I'm guessing she didn't wake up today with these realizations. After the first one proved so bad, why have a second and then a third? And what is to stop a fourth?

She would have been much better off hiring a nanny to take care of the first one and limiting her exposure to those perfect Kodak moments she longs for. Another hopeless Disney princess!

Cambion writes it better than those with first-hand experience because she is observant, aware and a great writer.

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twocents

Long story short, my spouse and have lived with his mother since I was 7 months pregnant. I stood up for myself saying she doesn’t need to wonder what I am doing since we all live here and pay rent equally. I’m not under supervision!

Paying "rent equally" doesn't mean she can control the behavior of those she lives with. Clearly her choice of housemates wasn't a good one. She can't be financially needy and expect to control the dynamic of where she lives, she is going to be at the mercy of those she lives with.

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Ketchup
What a fucking nutbar!

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I remember sleepless nights crying because how much I wanted children.

She was what, 19 when she got knocked up the first time? For fucks sake. That's so pathetic.

I'm wondering if she was one of those 19 year old's who never spent any time with brats. Who else could be this delusional?

And why are you crying because you want a brat? Sounds like PMS to me.

I mean, cry over something you cannot help, like having terminal cancer. A 19 year old woman who wants brats, can have brats if she wants to.

It sounds to me like she was raised to see women as Breeders she felt like a "failure" because it wasn't happening soon enough. I also get this vibe when she found out she was pregnasty for the third time.

It's not that she really wants a kid--she wants the attention. She wants to shove her bloated gut in everyone's face and be treated like a Disney Princess.

There is a reason why women with higher intelligence and more education are statistically more likely to have fewer brats or no brats at all. It's because they realize there are other things to do in life, and they have options. And that having brats and especially raising brats are thankless, dirty jobs.

bell, I watch 'the resident' but you been watching that class act asshole Padme? Was so damn moronic baby rabid and desperate for baaabbbeeee... ended up with twins.. that damn near killed her .. 'have to save baaaabbbeeee'.. few days into the shitstains being at home was reduced to blubbering in the bathroom. (no sympathy from me because I think she is the epitome of stupidity).

last one the damn bint looks like she may jump off a bridge. I can't stand the asshole. and the sister having to put up with this crapping bullshit. that african doctor was put in the same position by her breeder sister... and using fucking 'famblee' card on it. personally I would have told both of the breeder wannabees to go fuck a porcupine and see what came of it.

wow, you can be so fucked up mentally but you can be a gooooood maaawwwmmmeeee. gag me with a spoon... I hate it because it sends the wrong message and it doesn't always end wall. usually these cunts take their sex trophies with them

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Twocents, I do not watch the Resident. I thought you were talking about Padme in Star Wars, whom I also found to be pathetic.

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bell_flower
P.S. What she writes about everything sucking reminds me so much of stuff that Cambion has written. Cambion is spot on, and she doesn't even have kids!

The sucky parts of having children are there if you let yourself see them.

I got a pretty damn good idea of what parenthood entails between observing parents in real life, reading countless stories online from unhappy breeders, and the handful of times I've had to deal with kids myself. I also understood that what I know is not only terrible, but it's also just the tip of the iceberg! Knowing how bad that tip is makes full immersion into parenting seem so, so much worse. And from the looks of things, I'm not wrong.

Like you said, I let myself see this stuff for what it really was. I didn't delude myself like many women do and say, "MY kids won't be that way!" as logic for having kids anyway, only to find out they still suck. You don't have to engage in something personally to understand it's going to be awful. The power of observation is extraordinarily underrated when it comes to the decision to reproduce or not and I wish more people would try it before making unnecessary kids they wind up hating. I don't have to get stabbed to know it's an unpleasant experience.

Almost nobody considers the downsides and difficulties in having brats, which comprises about 99 percent of the experience. Most people are dumb and focus on the slim one percent of it that is supposed to be worthwhile, like playing video games with their kid or witnessing their first steps or baking cookies together or whatever. It's like buying a car just because you like the color of it and not finding out if its actual functionality will meet your needs (seriously, what is with my comparisons to cars and breeding??) Nobody has rosy fantasies of getting 1.5 hours of collective sleep in the span of ten days because of a colicky infant. Nobody waxes poetic about cleaning shit and urine out of a vent because their child goes everywhere but in the toilet. No pregnant woman pats her gut and goes, "I sure hope you're so brain-damaged that you require lifelong care!"

the resident is a rather good show although, like all the others, they get bogged down with stupid kid, baby, broodsow crap.

padme of star wars was sad.. not sure if pathetic but sad.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

This is why you never fucking have a brat for someone else. Moo has been dependent on her partner since she was 17 and at the age of 22, got herself knocked up and her partner threatened to leave her if she got an abortion. Big shock, she's now miserable having to raise this kid she never wanted. Oh, but her partner is such a good partner! If a man threatens to leave you for aborting an unwanted pregnancy, he is not a good partner. So she kept it.

And to the surprise of nobody, this woman has absolutely nothing going for her. No job, no money, no car, no degree, no mention of family, no nothing. Her "wonderful" partner owns the car she drives. Of course she came from a damaged home, which makes her much more vulnerable to abuse because having a fucked childhood often makes a person unable to recognize signs of abuse because, for them, abuse is "normal."

I'm also venturing a guess that the Duh is significantly older than she is. Not that there is anything wrong with a large age gap between partners, but I have a feeling this woman was preyed upon by a manipulative older man when she was still a teenager and she jumped at the opportunity to be loved by anybody at all after being abandoned by her own Moo.

https://old.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/zh5f9f/my_partner_said_he_would_leave_me_if_i_had_an/

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I feel like such a fucking idiot. After 5 years of being with my partner, I got pregnant at 22. I completely shut down, I went into shock. Every fiber of my being was telling me I can’t have this baby. I desperately wanted an abortion but my partner (who I’m extremely enmeshed with and dependent on since age 17) said he would leave me if I went through with that. He was furious with me, yelling at me to make a decision while I was lying in a fetal position on my bathroom floor, crying the most primal cry I’ve ever had. I spent the next 2 weeks trying to will myself to have a miscarriage. I actually started bleeding, passed a clot, went to the ER thinking this was it, the decision is going to be made for me. Thank fuck. Had a vaginal ultrasound, and there was the heartbeat. I was devastated. He was elated.

My mental health/self worth was destroyed by my moms abandonment and drug addiction during my childhood. I have no self esteem, I’m chronically depressed and anxious and I knew I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I was hospitalized less than a year before finding out I was pregnant. I didn’t want my child to suffer because of me, grow up to hate me, be the cause of future trauma for her. But I was too much of a coward. The thought of my partner, my security, leaving me seemed worse than death. I genuinely felt I would die without him. I chose to continue the pregnancy so he wouldn’t leave me, I guess that’s how incredibly selfish I am.

After accepting it, I actually felt amazing during the rest of the pregnancy. Best I’ve ever felt, I was actually taking care of myself and determined to try to do this right for my baby. But I’ve slowly slipped back into months-long depression episodes. I’m on number 4 since she’s been born, and I feel like it has a lot to do with resentment I have for my partner. When I’m down, I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and I’m going to destroy my daughters mental health as she gets older and it makes me sick that I chose to subject another human being to my own bullshit. It makes me hate him for not supporting me, for giving me this impossible ultimatum. I’m a SAHM and the more time passes, the less capable I feel of adequately taking care of her the way she needs to be. I’ve stopped doing school with her, stopped going out with her on a daily basis, I have less patience, I just try to make it through until her bed time. She’s naturally intelligent, hit every milestone early, talks better than most 5 year olds I know. Everyone thinks I’m this great mom, but she just has that natural ability and I give myself zero credit.

I carry so much shame and guilt every single day. If it weren’t for my daughter, I would leave him immediately. He’s a wonderful partner, he takes care of me and has been a huge support system for me, always picking up the slack when I need him to. But despite how great he is, I just can’t imagine spending the rest of my life like this. Having all of this resentment build and build. I’m so angry. I’m incapable of taking care of myself. I’ve never held a steady job, I know I will not be able to support myself. But I am so miserable I have constant suicidal ideation. Like it’s the only solution to get out of this mess I’ve created.

I can’t find the courage to leave. I have no money, I have nowhere to go, he owns the car I drive, I don’t have a degree. The thought of fending for myself in this fucked up world and economy just sinks me even lower. I’m in therapy, I’ve been talking in circles about this for months. I hate myself, I hate that I wasn’t strong enough to do what I knew was right for me. Now I’m stuck. I’m just fucking stuck.

TLDR; I’m a miserable sack of shit who had a baby so my partner wouldn’t leave me

Even if she lost the baybee it would have been a matter of time before it happened again and sooner or later she would be in the exact same predicament as she is now, just older.

And since she feels that she is stuck, what is there to stop another pignasty from happening?

What I'll never understand is why so many of these women feel the need to tell their boyfriends and/or parents they're inpig and want an abortion. The boyfriends (unless childfree) are highly likely to try to get the woman to keep the brat. I'm guessing it is some pass his genes on thing, but I don't really know. Same for the parents, even the ones that may seem more liberal and think abortion is a reasonable choice become helluv conservative when it comes to their dotters sluicing, her der it is okay for womankind but NOT for my dotter!

If I ever have an abortion I won't tell my significant other and certainly not my family. If my significant other wants a brat he can adopt one or find a willing victim to have one on his behalf.

And there seems to be a direct correlation between the amount of fervor an idiot threatens a woman who dares to take the steps necessary to abort and the paltry amount of help the same idiot provides after the fact.

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And there seems to be a direct correlation between the amount of fervor an idiot threatens a woman who dares to take the steps necessary to abort and the paltry amount of help the same idiot provides after the fact.

Sadly, it's the truth and a common theme throughout most of these stories.

These dudes take EXTREME UMBRIDGE at the thought of having their sperm products removed from the woman's body, but they do fuck-all once the kid(s) get here. And it's almost always a situation of multiple brats.

There's not much great about being female and having a uterus. A woman is most likely to experience violence from an intimate partner. Then there are fuckwads in Government who are looking for legal ways to harass you over your fetus or your potential fetus.

And so many women breed for men, only to watch the men themselves turn into useless man-babies.

It's too bad more of these asshole men aren't getting cracked over the head with frying pans or kicked in the nuts.

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freya
And there seems to be a direct correlation between the amount of fervor an idiot threatens a woman who dares to take the steps necessary to abort and the paltry amount of help the same idiot provides after the fact.

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bell_flower
These dudes take EXTREME UMBRIDGE at the thought of having their sperm products removed from the woman's body, but they do fuck-all once the kid(s) get here. And it's almost always a situation of multiple brats.

This pattern hasn't gone unnoticed by me either. The men who scream the loudest about wanting brats - not necessarily only the ones who guilt/threaten/manipulate their unwilling partners into keeping unwanted pregnancies - are often the ones who do the absolute least as far as parenting. They want kids, but they don't want to deal with them because that's the woman's job. It's mighty easy to say you want something when someone else is expected to do everything in regard to caring for that something.

It's like me saying I'd like a Lamborghini, but I want someone else to buy it, maintain it, put gas in it, get it inspected, pay for any tickets I receive while driving it, pay for registration renewal every year, and fix any problems it has and I'll just take it for a spin when I feel like flaunting it.

I wish I could say it's as easy as the woman just dropping the loaves in the Duhs' laps and making them deal with the kids they screeched for, but Duhs have proven time and time again that they are perfectly content to neglect their brats for an entire day, letting them go hungry, forcing them to sit in the same filled diaper for 12+ hours, and ignoring brat crying with the help of noise-cancelling headphones.

But you tell a guy you want to abort after he gets you pregnant? You may as well be Satan. He'll give you shit about what a horrible bitch you are for wanting to "kill" his "baby" and will swear up, down, left, right, sideways and backwards that he'll be an involved parent if the woman just keeps it. Then when it comes time to cash that check his mouth made ten months later, he's living life just the same as before because Moo-wife is picking up the slack. It's not even about having kids - it's like bell_flower said, these asshats can't think past their own goddamn sex organs and are offended that the woman doesn't want the proof that he fucked her because I guess they think by refusing to be his baby-mama, she's refusing him as a man?

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Cambion

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bell_flower
P.S. What she writes about everything sucking reminds me so much of stuff that Cambion has written. Cambion is spot on, and she doesn't even have kids!

The sucky parts of having children are there if you let yourself see them.

I got a pretty damn good idea of what parenthood entails between observing parents in real life, reading countless stories online from unhappy breeders, and the handful of times I've had to deal with kids myself. I also understood that what I know is not only terrible, but it's also just the tip of the iceberg! Knowing how bad that tip is makes full immersion into parenting seem so, so much worse. And from the looks of things, I'm not wrong.

You'd pretty much have to be full-on zombie (yes mombie/duh) to not have a clue with what dealing with brats entails. Yet most fall into this bucket, somehow. I guess if one can sleepwalk up until they have a brat they'd be in the best position to continue sleep walking afterwards. And then if they wake up (over 56K existential crisis's on R alone) they can feel regret, and post about it online and be all philosophical and claim it is the fault of society for not telling them and ask if they really had a choice. Regretful parunts is in the top 5% of subs on R, that should tell them something. It was also created in 2013, so if their brats are less than 9 years old, they could have discovered that forum before sluicing.

They have the same ability to search prior to sluicing as afterwards. But so many want to play ostrich when it comes to breeding. I've been around so many that wouldn't listen to any reality on brats and were determined to have them. They claim the child-free are edgy? I've seen lots of women refuse to listen to a negative word about brats, even if parents are warning them. If anything, reasoning with them seems to fuel the fire for their imminent breeding. The edgy ones aren't so gung-ho on brats after the first mistake. Guess fantasizing about adding a tattoo with all the brats' names doesn't feel so edgy anymore after the fact. Edgy never stays edgy once it is permanent and the choice is removed, hon.

from r/regretfulparents

user/yay_more_throwaways/

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/comments/zlqqsm/i_finalized_my_plans_im_leaving_my_family_in/

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I've been thinking about running for years. But held on to the hopes that things would get better with time, as kids aged, as I matured, but every year, month, week, day gets worse. I am now beyond regret and into full hatred of my life. I won't miss the kids. I will absolutely miss my partner though. I'm pretty sure they're my soulmate.. but they'll hate me after this. No one knows that I'm leaving, I'm moving to a place with no connections to me, and I have a bit of a reserve to keep me going until I find a job and get on my feet. I also decided to start going by my middle name. I'll miss the love of my life, but I'll be happy knowing that I'll be living my life how I should've always, and my kids will be surrounded by nothing but the unconditional love they deserve

This is what happens when your kodak fantasy of the perfect life collides with the shitshow that is kids.


The comments are calling the OP a horrible, terrible person for leaving her family like this with no warning. I wonder if the OP was a man, would he be hung out to dry in the comments the way she is.

Everyone is kissing this Moo's ass on the FB regret page and they are telling her how sorry they are that she's hurting. Some are even suggesting her kid should be more independent. Trust me, if his mom is acting like this woman says she's acting, he's probably already trying to stay away from her and not set her off.

This woman's description honestly sounds like my own mother, particularly how she screams at him when he's sick and how every little thing sets her off.

Newsflash: Kids get sick! Kids require attention!

She's damaging her kid, and someone needs to rip her a new asshole, not coddle her. I feel sorry for her kid, who didn't ask to be born.

Having children is a CHOICE! She should have given him up for adoption, particularly since she apparently knew she was going to be alone from Day One.

The thing is, society cheers on these losers when they are mistreating their kids, but those of us who didn't want to deal with kids, ergo, we chose not to have them, are evil incarnate? Completely ass-backwards.

Nobody held a gun this woman's head and said "fuck." Sixteen years ago, she could have got an abortion in the U.S. without much trouble.

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“I’m burnt out and can't be bothered anymore. I’ve been a single mom from day 1, my child is 15 years old. Being a single parent is all i've known since I turned 21. Love my child, but after 15 years of nonstop autopilot being a responsible parent, i feel like my psyche is now shutting down from all the responsibilities.

I work to provide, manage household without help, sole income earner, family far away just me and him. I have no problem with the basics like making sure he is comfortable, eats well, healthy, good school, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, no problem with the basic stuff. Not exactly happy, just trained and resigned to accepting I'm a workhorse just waiting to finally be able to die once he is old enough and independent. My bandwidth is very limited. Every little unexpected thing to worry about that comes my way is enough to set me off. He cut himself accidentally on a project? I get angry. He got sick? I'm angry. His teacher calls me to meet about something? I get stressed. I can't help but sometimes lash out on him or in front of him, and then after that I kill myself with guilt. Swear to myself to never let it happen again then bam, another curve ball and I lose it. I. AM. FUCKING. TIRED! For once I just want to be not on high alert mode about solving a problem. Now, I dont even want to make small talk with him and just want to be alone in my room.

I know this is unfair for him and I feel bad for him BUT I JUST DONT WANT TO WORRY ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING EXTRA. i dont want to solve unexpected problems, and almost everyday there is one. I just could not wait to kill myself. Im just counting the years. There is nothing in life to look forward to.

No, there's no family member that could help out and allow me to take a break. Cannot afford therapy. My existence is torture. Know what's harder than dying for someone? Living for someone. Wanting to kill yourself but you just cant because you're not yet done raising and providing for someone. I can't wait for that day. Every morning I wake up alive is unbearable.”

It's fine if Moo can't afford therapy - she just has to hope her kid can because I'm sure he's going to need it. You cannot tell me this poor kid hasn't picked up on the fact that his mother hates him just for existing. She can't feel too badly about screaming at him for everything if she keeps on doing it.

This is why people need to actually think before breeding because it's not just the idiot wanna-breeders' lives that can wind up fucked up from their poor choices. The kids resulting from those choices often wind up screwed up in the head as well and it can take years of therapy to undo the damage done by their parents. And since therapy is expensive, many people who need it don't get it and then they breed and create more fucked up people.

The kid knows he's living in a powder keg and he probably already has anxiety because there's no telling what little insignificant thing is going to set Moo off at any given time. I'm sorry the Moo is so unhappy, but between the two of them, she is the one who had a choice. Her kid didn't ask to be born, but she's taking out her unhappiness on him when he had no choice in the matter - he was just forced into existence.

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Cambion
It's like me saying I'd like a Lamborghini, but I want someone else to buy it, maintain it, put gas in it, get it inspected, pay for any tickets I receive while driving it, pay for registration renewal every year, and fix any problems it has and I'll just take it for a spin when I feel like flaunting it.

If you said this people would talk about you being a nut and wonder why you are so deluded to want to buy a car you can't afford. But if it is a baybee you wanted then it would be totally normalized and few would bat an eye. Even though one isn't that much more ridiculous than the other, at least you could sell the Lambo if you experienced buyer's remorse.

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bell_flower
Everyone is kissing this Moo's ass on the FB regret page and they are telling her how sorry they are that she's hurting. Some are even suggesting her kid should be more independent. Trust me, if his mom is acting like this woman says she's acting, he's probably already trying to stay away from her and not set her off.

This looks strangely familiar to what was on regretfool parents on R....hmmmm...do the fingerprints match?

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a port in every storm moo
Throwaway account. Single mom from day 1, child is 15 years old. Being a single parent is all i've known since I turned 21. Love my child, but after 15 years of nonstop autopilot being a responsible parent, i feel like my psyche is now shutting down from all the responsibilities.

I work to provide, manage household without help, sole income earner, family far away just me and him. I have no problem with the basics like making sure he is comfortable, eats well, healthy, good school, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, no problem with the basic stuff. Not exactly happy, just trained and resigned to accepting I'm a workhorse just waiting to finally be able to die once he is old enough and independent.

My bandwidth is very limited. Every little unexpected thing to worry about that comes my way is enough to set me off. He cut himself accidentally on a project? I get angry. He got sick? I'm angry. His teacher calls me to meet about something? I get stressed.
(Purposely abbreviated)

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/comments/z7xkdg/burnt_out_and_cant_be_bothered_anymore/

bet she was a proud teenager swinging her fat belly around stating 'I'll be a better maaawwwmeee". boo hoo boo hoo, screw you you whiny bitch. sux to be you and better you than me. you could have adopted the baby out to a BETTER household than you.

frankly, you were just a warm place to put it and you fell for it because of whatever you were lacking at home or you bought into all the gaga phony images of these idiotic shows .. sux to be you. I have little sympathy anymore

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

It does indeed sound like the same person. She added this as an update:

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I'm grateful for all the supportive and empathic comments here. Today is an okay day. I woke up, reminded my son to do chores which he did but I wish I didn't have to remind him. I made his favorite dish we ate together and watched a funny movie and played a game. All laughs and hugs (we are a very affectionate family, i love you's and good night kisses almost everyday which i genuinely enjoy)We also have these fun moments in between. But sometimes it's just very unpredictable and the next minute you're thrown off.

I love him very much, want to give him only the best. Only alive for him but I really hate parenting responsibilities. I regret my being a mother, but not his existence. Can't also imagine life without him. And I feel I did him a great disservice by being his mom, i just try my best everyday.

He is doing what she wants him to do, but she's pissed off she has to remind him? Jeez, Lady, he's 15. He may need a reminder now and then but he's not being defiant.

He sounds like a pretty good kid overall.

And I will add, if one day she's lovey-dovey, and the next day she's screaming, that will be even more confusing for him.

Here's some more stuff about him and of course she has mental problems and so does he. And he's recently lost his grandfather, who was like a father to him.

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Yes, my dad, his de-facto dad passed away last year because of cancer. Was very traumatic for him. That's when all the diagnoses started coming out. Last i've heard about teens getting jobs here are not part time that one can do after school just to have extra, no one does that here. Teens who work here are out-of-school kids who work full time to put food on their table, and at the minimum wage of 8USD per day. So not worth it, with half of that going to the commute fare. It's not an option. It's cheaper and more worry-free to just keep him cozy here at home with high speed internet and snacks in front of his computer.

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I've been teaching him about responsibilities though and he seems mature for his age. His chores include the dishes, preparing laundry, cooking rice for every meal, refilling the fridge, cleaning up after himself. I know I need to teach him more than that. especially errands that include leaving the house but even for that I dont have the time and energy. And sometimes it is easier to just do it myself than scream about the dishes sitting on the sink for 2 days. He doesn't do his chores diligently.

Yes he is also diagnosed with OCD, Major depression, Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety, ADHD. I also have ADHD and possibly bipolar. I also think the 3 year pandemic has stunted his social growth too. Especially since we've moved during the pandemic. New location, lost old friends, new school. etc so he doesnt have a lot of peers yet, doesn't want to socialize. The transition from living with my parents (one of which recently died) all his life, to now the family being just the two of us is also a thing we are grappling with, if it matters.

Like all other comments here, I understand that 15 should be more independent, probably in the west, but I am from an Asian country where the culture here is that people are not so independent at that age, no job opportunities at his age that are worth it or safe, no peers that also do it. And it's not really that safe for him to just out of the house on his own or even be left alone at home for long periods of time like an adult, or maybe i've been overprotective (came from an overprotective family).

I really just want have a 2 years sabbatical from parenting, or wake up from this nightmare, or just die.

Sucks to be you, Bitch. I have sympathy for her kid, not her.

ETA: No wonder he such problems with anxiety, due to his crazy, sometimes-screaming Moo. And he recently lost the only father he had, and all she can do is rag on him?

Society bludgeons the CF with the idea that you cannot possibly know Luv or compassion unless you've whelped a brat. And Moothers are so warm and giving. This woman has ZERO compassion for her own kid and zero accountability for the decisions she made.
She sounds like a trash human.

Sorry Moo, you don't get to take a break from parenting. Why don't people understand that? Parenting is "the most important job in the world," but unlike a typical job, it's not one you can take a vacation from. I feel bad for that kid, especially if he really does have all those mental disorders and it wasn't just Moo diagnosing him using Google. If he has all that shit wrong with him and the worst thing he does is forgets the dishes now and again, Moo ought to consider herself lucky. There are kids who have no mental disorders who act far worse.

An autistic person raising another autistic person sounds like a recipe for disaster. I see it a lot in the breakingmoo sub where one or both parents have some level of autism and then their kids all have autism too. Awtards like things to be certain ways all the time, and I'd venture a guess that the odds of two awtards living together having the same triggers is pretty low, so they're probably going to piss one another off in one way or another.

Woman's Niece Ruins Her $20K Coat For A Prank Video (AITA Dec 9, '22)
CONCLUDED
Originally posted by in r/AmItheAsshole on Dec 1, '22, updated Dec 9, '22.

Original post

AITA for taking my niece to court over a coat?

I(28F) have a niece (16F). She is my only sister's only child.

2 years ago I married a very wealthy man (34M), and because of the pandemic, last Christmas was my first with my in-laws.

My MIL gifted me a coat that is worth more than $20k (I saw her wearing it, asked her where she bought it, and she said that it will be my Christmas gift from her).

I didn't know how much it was (I knew it was expensive, but I thought maybe $3k at most). I was visiting my sister last January when my niece saw it, she googled the brand and showed me how much it really was. I won't lie, I didn't wear it after that because I was afraid of ruining it.

Last week, I wore it while visiting my sister. While I was putting it back on to leave, I felt something go splat on my back, then my niece started cackling and the smell of paint hit me. I was so pissed off while she was not apologitic at all. Her mom screamed at her and said she was grounded. Then she said she will pay for the dry cleaning.

While I was in my car, still in shock BTW, I got an alert that my niece posted a reel, it was of her doing a prank on me, and she said "I'm going to hit my aunt's $20k coat with a paint filled balloon to see how she reacts". I saved it on my phone, sent it to her mom and told her that a week's grounding is not enough. She did not reply, but I saw that my niece took it down (it got less than 5 views by then).

The next day I found out my coat can not be saved, so I called my sister and told her that her daughter has to pay it back. Well, we got into an argument and she said that they will not be paying it, and if I wanted a new one, I should get my husband to buy it for me. I think that they should pay for it (they can afford to, IMO they should sell my niece's car and pay me back my money).

We did not reach an agreement, so I told her that I will be suing, and reminded her that I have video evidence that her daughter A) did it on purpose for online clout and knew exactly how expensive it was.

People in my life are not objective at all, I have some calling me an AH, some saying they are the AHs for not buying me a new one, and some so obsessed with the price of the coat that they are calling me an AH for simply owning it and wanting a new one.

So AITA?

Edit: sorry for not making it clearer, but my coat was bought new, just identical to my MIL's.

Verdict: Not the Asshole

Update 8 days later

So here is a quick update, since the situation has been resolved.

When my husband got home, I told him what happened and showed him the video.

He asked if I spoke with my BIL and I said no, all my conversations were with my sister. He said that he will take care of it.

Now, a disclaimer: I understand nothing when it comes to insurance claims, and this is what my husband told me/I understood happened.

My husband talked with my BIL, told him exactly what happened and showed him the prank video. Then he told him that the coat was insured, we will be filing a claim and submitting the video, and we might have to file charges for the claim (he assured him that we would be dropping the charges, we do not want to send niece to jail).

Then he told him that one of two things might happen: after our insurance pays us, they will come after them. If their insurance pays, their premium will skyrocket. If it doesn't, they might sue them, and might get a lien on their house.

My BIL asked if there was a way he could pay us without involving insurance, my husband told him that that was what we wanted at first, but that my sister insisted that they will not be paying us back.

Apparently, my BIL was not in the know, and he was very pissed off at what my niece did, and my sister's response.

So they came to this solution: my niece's car will be sold, and if it doesn't fetch the whole compensation money, she will have to get a job and pay me the whole check untill it is paid off. Also she is grounded for the rest of the school year.

I am thankful for the people who encouraged me to talk with my husband.

Adding this comment and reply for more info:

Was there an apology? A sincere apology?

OOP: None from my sister or niece so far, my BIL was very apologetic though, even called me to say he was sorry, and to assure me that I will be getting my money as soon as possible.

And a few more comments from our OOP:

MIL said that she will get in contact with Loro Piana to get me a similar/same coat (the one I own is no longer on their website, so we are not sure if their physical stores still have it or not). And it might seem silly/vain to some, but that coat symbolizes me becoming a real part of my in-laws' family, so even if I am nervous wearing it, I still would like to have it, if you get what I mean.

Talking about her sister's family:

I mentioned in my last post (in a comment I think), that they are upper middle class, and that they could afford to pay us without going into debt.

Also, OOP clarifies in the comments that the coat was not a fur, it was cashmere.*

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious (insecure..my word) about his virility. Simone de Beauvoir

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children. The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
Woman's Niece Ruins Her $20K Coat For A Prank Video (AITA Dec 9, '22)

People in my life are not objective at all, I have some calling me an AH, some saying they are the AHs for not buying me a new one, and some so obsessed with the price of the coat that they are calling me an AH for simply owning it and wanting a new one.

Glad this worked out for her. The niece and her moo are both assholes but thankfully her dad is not, maybe the niece learns her lesson after losing her car? And being R, she is attacked for receiving and insuring an expensive gift.

I doubt the cunt niece will learn anything from this other than, "My aunt is a greedy selfish bitch who stole my car and made me work for a stupid coat!" Her mommy will tell her every damn day that her aunt overreacted and that she's a horrible person for threatening to pursue legal action against her own family over "just a coat." I doubt the little bitch will be grounded.

I wouldn't be surprised if the sister and broter-in-law get a divorce (or at least separate) over this because I'm sure they will be at each other's throats over what would be an appropriate punishment and the brother-in-law will be accused of choosing his SIL over his wife and child. My guess is the sister is jealous that the author married into a rich family, which is why she didn't give a fuck about what her brat daughter did. I'm glad the BIL has some sense in his head, but I wouldn't hold my breath for an apology from the Moo and the brat.

Sixteen is plenty old enough to know to not ruin someone's expensive coat on purpose. Unless she's mentally disabled, what exactly did she think was going to happen? I'm glad she's being forced to suffer the consequences of her actions, even if she learns nothing from it. I hope if the author has to interact with her sister's family, she wears her replacement coat in front of them at every opportunity.

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Cambion
I doubt the cunt niece will learn anything from this other than, "My aunt is a greedy selfish bitch who stole my car and made me work for a stupid coat!" Her mommy will tell her every damn day that her aunt overreacted and that she's a horrible person for threatening to pursue legal action against her own family over "just a coat." I doubt the little bitch will be grounded.

I'm afraid you're correct Cambion. If this brat were raised right, she wouldn't have considered ruining someone else's coat in the first place. And her moo is complacent at best in this scenario. And to be a teenager that is almost fully grown and this is how she deals with jealousy? I've got cruel news for her, she is going to see lots of women who are better looking that she is, and people who are wealthier than her and own nicer things. Does she plan to destroy all of their property? If so, hope she enjoys the clinker, because that is where she'll end up.