now his dip only has nicotine and no tobacco).

Also, I changed my name for my first marriage and it’s a lot more leg work than just getting a new ss card, which he can’t seem to understand. He thinks it’s a universal automatic thing that just magically applies to everything else in your life (yes I have explained this to him, doesn’t change anything).

The other night he brought up me legally changing my name and then texted me about it the next morning. I responded with a picture of his beer can/ dip pile and said “clean up after yourself”. He said he would clean up once my name was changed.

As you can imagine, I have been asking him to clean up after himself for years. He will do it once or twice but more often than not I wake up to a messy, beer can filled living room that smells like dip spit. The dip spit is also found in every sink in the house, the toilet and the tub, in counters, tables etc. I try to be sympathetic because he works long hours and is on call about once a month.

As I said earlier I have two children in the house who have to live with his mess everyday, with which he seems to have no problem. He also is pushing me to have another baby as soon as possible, which is def not happening because it’s both unhealthy AND I don’t want to being more children into this house in this state, which I’ve explained to him as well.

Am I overreacting to say there’s no way I’m going through the process of changing my name when he is incapable of being considerate of our home AND thinks that giving me an ultimatum to do the bare minimum should motivate me to change it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1dc8x0l/aio_for_refusing_to_change_my_name_because_my/

Forget the name change--the woman needs a divorce.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 11, 2024
I like that the main priority for this woman is the disgusting spit and cans everywhere and not that he is pressuring her to loaf again after just having crapped one out for him two months ago. The whole thing is about how she hates his gross habits and then mentions in passing the very major issue of him wanting to knock her up again immediately after she gave birth like it's an afterthought. Sounds like someone with their priorities in order.

Let me guess: she married the guy figuring that he would magically change all his bad habits for her the moment they made it legal. A lot of men are perfectly content to live in a home surrounded by their own self-made filth, like dirty underwear all over the floor, toenail clippings on the coffee table, hair shavings in the sink, shit smears in the toilet and urine all over the floor. His mess does not phase him and so he has no reason to clean it up, not even for his own children because since it's not causing him any harm, it will not cause them any harm either.

Hopefully the guy has some kind of redeeming quality to make up for the fact he's such a slob. And why does he require her to change her name legally before he's willing to something as basic as clean up after himself? The better question is if the Moo actually believes him when he says he'll magically become a neat freak the second she takes his name. He probably figures if it bothers her enough to make her bitch about it, it will bother her enough to accept his ultimatum. Then I'm sure he will proceed to not uphold his end of the bargain for some bullshit made up reason.

I really hope this woman has some kind of birth control her award winner of a husband cannot fuck with. If he's pushing hard for another loaf before Moo is done healing from making the first one, I would not put it past him to sabotage pills and condoms.

I don't know if it's better to ask where these women find these losers, or what losers fucking raise these swine to think this behavior is acceptable.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 12, 2024
This one comes to us from Regretful Parents.

This CF friend is the perfect friend. She does all of the things that breeders say they want their CF friends to do, yet this moo is thinking about cutting the CF friend off. Why? Because Moo’s life sucks and the CF friend’s life does not, and the moo cannot handle it.

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I’m so jealous of my childfree friend it’s driving me insane
I’m so jealous of my childfree friend it’s driving me insane

Hi everyone,
Throwaway account I just need to vent. I have a 3 year old son. I was 22 when I got pregnant. It was a planned pregnancy but honestly I don’t know what was I thinking. I felt like me and my partner had it figured out at the time and he was the one who really wanted a baby and I just sort of went with the flow. We definitely weren’t ready.

At the time I had a coworker (both of us have quit the job since) who is super childfree, let’s call her Julia. She became my best friend and I will bitch about her in this post but I realize I could not have done it without her. Julia always says she would never ruin her body like that, and she says she’s “more than that”. She’s also radical feminist so sometimes she says stuff like “i would never humiliate myself by raising a child for someone who all he had to do was cum inside/jerk off inside of me” and it bothers me a bit. I had the same point of view until I became the guy who let a man cum inside and now I’m trapped for the rest of my life. It’s frustrating as hell! Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend but I feel like our relationship was a lot better when it wasn’t for the baby.

She knew our circumstances and despite her opinion on pregnancy she was my #1 supporter. Changed her rhetoric to “I applaud all women who go through this. It’s such a unique experience. Your body is so strong” thank you but I know you’re being fake. She saw that I wasn’t having my “dream” pregnancy and she really did all she could to make my parenthood memorable and great. Every week she would be informed about the size of my baby at the given week, what parts of his body were developing, she would buy me snacks and fruits all the time, she bought a lot of stuff for my son before and after he was born, she did all the pregnant acitivies with me she saw on tiktok and she threw me the greatest gender reveal/baby shower party I could think of. I was upset cause while she got to be excited about all of this I also had to suffer through the dark side of the pregnancy throughout all her fun days.

Fast forward to my son being born, Julia is always around ready to help. Driving me to doctor appointments and genuinely having a great time. But I wasn’t having a great time- I was parenting. For her it’s fun but for me it’s my daily reality I cant escape. Now my son is 3 years old, she comes to play with him or takes him for a couple of hours when I need a break. Her and her boyfriend take him places, learn new things with him and I feel like I failed as a parent. She speaks to my child in English (we’re not native speakers) so he can learn second language at early age. I couldn’t care less to do that. she’s just overly motivated. My son loves her but cries when I’m supposed to pick him up. It’s driving me mad

I’m jealous of Julia cause she decided to remain childfree but still gets to enjoy kids and parenthood, in a way. She gets the best of both worlds basically. I hate that my son loves her like that, I hate that my bf says why cant you be like Julia. I hate that I have a child I cant just put away when I don’t feel like being with him while she gets to enjoy her life to the fullest. I hate seeing how excited she is when helping me. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate what she’s doing but I hate how happy and excited she is doing things that I have to suffer through.

This is fueling me with so much jealousy. I wish I remained childfree and just became full time aunt like Julia . Besides not having a child her relationship is in much better shape than mine as well. She keeps asking when are we going to have a second child and I so want to tell her to fuck off and have her own. I want to see her suffer too - not because I hate her, but I hate how much better her life is because she chose to remain childfree.

I’m on the verge of cutting contact with her because her happiness is making me depressed

Surprisingly, most of the comments are calling the moo out on being a terrible person. They manage to get their digs in towards the CF, though.

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/s/2bDkzlbQhi

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 13, 2024
Sounds like sour grapes to me. Dumbfuck Moo went and bred early and ruined her life while her CF friend basically gets to enjoy grandparent perks: brat-sit on her terms and enjoy the "fun" moments, then hand Junior back when she's ready to go back to her clean, quiet house.

Never mind the CF friend expressed interest in her friend's pignasty out of friendship and concern and trying to be a part of her life despite their differing views on reproduction. Or the fact she was supportive the whole time Moo was up the duff, threw her a big shower, teaches the kid English since it's not his first language, hauling her ass and the loaf to appointments.

Forget all the ways the CF friend has helped her ass this whole fucking time, let's be bitter about the fact she didn't also ruin her life with a brat! Does Moo realize that if her friend displayed a similar lack of brain cells and bred when she was unprepared to do so, she may not have been able to do all these things for Moo or her kid?

No kidding her relationship is better - kids are fucking land mines to relationships, and even the strongest ones can easily crumble and fail with the introduction of a brat. I agree the Moo should not have bred, but try telling a baby-rabid 20-something not to wreck their life with a tiny dependent asshole. But unless she pulls a PNA (and it's the season for them), she's stuck with this kid she chose to make. I guarantee she's gonna tell her friend about her bitter jealousy and the friendship will probably end, and then Moo will have to find someone else to be the cool aunt to her spawn. I will not feel the least bit sorry for her when she loses a source of significant support all because she's an envious bitch.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 13, 2024
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Cambion

I guarantee she's gonna tell her friend about her bitter jealousy and the friendship will probably end, and then Moo will have to find someone else to be the cool aunt to her spawn. I will not feel the least bit sorry for her when she loses a source of significant support all because she's an envious bitch

It’s a given that moo is already sprinkling their interactions with “it must be nice” -type comments. Even the nicest people have a breaking point. It probably won’t be long until the CF friend reaches hers.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 19, 2024
I hang out on cleaning forums on Reddit and it's unsurprising how many things get ruined by brats.

Exhibit A, Moo's brat ruins her new couch by peeing on it repeatedly. Moo calls this a "potty regression."

What the ever loving fuck is that? Can we just call it what it is, which is bratty behavior? Given how late brats are potty trained these days, it's likely this kid knows EXACTLY what he's doing.

If I had pulled a stunt like this ONE TIME in the house I grew up in, I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week. (Rightly so.) This kid peed on the couch multiple times. How did they not notice it and smell it? And are they watching this kid?

One of the commenters called it "a sponge full of pee you cannot wash." two faces puking two faces puking : dp

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I recently splurged for a beautiful Lovesac couch (over $6,000) and someone in my family decided a month later to have a potty regression.

He has peed a high volume of pee (not just a little accident) many times (like three or more times).

The cushion covers are machine washable (which is why we bought this couch) so the covers do not stink. But of course the pee permeated the cushions themselves. Many cushions.

We have already sprayed these cushions with Nature's Miracle. Days later, the smell remained. Next, we sprayed them with a vinegar solution. A day later, the smell remains.

It seems it is worse when the kids jump around and play with the cushions. Stopping them from doing this is hard as they're little boys and we live in a small house.

Does anyone have any advice? If there are no other options... will the smell ever fade?

I am pretty desperate as the smell has begun to give me a nightly headache - or maybe it's the anxiety about the smell. And small house means we can't just go hang out in another room.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CleaningTips/comments/1dj6gu8/someone_peed_many_times_on_my_brand_new_very/
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 20, 2024
I've heard other Moos in r/breakingmoo mention "potty regressions." Basically it just means the brat was pissing and shitting in the toilet just fine and then all of a sudden, they decide to start soiling themselves or pissing elsewhere. I don't know what causes it, but if I had to guess, it's probably kids being little assholes and not getting their own way, so they decide to pee all over something.

But yeah, good luck cleaning that Lovesac, Moo. Best she can probably do is wait for the pee to dry and hopefully the smell will fade over time. If the brat has pissed a large amount of urine multiple times into the same couch, that is not a potty training regression. That is a child pissing all over something with complete intention and he needs his ass spanked every time he does it because it sounds like he's not suffering any consequences, so what reason does he have to knock this shit off? He should also be forced to help clean it.

She can either learn to get over the smell and risk her asshole child pissing all over it some more, or she can burn her $6K couch, get a new one and put a plastic cover over it like old people do with their furniture. I can see a dog or cat peeing on the furniture, but why are the fucking HUMAN BEINGS in this house allowed to expel their bodily fluids into the couch? Just another reason to never sit on anything in a breeder hovel. You never know if that couch you're sitting on is a brat piss sponge and you might have to go home with someone else's pee on your pants.

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Moo
It seems it is worse when the kids jump around and play with the cushions. Stopping them from doing this is hard as they're little boys and we live in a small house.

That's probably because when the brats play with and jump on the cushions, the pressure they exert on the couch is causing pee particles to get pushed out of the couch and become airborne. Like have you ever jumped on an old piece of furniture and then get a big poof of dust shoots out of the cushions? Same idea.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 20, 2024
Duh doesn't want to deal with accidents that often accompany potty training, so he wants to keep his awtard child in diapers forever because it's easier for him to deal with when her messes are contained.

Moo puts the kid in underwear to try and teach her some kind of bodily awareness, but Duh puts her in pull-ups and prevents her from entering the bathroom by putting up a child safety gate. He says she will only be ready when she is able to say she is ready, but the child is also non-verbal, so she will never say this.

Because why would you ever step outside your comfort zone to help teach your child a little independence when you can infantilize them so you aren't inconvenienced? That's something a decent parent might do! Of course I'm sure Duh hasn't changed a single diaper the entire time his brat has been alive - I'm sure that's Moo's job. It's super easy to call the shots when someone else does all the shit work for you.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/1di5ic6/how_do_i_potty_train_a_resistant_spouse/

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Bromos, I am losing my mind and my patience. My autistic daughter just turned four and I’m finally trying to go full on with potty training. I wanted to try last summer but my husband convinced me she wasn’t ready and to wait. I think the real deal was he just didn’t want to have to deal with it. I took off a week last week and worked with her pretty intensely with the support of my daughter’s therapists.

In my opinion she made a lot of progress in terms of being more aware of her body. She’s now sometimes self initiating by walking to the bathroom and pulling down her pants and sitting herself on the toilet. She’s nonverbal and is learning to use an AAC device, so I don’t think it’s realistic to expect her to tell us when she needs to go, but she can show us if we let her. I am back at work this week and husband generally looks after her from when she gets home from preschool/camp around 2pm until I get off work at 5:30pm.

I want to keep her in underwear as much as possible to allow her to keep building that body awareness. Husband refuses and is keeping her in pull-ups with no ability to independently access the bathroom by herself (child gate keeping her in the playroom). He says she’s not ready for potty training and he won’t believe she is until she can ask us to go before she needs to go. How in the hell do I deal with this man? He would keep her in diapers forever without giving her a chance, just because she’s autistic and he doesn’t want to clean up accidents.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 20, 2024
Why does anyone spend $6000 on a sofa when they can buy one for less than $600 at Big Lots? Still a lot of material to go into a landfill because of "potty regression".

As for the husband, yeah why not keep her in Pull Ups, she probably points them out to him when they go shopping (yes, some kids do that)
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 21, 2024
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mr. neptune
Why does anyone spend $6000 on a sofa when they can buy one for less than $600 at Big Lots? Still a lot of material to go into a landfill because of "potty regression".

I didn't even know Lovesac made normal couches. The only furniture I've ever seen from them is gigantic beanbags that can hold two or more people. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want one because they're pretty comfy and a nifty alternative to a regular couch, but that four-figure price tag is not worth it.

I wonder how big of a couch she even got because the 5-seater Lovesac sofa is a little over $4,000. The kicker is there are even more expensive ones! There is a couch on Lovesac's website that seats 10 people that is $15,000+. I don't even see what's so special about them, they just look like regular sectional sofas to me. I could see if she wanted the beanbag because those seem to be unique, but I don't see what's special about the couches. I'd sooner go to a thrift store and buy a worn-in couch full of farts for $30 than blow that kind of money on a sectional. Or hasn't this woman ever heard of the Buy Nothing group on Fakebook or the Marketplace? I guarantee she could get something similar for a fraction of the cost or even for free.

Or something else Moo could do is not buy nice/expensive things while her brats are still under the age of 18. Because one of the first rules of parenthood is that you cannot have nice things. You cannot have nice things because your kids' spidey senses will activate and they will go out of their way to seek and destroy those things. Expensive makeup? Junior will find it, dig out all the product and smear it into the carpet. Designer bag? It will get drawn on with permanent markers, no matter how well you hide those markers. $200 face cream? Junior will eat it and then you'll have to haul his ass to the ER to either induce vomiting or get his stomach pumped.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 23, 2024
Kid is intolerant to gluten and it sounds like Moo tries to feed the kid foods that will not make her sick. Duh, on the other hand, seems to think her health issues are bullshit and will feed the kid whatever he wants and blames the inevitable bathroom explosions on an imaginary attitude problem the daughter has.

I personally do not have any digestive issues like this and so I don't know what it's like to deal with them, but I imagine it's not easy with the risk of cross-contamination. And while I know people jumped on the gluten-free bandwagon and it did become a fad among people who did not need to eat gluten-free, that doesn't mean gluten intolerance isn't real. So Duh is perfectly willing to feed his kid food that will sicken her and cause her pain all because he thinks she's just lazy. I've heard some folks with gluten intolerance or Celiac disease say that their condition can be severe enough that a single exposure to gluten can make them feel like crap for weeks. I don't know if this is an exaggeration or not, but if your kid is legitimately allergic to something, why would you intentionally expose them to the offending allergens?

I'm sure it'll make the kid feel great when she realizes Duhddy fed her stuff that would make her sick because he thought her health problems were made up and didn't care that he made her ill. I also have a strong feeling that when the kid eats gluten and has a messy accident, Duh is not the one cleaning her up. Actually that might be for the best because I can imagine him berating the kid for having an accident and giving her a fucking complex.

It sucks, but it sounds like Moo is gonna have to take over all feeding duties because Duh can't be arsed to care. Otherwise she's going to be shitting her brains out every day and Duh will blame her for it.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/1dly60s/morning_ruined_over_glutenfree_biscuits/

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Our daughter was recently diagnosed with a gluten intolerance. Her dad thinks it's bs and wants her retested. He doesn't understand, even though I've explained it to him, she's been gluten free for so long now that the tests wouldn't be accurate. And the fact that blood work and an endoscopy aren't something you want to put your 7 year old through twice because her dad is a dumbass.

While making gluten free biscuits this morning he moaned and groaned the entire time. Complaining about how stupid it was and how long I was taking.

I'm trying my best here. I'm trying so hard to do things right for our daughter. The lack of support I have makes it so much harder. I don't see him making any gluten free biscuits and gravy so our daughter can have her all time favorite breakfast.

He would just rather feed her whatever and act like a 7 year old having bathroom accidents is because she is "lazy and doesn't care."
Poor kid. That's child abuse. If I was the moo, I'd tell him that much and give him an ultimatum if he didn't stop doing that.

My friend's daughter (she's an adult) has celiac and it's a bummer because when I invite them over, I can't give her much because I'm so worried about cross-contamination. She gets really sick if she has gluten and I don't want to be responsible for anything going wrong.

As for the kid peeing on the couch, even my dog doesn't behave like that! They need to chuck the couch and buy something really cheap or used, and accept that expensive things in their home is just a waste of money. I would never spend 6 grand on a sofa, I don't care how fucking comfortable it is. That's just nuts. I just recently had to replace my sofa and I bought something really nice online and it's perfectly fine. Cost me $650.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices
June 26, 2024
This isn't from breakingmom, but the gist of the post could be from there.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/1dodwa0/summer_with_young_childrenwho_is_on_the_verge_of/

linky <<<----click me


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u/enmodefarnient
I tagged this as humor, but there is nothing funny about this.

We’re closing out our first month of summer break and I find no joy in being around my own children. I have a ton of home projects I wanted to complete…most are incomplete or not even started. Instead, I spend my days refereeing petty arguments and bouts of aggravating between my two children, both under ten years old. I shuttle them to different parks/splash pads, the pool and play dates here and there.

In the past, I kept my little one enrolled in day care and spent tons of money on a string of camps for the eldest. I decided to buckle down on the budget (and test my sanity) by keeping them both at home with the exception of two camps.

I’m over it. I’m tired of not being able to do one single thing without hearing them whining, hearing my name called, or seeing the five millions messes they have made while I have been cleaning up the last one. I am tired of not being able to make a necessary phone call (medical, finance, general life) without having to excuse myself to deal with my children. I am tired of not having a second to myself until my husband comes home at almost 7pm each night. Even then, he wonders what is for dinner and I am so tired of playing Cinderella, so I get upset with him.

Am I the only one rowing this boat?

What, did you expect having kids would be all unicorns and rainbow farts? As a teacher, she's in a unique position to know how hard and unrewarding having kids are. They are a bottomless pit of neediness.

Apparently, the OP was hoping she could dump them on the grandparents. Various replies by OP.

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u/enmodefarnient

My parents have both passed away. My FIL works and my MIL is a hypochondriac who won’t watch our children unless he is there because she takes frequent naps throughout the day and doesn’t want to deal with them for long periods. (bolding is mine)

They were just here visiting and my husband mentioned them taking them for a couple of days and…crickets.

-------------------------------------------------

My mom kept her grandchildren (before mine were born) even when she was going through cancer treatments, so it is bewildering to me that my MIL can’t/won’t keep them for two days to help us out.



Nobody is owed free babysitting by the grandparents. Grandparents raised their children back when abortion and birth control weren't available and people didn't have choices. They made the choice to have children so it's their responsibility to raise them or pay for daycare. The fact that the MIL is using naps as a reason to avoid the kids tells me that they must be absolute hellspawn to be around, because I've never met any grandparent that doesn't want to spend time with their grandkids.

I will also add that the father is a douche in this matter, too, becuase he's not stepping up to help care for the children he chose to make. If it takes two people to make a baby, it takes two people to raise them.
I don't get how I KNEW as a kid (I was raised as an only kid because my two sisters are much older than I am) that parenthood was nothing but a drag and a burden? I've known this since fucking elementary school!

My goodness people really are stupid and gullible if they believe that their experience with parenting will be any different than the vast majority of other people out there.

I also agree with the one commenter who states that loaf-sitting isn't the responsibility of the grandparents. She needs to make proper arrangements. Most people who are old don't have the energy to look after kids. I'm old and have health problems and would never be able to look after kids for an extended time. Not only that, but I wouldn't want to.

I swear people take a longer time choosing which vacuum cleaner to buy than thinking about what it's like to have kids. At least with a vacuum cleaner, you can take it back to the store if you change your mind.
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