Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 07, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,259 |
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My (53M) daughter (15F) is pregnant, how do I tell her that our older daughter (31F) is actually her biological mother?
So me (53M) and my wife Rose (53F) had our older daughter Sarah (31F) when we were 22. We were young and broke, but managed and now we raised Sarah the best we could. She got pregnant at 15. It was a very depressing time for her, she had to go to therapy, and never told us anything about the father, which always upset her, so we never pushed the issue.
She originally wanted to terminate, but kept canceling, and eventually told us she wanted to give her up for adoption. But five months into the pregnancy, when she was discussing with a social worker for a couple to adopt, the couple dropped out of the adoption. After trying to find more couples, Sarah asked us if we wanted to adopt. Me and Rose were both 38 at this point, and we had both been discussing having another child, so we ended up adopting our daughter Ellie when Sarah had her at 16. Two years after Ellie, me and my wife had our son Logan (13) biologically. Growing up we always planned on telling Ellie she was adopted, but we knew with telling her that, we had to tell her Sarah was her bio mother.
Sarah never became close with Ellie, not even as sisters. She moved out after the birth and lived with Roses sister. She has always shown sisterly love to her Logan, but never towards Ellie. There has always been conflicting feelings with Sarah I have seen posts on Sarah's Instagram where she posted a picture of what was supposed to be the five of us, but Ellie was cut out. I confronted her about this and she says its too painful. However, a couple years ago she showed up drunk begging us to let us see her "daughter". We talked to her and let her stay but did not let her near Ellie since she was drunk. We found out from her husband she had suffered several miscarriages and was told to consider a surrogate.
She ended up doing that four years ago and has since had twins Jack and Jill (3M and F) who are biologically hers. Ellie has loved being an aunt to the twins and Sarah has encouraged this with Ellie, and has been inviting Ellie over her house for family time with Logan, who loves being an uncle. We have asked Sarah that in light of the twins, and Ellie being close to them, wouldn't it be time to tell Ellie the truth, but Sarah keeps claiming she is not ready.
Recently Ellie came to us and has told us she is pregnant. This time it is a completely different situation, we have met the father, he is a child hood friend of hers and they decided they wanted to lost their virginities to each other. We had the talk with Ellie long ago, as we did with Sarah. We approached the situation calmly and have since met with the father and his parents. Ellie is insistent on keeping the baby. She is 3 months along. We have not told Sarah yet, we do not know how to approach the situation, we dont know how she will be able to take it. Me and my wife are considering telling Ellie the truth but we need Sarah to be there.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 07, 2023 | Registered: 1 year ago Posts: 2 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 08, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,259 |
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How hard is it to go NC with your mother when you don't have a license or a car and she was your only reliable way anywhere? She's basically set me up for failure since I was 13 and never pushed me to get a job or finish school or make good grades so being a child I was happy about it bc i thought I knew what I was doing but now I'm 21 and a single mother to 2 girls and I'm living in government housing so my rent is only 50 dollars but I don't have an income bc I have no one to watch my children and I don't trust daycares.
I have applied at Wal-Mart but my application is still pending. I just don't know what I'm doing with my life or how to stay afloat and I'm so scared bc I don't have anyone to turn to. My kids father isn't in their lives and neither is any of his family and the depression and fear is really starting to get to me. I want to get a job and license and a car but I know I made it that much harder on myself by having children and I'm struggling to make it work. I just need positive comments.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 09, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
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AITA for brushing off my neighbors complaints about my child chalking around the neighborhood?
I live in kind of a fancy pants neighborhood and it’s a pretty stark contrast to my own person. I’m heavily tattooed and self made + pretty down to earth I’d say. Most of the people living here on the other hand were born into wealthy families and are complete snobs, except for the guy across the street. Shoutout to David if you’re reading this.
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Not sure why, because they posted it in the other AITA sub and were universally told they were the AH. Maybe they’ll try amiwrong next to see if they get a new opinion.
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i’m waiting to see how long it takes before the OP deletes the post bc of all the YTAs about their child drawing on the walls
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Tell your child he is free to practice his art on your property but not on other people's. Let him chalk up your walls inside and outside the house, the fence, anywhere else his little heart desires.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 09, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
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bell_flower
Double dipping today, buy what can I say? Reddit offers an endless supply of material.
Speaking of grandparents who don't have the balls to get out of the never-ending loop of raising irresponsible brats and their products of conception, this one is a doozy.
I need a freaking diagram but the short version is: Moo and Dud had one kid at age 22 named Sarah. Sarah got knocked up at age 15 and refused to have an abortion so Moo and Dud adopted the chyld (Elle) and also had another biological chyld (Logan) as Moo was pushing 40.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 12, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |
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2 and a half months of me talking to that baby in your belly. Told my whole family and in one day that I have no memory of I lost it. I blame myself every fucking day. I’ve cried multiple nights not for losing you for not knowing what the fuck you were gonna do with my baby. And having to find out by stalking Reddit.
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Let’s not do this online. I deleted my comment.
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Slit his throat open as emotional blackmail, stabbed himself in the chest, beat me, restrained me from leaving during an argument while pregnant, damaged my apartment so badly I'm still finding things broken to this day, used illicit anti anxiety meds behind my back several times, broke every promise he ever made to me, the list goes on. But also that he never tried to make amends for any of it. I chose to abort that pregnancy and he just recently offered a shoulder to cry on because he's worried it will hold me back as opposed to the plethora of shit he's put me through.The disconnect from reality is...
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 12, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,259 |
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I (female, 33) met my partner, Michael (M, 42), three years ago. Michael has a daughter, Emma (now 13), who lives with him full time. I met Michael about one year after his divorce when Emma was 10. Emma's mother lives with her new husband. Emma visits her mom every other Saturday .
Emma hates her stepdad ( and her mom is frustrated) and me. She calls me names and insults me when her dad isn't around. When he is, she ignores me as if I don't exist. I've tried spending time with her and doing things to make her feel special, but she laughed and told me to go f* myself. Michael thinks we need to be patient with her since she's a teen still dealing with her parents' divorce.
She became very upset and threw a fit when she found out I was pregnant. Now, her resentment has worsened. Michael wants us to get married before the baby comes. He hasn't even proposed! Instead, he suggested going to a courthouse and getting married, considering this is his second marriage and I'm pregnant. He thinks this way, Emma won't be upset since there won't be a wedding or anything. He literally said, 'Can you order rings off Etsy or Amazon, and then we just get married?'
Am I being selfish if I want to have a small wedding? I've been dreaming of my wedding day since I was a little girl! We both work, and having a small wedding is entirely within our budget.
ETA : Emma’s mom tried therapy many times with her . She refuses ! The most she has ever gone is 2 sessions now she refuses ! Emma’s step dad is done with her . On Saturdays that she goes to get mom , her step dad leaves ( stays with his mom) because she constantly calls him names and insultes him. Michael does so many activities with her , takes her to father daughter dates . She is great with him but she can’t stand me . She wants nothing to do with me . If Michael even suggests me being included in anything she says she doesn’t wanna do it anymore
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 13, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 13, 2023 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,998 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 15, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 15, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |
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they both have anxiety and are possibly on the spectrum (we're on the waitlist for screening) school refusal is caused by anxiety and I'm not adding to the problem by getting physical and dragging them to school.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 15, 2023 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 1,998 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 16, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
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Cambion
No kid likes going to school much like how no adult likes going to work, but guess what, sugar? You still gotta go. I never wanted to go to school either because there were rules I didn't want to follow, uniforms I didn't want to wear, and teachers I didn't want to listen to. School is not romper room happy fun time.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 17, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |
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freya
It beats starving and living in a car because your parents aren't able to keep a job. I wonder if making the brats live in a car with her for one night would be enough to change their minds? I bet it is. The car would either be cold or hot and I'd almost guarantee at least one brat would need to use the bathroom which would require effort to locate one, not to mention finding food and potentially having to relocate the car numerous times.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 17, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |
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Husband wanted to do the pumpkin patch today, I obliged even though it’s chilly today & I worked overnight last night. When I had told him I wasn’t interested & he could go with our toddler he said I was “poo pooing” on his plans and he’s been looking forward to it all weekend.
Toddler had a nap in the car on the way (not long enough) but woke up chipper. I took this as a good sign. He has a great time in the corn pool, seeing the animals, and running through their activity areas but melts down when we go to pick out our pumpkins because he sees the corn pool.
He continues to fuss through the checkout & my husband looks over at me annoyed. I told him today wasn’t a good idea and that I don’t have fun on these outings. I’m stuck with the baby, the stroller/wagon, and he gets to play with our toddler. He told me to just “switch” him but baby is in a carrier bundled under my sweatshirt, there wasn’t really a way to take him out and hand him over.
We got in the car to go home & he’s upset. Says the only one that wasn’t mad about the outing by the end was the baby.
Just a vent to share some annoyance & hopefully (unfortunately) some of you know what I mean.
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Omg this speaks to me. This summer I took the kiddo to Disneyland. Thousands of dollars and months of planning to make sure two measly days went off without a hitch. And it did. Great trip, wonderful memories.
Then two weeks later on an unrelated trip our car broke down and we spent three days stranded in a tiny midwestern town. We literally spent one entire day hanging out on a bench in a truck stop, and I swear to God, Bromos, my kid has equally fond memories of that gd town as she does of the expertly curated trip to the happiest place on Earth. The mind blows.
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I. Hate. Outings.
Seriously. I'm fully with you. They're a little more fun when it's just me and my 6yo, but when the 3yo and my husband come along, it's just not fun for anyone.
Thankfully my husband seems to enjoy them well enough and doesn't mind going without me!
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 17, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,259 |
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So my husband and I just had a baby two months ago. We also bought a fixer-upper the day before he was born. Needless to say, life has been very stressful and chaotic for the both of us, as we both commute a hefty distance right now, get very little sleep, and I am nutritionally tapped out from birth. Neither of us are at all healthy, and we’re a little strapped for cash because we’re trying to get our house done before our baby gets too mobile.
My husband also has sensory issues.
Things he does not tolerate well:
most cooked vegetables (mush is not his friend), tolerates some raw veggies, but honestly prefers fruit
the textures of casseroles and soups
reheated food in general
lunch meat
cottage cheese/oatmeal/applesauce textures
Some examples of foods he likes (I’ll eat anything but seafood and kale):
grilled cheese
cubed and roasted winter squash, spaghetti squash, and grilled summer squashes
pan pizza (I can make this homemade, but not with our current schedule/the baby)
rice dishes (Thai ones, specifically, although we like Korean style dishes as well)
I make a simple pasta with spaghetti, cherry tomatoes, olive oil, and herbs from the garden -Gouda and apples as a snack
He also grew up around very mediocre cooks, so he has zero kitchen skills. My kitchen skills are decent, but I can’t do it all, and he does want to help.
All this to say, I want to enable both of us into healthier habits. What are some filling meal ideas that are fairly easy and quick to prepare for lunches and dinners? He has access to an ancient microwave and a refrigerator at work, while I have every appliance except for a stove at my disposal.
For lunch he usually goes to a local diner because meatless food doesn’t keep him feeling full and reheated meat has a weird texture.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 17, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
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Cambion
My guess is they wouldn't care, but they'd still bitch. Because kids don't really get things like long-term consequences - all they understand is ME ME ME, NOW NOW NOW. They'll gladly whine about being hungry, cold, and uncomfortable, but wouldn't understand or care that it's their shitty behavior causing it because their so-called anxiety keeps their Moo from holding down a job.
Moo needs to haul their asses to school regardless of their precious snowflake feelings, and if they get anxious, they can go to the school nurse. Having a place to live and food to eat is more important than Junior's fee-fees, so the brats are just gonna have to take one for the team.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 17, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
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Cambion
Moos griping about how they hate taking their kids on outings. So then, why do they bother? If the kids are going to do nothing but scream and cry on a planned outing - even if they're looking forward to it - why do it at all? I can assure these Moos that every single person in public will be grateful if they stay the fuck home with their screeching crotch maggots.
Why waste money on activities when the brats are just going to be cranky assholes? Especially if they're under the age of five and won't fucking remember the experience anyway? Fun things are wasted on most kids and they will suck all the fun out of any activity with their shitty behavior. Wait until they're older to do the big fun things.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 17, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
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bell_flower
Another one married to a man-baby. Asking what to cook for him. At least the most popular comment right now is someone telling this woman that he should cook and fix his own meals.
Why Oh Why do these dumb bitches think they are responsible for feeding another person in an adult body?
At least this guy says he wants to help and I hope she takes him up on it. Why not just tell him, figure it out?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 18, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 19, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |
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My 20 month old was trying to help like his sibling and put groceries in the cart. I was trying to buy something but one of the sale stickers was ripped so I was quickly looking in the ad to see if it was on sale.
Meanwhile, my son reached (while sitting in the cart) and put two things in the cart.
I quickly put them back and he got angry and gave me a short, quick, loud yell. I told him no and he immediately put his head down in a pout.
This old man about 6 feet away got really angry and gave me a dirty look before turning to my kid and screaming at him loudly. Just screaming. My 1 year old got scared and started crying.
Something was clearly wrong with that man and I didn’t want to piss him off anymore so I quickly turned and walked away from him.
What the f is wrong with people? I’m sorry if he hurt your ears, but seriously is that your answer? Do you do that to all kids? Do you loudly cry back a babies? I’m just so done with todays world. I’m going to let it go and have a quick talk with both kids about what happened but man I just needed to vent here.
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Not even going to lie though - for the first time ever tonight I just screamed back as loudly and authentically as I could, fully on purpose, at my 3.5 and 5.5.
Yeah they cried. And then I apologized, comforted them, explained to them why I decided to scream, and talked to them more about screaming.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 20, 2023 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,771 |
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My 20 month old was trying to help like his sibling and put groceries in the cart. I was trying to buy something but one of the sale stickers was ripped so I was quickly looking in the ad to see if it was on sale.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 20, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,259 |
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My (23M) girlfriend (23F) have been dating for about a year now. She’s been on a crazy baby kick lately. I definitely want to have kids but not for some time down the line. I’ve communicated this with her but I said if she wants a kid now, she can stay home and take care of it. We’re both just starting our careers and are in really no position to have a child. This baby kick upsets me because I’m 50-75% remote so I will be the one taking care of the child if we do have one. While I’m just starting to attempt to make a name for myself in my company and in the field. I am not willing to make that sacrifice at 23 years old. Soooo I told her if she wants a kid so badly she can stay home and take care of it.
She got mad that I was asking her to put the hypothetical baby before her career. She’s upset that I think she should be the caretaker when I go off to work. The issue is, I’m not insinuating that.
Who knows? Maybe 5-10 years down the line one of us will be in a position to be a caretaker. And if not, at least we’ll be making enough money to afford daycare.
The point is, we’re in no position to have a child. I am not willing to make the sacrifices right now. If she wants one so badly, she can make the sacrifices. AITA for having this sentiment?
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 21, 2023 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,259 |
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AITA for not congratulating my SIL on her pregnancy?
My (30w) SIL (33w) just announced her first pregnancy. Me and my Husband (her brother) already have a 2 year old and her twin sister already got a few kids, so she was the last of us childless.
Here comes the "twist", we lost our second born in July on their birth, in an absolute unpredictable way. We personally don't wait until a certain week to announce a pregnancy because life is unpredictable and you have no guarantees anyway. So we announced this pregnancy way before week 12 and her exact words were "you're pretty brave to announce the pregnancy that early". The birth of said child was also the reason we weren't able to attend her wedding which just happened on the same day a 4 hour drive away (we didn't spread the news about our sons death on that day though).
She announced her pregnancy at a little get together that originally took place to celebrate her and her twin sisters birthday. Apparently she wasn't pregnant with one children but twins but lost the child early into pregnancy. And she was openly happy about it. She started listing all the reasons she was glad that she didn't have to buy everything twice and didn't have to do twice the work ect..
I was sitting across the table and I didn't even know how to react, first of all of course her pregnancy announcement triggered some feelings of jealousy and I would have wished for her to tell us beforehand and not in a room full of people. But I'm not mad about that or anything although I find it a bit insensitive. On the other hand her happiness about loosing a child left me speechless, I mean I guess I kinda get her train of thoughts but I think some thoughts are inside thoughts and I must admit I felt offended about being confronted with her reaction to child loss in that kinda way.
Anyway neither me not my husband got up to hug her or congratulate her and she later on texted my husband that she wasn't happy about the way we acted.
Re: Breakingmom Tales: Or A Collection of Stupidity & Dumb Choices October 21, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,129 |